im so happy for you!!! congrats <33

i keep tellibg myself ill be able to get rid of just the bping and keep the starving like im not in literal debt bc of food

the pace of like 1kg per year would make me realize by now that im not very good at this but hey

i need to actually die bc how did i get back to my lw and gain it all back So quickly why is weight gain So Easy compared to wl i just need to lock in i just need to keep losing and never stop just kill me

also i thibk i ate too much today i said fuck it and didnt eat one of my safe options for lunch so yeah. kill me

does that make sense? like yeah i would probably be happier doing smth else but i cant let this go bc what if this is as good as it gets and im just the problem like usual im so scared to lose that and i also dont have a clear idea of what i Would do instead anyway sooo

im pretty sure im not well suited for my field and more importantly dont enjoy it that much but its so hard to gauge when to leave and when to stay when things have been so much Worse that i feel like i should just accept smth if it doesnt make me want to immediately kms

which is what is making me so defensive and mad ig im the problem bye

of it is im too oversensitive and i think i take it really personally when i dont have the answers like im always scared of letting ppl down if that makes sense so when u ask me smth idk the answers to bc its not part of my job and then u get frustrated bc u cant figure it out it feels like my fault

not even making minimum wage and doing everyones job for them grad school “employment” shld be illegal fuck all of u im so mad lol

generative a.i why tf do u think i have the answers figure it out ur a grown ass adult omfg and if u cant suffer silently in self loathing and guilt like the rest of us do!!!!

ironically enough im one of the few ppl who know whats going on at work and the amt of hate i have towards certain coworkers is insane im usually apathetic abt ppl but i hate them sm i hate hyperdependent entitled ppl who dont even Try to figure smth out before asking someone bitch im not genie or

its ok!! 🫂

i will say one thing abt my mom where i really lucked out is how she Never prioritized or even remotely valued looks ill give her that. she never wore makeup even her ears are unpierced shes completely uninterested in aesthetics lol