Ben Stockman
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benstockman.bsky.social
Ben Stockman
@benstockman.bsky.social
250 followers 570 following 180 posts
Wordsmith, author, internet person.

Wordsmithdigital.co.uk
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benstockman.bsky.social
Been meaning to post some #WIPsnips from the children's book I'm working on, and this snippet seems pretty apt for #Thanksgiving #BookSky #WritingCommunity
“What did you mean, when you said that the earth was reacting to not being connected with the otherworld anymore?” Grandpa had said it as they walked past a slightly sad-looking dry field with no crops in it. “Ye’re supposed to be concentratin’.” “No but seriously, what did you mean?” Reuben stopped and turned, partly to make a point that this one was an important question, unlike some of the other, lesser but numerous questions he had asked on the way. He had stopped and turned a few times on the journey, too. “Ye’ve heard o’climate change, o’course? That.” “But I thought that’s because of, like, pollution and stuff.” “It is! But in cuttin’ off our connection to the otherworld, humans went from livin’ in harmony with the earth to exploitin’ ‘er. Men like Abner DeLonge, or William the Conqueror, who want to chop the world up into little bits n’sell it to their mates, they did just that. It’s only been two hundred years since the so-called industrial revolution and look at what we’ve already done. Pillaged earth’s natural resources and polluted the atmosphere, killed off whole species, warmed the ice caps. The world’s reactin’ all right. Storms gettin’ worse, tsunamis floodin’ the place. Heat gettin’ hotter all over the shop. All cos o’men like that. Just look at America.” “What about it?” “Christopher blimmin’ Columbus, that’s what. No better than William the conqueror. Come along, ‘discovered’ summen that were already there, claimed it for hisself even though there were already millions o’people on it. Then them blimmin’ Pilgrims come along din’t they, got thrown out of England for being weirdos who wanted to ban theatre n’dancin’ cos they believed enjoyment was sinful, the numpties. They got to America n’woulda starved if it hadn’t been for the native Americans. Then they killed ‘em all. Thanksgvin’? They should be givin’ thanks that their ancestors weren’t all scalped. N’now they’ve elected themselves a complete n’total ninny-hammer.”
November 27, 2025 at 10:16 PM
benstockman.bsky.social
Do you like books, #mythology, weird shamanic powers, gods, monsters or all of the above? If so you can now buy my novel 'Atlantis: Children of the Gods' which is out today! www.amazon.co.uk/Atlantis-Chi... #BookSky #WritingCommunity
The cover of the novel 'Atlantis: Children of the Gods' - a sinister-looking man perches unnaturally on the lowst edge of a three-tiered rock plateau, with waterfalls flowing off it, while a strange red glow emits from the plateau's top The back cover of the book. Blurb reads: The sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose. - Genesis 6:2 Every world mythology contains the same story, hidden in plain sight. "Understand that the sons of light watch us now; they watch us only! They are not beings who walk among us!" 15,000 B.C.E. Cleito meets a handsome stranger who will one day be known as a god. Her grandfather, the shaman, fears and mistrusts the newcomer who is changing the land, against the ancient teachings. The shaman fears too for Cleito’s young sister, who is having troubled dreams and channeling unnatural voices. But gods and lovers are wilful, and Cleito will soon have to choose between romance, destiny and her upbringing, no matter the consequences. And 'Aatlae' is not the only supernatural being with an eye on her homeland. When otherworldly forces set their sights on Atlantis, not even the children of the gods will be safe. Told across two generations, Children of the Gods brings Plato’s lost continent to life in this darkly funny epic tale, richly imagined and alive with gods, monsters, and myth.
November 19, 2025 at 4:38 PM
benstockman.bsky.social
Speaking of gods, I think we're probably close enough in time for me to be able to reveal this, the kick-ass cover of my first book which is coming out VERY SOON INDEED NOW
The cover for the upcoming book "Atlantis: Children of the Gods", by me (!) A sinister-looking man with long blond hair perches unnaturally, like a bird, at the edge of a tiered plateau. Waterfalls run off the edges, while at the top a mysterious red light glows. We hope this cover screams 'buy my book' (please buy my book)
November 5, 2025 at 4:55 PM
benstockman.bsky.social
I've always loved Venice, but I love it more now I've seen their reaction to the Bezos wedding.
The tower of St Mark's square in Venice with the words "No kings, No Bezos" projected onto it. Fuck yeah, Venice. An eerily accurate representation of Bezos in a tuxedo with his pants down, sitting on a pile of Amazon parcels that extend right up his butt. Venice does not like Jeff. Dummy Jeff Bezos sits in a gondola with his dummy bride, carrying a sign saying 'just married'. The cold, dead eyes of dummy Jeff are somehow warmer and less terrifying than the cold, dead eyes of actual Jeff. Dummy Jeff floats past a ferry, clinging to an Amazon parcel and a fistful of money. The irony of this is that this will be how actual Jeff ends his days, clinging to his cash floating in the detritus of the world his company helped destroy.
June 28, 2025 at 6:49 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
Day 2 of recording my audiobook! #Atlantis #Booksky #writingcommunity
A low building with two orange doors, Concept TV studios in Bedfordshire
May 1, 2025 at 7:49 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
"Yousa people gonna dye?"
A sign for the Gungun beauty salon, containing neither Boss Nass or Jar Jar Binks.
February 9, 2025 at 1:26 PM
benstockman.bsky.social
You may wonder... why come here to this Christmassy tatfest? What possible draw could there be in this madness? First, do not underestimate the pull of mulled wine. Second: samples of cheeses and boozes and chili jams and suchlike. But most important of all, this, the psychedelic fudge of dreams:
A wide image of the most colourful fudge stall in all the world. It looks like Willy Wonka got really into fudge. Cream egg fudge. Malteser fudge. Mango and passionfruit fudge. Some of it is radioactively colourful. A lot of it is now in our cupboard.
November 30, 2024 at 9:33 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
Get them the gift they never knew they wanted! A guaranteed way to make your friends houses much classier this Christmas. Who could resist such witty charm?!
Carved wooden signs proclaim "Sometimes all you need to say is "I am Groot" - because apparently the Guardians of the Galaxy fanbase also love to announce their presence with woodwork, "Welcome to the Shitshow, hope you brought wine" and "WARNING: Cunt free zone!" This last one is a bare-faced lie. Shiny lettering on black and beige signs read: "Enjoy your poo", "Fanfuckingtastic" "Fucking fabulous" and "Happyfuckindays". If you saw these signs in your friends house you would stage an intervention.
November 30, 2024 at 9:18 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
"Mum, I know you wanted books for Christmas but instead I got you this enormous photo of Lily Allen taking a shit."
An enormous framed photo of singer Lily Allen on the loo. It is all in black and white, except for her pants which are bright pink. Truly, nobody would ever hang this on their wall. It should not be at a Christmas show. It should not exist.
November 30, 2024 at 9:06 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
Festive cakes! The Christmassiest of all the cakes right here; featuring child in a cage, woman covered with insects and man-eating plant (paging @semadivad.bsky.social on that last one)
A cake of a child trapped in a cage. His hands grip the bars festively. Alright, I know it's pinocchio but never let the truth get in the way of a good story) A cake; the busy of a woman with insects crawling on her. It is Christmassy as fuck up in here I tell you. A cake of Audrey II from the film "Little Shop of Horrors" which I'm sure you'll all agree is definitely a Christmas film.
November 30, 2024 at 8:59 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
Personally I for one do not feel festive until I've sat in public with a big blue laser in my mouth.
A very festive and very public teeth whitening stall. Blue light will whiten your teeth in fifteen minutes, but in that time your soul will have fled your body because of the sneering judgement of passers-by.
November 30, 2024 at 8:53 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
Here of course we see the true meaning of Christmas on display, for what could be more festive than modular flooring, uPvc windows, Santa's favourite hair removal stall (get waxed in public this Christmas!) or this very festive armoured car?
Some festive modular flooring Some festive uPVC windows for sale A festive hair removal stand - mercifully this was Friday so it is quiet but yes people really do just sit here and get waxed while everyone walks by and gawks festively. A festive armoured car. It has a big red bow on its bonnet.
November 30, 2024 at 8:50 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
Something I have only ever seen in this tat monument: MYSTERY BAGS. What's inside!? Only crossing this man's palm with silver (£10 in new money) will reveal the truth. These contain sweets (I think?) but there are others elsewhere that say simply "Adult", "Man", "woman" or "child". Fear them.
A table stacked with large bags covered in red and white stripes and white stars on a blue background. The bags say "American mystery bag" but the only real mystery is why anyone would buy one of these badboys. People are listening to his pitch and walking away. The mystery will go unsolved, this time.
November 30, 2024 at 8:44 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
The actual Ideal home show is all sustainable and recyclable and solar (and an awful lot of people selling knives and blenders, or things that do the work of knives and blenders). The Christmas ideal home show is, well... the opposite of those worthy things. It is a glorious monument to festive tat.
A stall contains various festive gubbins in red and gold. Several listless-looking Santa's stand in a row, longing for death. In front of them stands an enormous Christmas gnome, potentially haunted, wearing a hat twice his size. Chances of anyone bringing these things home with them: less than 1% A stall containing pillows shaped like red and white sweets. They have little smiling faces that seem to mask a dark and turgid past. Behind them stands a demonic choir of snowmen, Santas and reindeers. Not one of those reindeers has eyes that both look in the same direction. I had an RE teacher like that, it was very confusing. 1/10 would not buy. A ceramic gingerbread family has been glazed in what I really hope is fake snow. Their smiles say "Happy Christmas" but their eyes say "Pleeeeease kiiiiilllll meeeeee" A stall containing children's tat, the enormous cheap prices drawing you in, only to discover an overstacked table of festive disappointment.
November 30, 2024 at 8:31 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
I have managed to escape from the world of chintz! Behold, and marvel at its awful festive sheen:
Olympia, decorated with lights and trees for the Christmas ideal home show. A large vaulted glass and metal roof with galleries over the main floor. A terrifying plastic trumpeter heralds poor lost souls inside this arcane temple to chintz. Two floors of Olympia decked out in lights. A man in a sparkly jacket stands on a raised platform in the centre with a microphone, where he musically murders Christmas classics. A light up mirrored Santa, elf and Christmas tree, and some kind of strange horror behind that may be a snowman at a bad angle but may also be a portal to hell.
November 30, 2024 at 8:12 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
One of my favourite London facts - just off the Strand is this beauty, the last Victorian methane gas lamp. They put them on hills because the sewer gas would build up and explode. It also leaked, so in addition to all the smog, lots of Victorian London would have smelled like farts.
An image of Carting Lane in London, looking towards Savoy place, with the Shell headquarters in the background, and a grand old black covered Victorian era covered street lamp in the foreground. The lamp is powered by methane from the sewer beneath, as many were in this era. It's a Victorian fart lamp!
November 24, 2024 at 7:42 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
Sooo much this - check out this shocker of a reference page in the Atlantean nonsense I'm reading at the moment
A reference page from a not very good book about Atlantis. Many of the books mentioned are notable bobbins. One of his references is himself.
November 23, 2024 at 10:41 AM
benstockman.bsky.social
Ten years ago we held a social media event where if any speaker used the word #engagement we made them wear a horse mask for the rest of their talk. The rules were clearly stated. Here is @andrewkeithwalker.bsky.social, a mere two minutes in:
Esteemed social media speaker Andrew Walker wearing the horse mask of shame, while signalling with a glove shaped like a Facebook 'like' symbol that he is totally okay with this, honest
November 20, 2024 at 10:18 PM
benstockman.bsky.social
It seemed to me that you lived your life like
A sandal in a bin
November 15, 2024 at 3:53 PM
benstockman.bsky.social
Satire is dead, the man who wrecked our relationship with Europe is now in charge of our relationships with all countries... But at least it gives me an excuse to trot this out again?
A mocked up image of dating app Grindr circa 2015, missing the letter G. David Cameron sits in the top left of the grid, as if the profile is his. The rest of the grid is filled with very sexy pigs. Not pictured is David feeling lucky that his secret is not yet out and that nobody has heard of Lord Ashcroft.
November 13, 2023 at 10:27 AM