Yeah I’ll uber bc the next one will def get me there late…

Debating if I’m gonna attempt the next bus or if I’m just gonna uber bc if I try the next bus I will be late for work.

But ubering can be expensive 😭

Please…I need things to actually improve…

This year was suppose to be about new beginnings for me, according to the tarot readings I have done, why then has it been just suffering?

Sorry, this is long, idk what to do atm, I want to be happy but idk how.

I just needed to vent.

For me with how everything is against me.

I want to end things sometimes, bc I don’t want to struggle like this anymore and I don’t think it’s gonna get better.

But I also don’t want to hurt the ppl who care about me by ending it, bc I know first hand that destroys you.

Like this year so far has been iffy, I owe 1k for my tax return that was due yesterday and I still can’t pay it, I owe my mom more then that for the dental work that I had to get done, I’m struggling financially in life on top of everything else, I just don’t see how life is suppose to get better-

A higher paying job so I’m stuck where I am. I also can’t hold a job to save my life, my mental health gets so bad at work that I quit and find something else hoping it will work out but it never does. I just want to find my path.

I hate that I feel this way, a relationship won’t magically fix all my issues, that I know. But I can’t help feeling this way, I just can’t.

I also don’t know what I want to do for the long run in life, I’m not talented enough at anything to really make it a career. And I’m not smart enough for-

I have had a crush of sorts since his passing but I am about 99% sure it’s not mutual, so I have not acted on it. I do wish someone would come along who does feel the same, someone who at least accepts my fictionkin and my relationship with Blue as well. Idk if I’ll ever find that.

I just want life to feel worth living for me again, I just don’t know how to go about that.

Im lonely for one, I think about my late boyfriend a lot, how I wish he had not ended his own life, would I be happy with him still? We would have been together for a year and a half I think if he was alive.