Blonde Matthew
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blondematthew.bsky.social
Blonde Matthew
@blondematthew.bsky.social
The only tour guide in Melbourne.
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I'm a big comedy nerd, so for me the colour of the year isn't what Pantone picks but what the Melbourne Comedy Festival picks. Next year is a mustard yellow, this year a crimson, last year a canary yellow.
December 7, 2025 at 6:06 AM
Looking after my youngest sister's cat this week
December 7, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Melbourne marching for a free Palestine, and calling on SBS to pull out of Eurovision.
December 7, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Reposted by Blonde Matthew
While approving 27 new fossil fuel projects.
December 6, 2025 at 7:49 AM
I love when over-the-top styled looks for a thematic comedy festival poster are just cropped to be used in a regular weekly standup post.
December 6, 2025 at 6:17 AM
Movie World: Netflix on the Gold Coast
December 6, 2025 at 5:08 AM
Reposted by Blonde Matthew
sometimes you see someone do a pitch perfect recreation of an aesthetic that takes your breath away
December 6, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Reposted by Blonde Matthew
2022: Labor will restore the public service.
2023: Labor has brought some temp jobs in-house again.
2024: Peter Dutton wants to cut the public service!
2025: Labor are cutting the public service.
December 3, 2025 at 12:37 AM
I don't need an app to tell me what I like listening to. My favourite thing is my niece and nephew shouting "UNCLE MATT!" when I walk in their door. I've heard it about a dozen times this year.
December 4, 2025 at 12:25 AM
We haven't unlocked this bit of Town Hall Station yet
December 1, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Ghosts Australia has found its feet.
November 30, 2025 at 10:01 AM
We should build another Munnel
November 30, 2025 at 6:53 AM
Let's make these blossoms bloom together!
November 30, 2025 at 6:06 AM
Today has been the best. Visited every new station, bumped into over 15 different friends, met a guy and gave him my number, took a break to yell at the losers draped in Australian flags!
November 30, 2025 at 4:57 AM
So cool seeing an electric wheelchair user hopping on and off from carriage 3 instead of having to be at the front of the train. #MetroTunnel
November 30, 2025 at 3:09 AM
The nazis are gone. Time to get back to train-ing
November 30, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Melbourne Metro: MM
November 30, 2025 at 2:28 AM
What is Pauline Hanson even doing down here in our city? It's so important to march and show her rhetoric isn't welcome here!
November 30, 2025 at 1:39 AM
November 29, 2025 at 10:49 PM
November 29, 2025 at 10:19 PM
These dingos look like shiba inus, and these possums look American. It might just be the artists' choices, but this horrible AI-slop world has me second guessing Christmas decorations instead of just enjoying them.
November 29, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Let me in!!!!
November 29, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Got so swept up in Munnel madness I didn't realise the nazis were having another stunt this Sunday.
So after checking out State Library Station, stick around the lawn at half past 11. We're gonna go yell at Pauline Hanson.
November 29, 2025 at 11:43 AM
Melbourne Metro, MM. Flip it around, Wicked Witch!
November 28, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Something has happened at Flinders Street. Cops everywhere. They've taped off Flinders between Elizabeth and Degraves, and they've erected some tents.
November 27, 2025 at 5:38 AM