Ben Schrager, but he’s thankful now
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benschrager.bsky.social
Ben Schrager, but he’s thankful now
@benschrager.bsky.social
580 followers 1K following 620 posts
Sometimes acting in plays, sometimes writing them.
Go Birds, Go Phils, fuck TERFs
I was bad at Twitter, now I get to be bad this.
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benschrager.bsky.social
Happy NFL Sunday, everyone
“OUT INDEFINITELY For Mononucleosis” in the “ZOHRAN For Mayor” meme font
November 9, 2025 at 1:57 PM
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Homer Simpson: Whenever VJ’s not on the screen, all the other characters should be asking: “Where’s VJ?”
October 23, 2025 at 12:27 AM
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Lol
Screenshot of a text exchange with my brother before the Saquon TD: Me (3:19pm): Do a fake Me (3:20pm): Called it Me (3:20pm): I am a genius Brother (3:20pm): Beautiful
September 28, 2025 at 7:24 PM
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Still thinking of this crowd shot after Russ’ three throws out of the back of the end zone
Two NY Giants fans, staring into the middle distance, seemingly disassociating. There’s also a Chiefs fan behind them, on his phone, smiling. There’s a third guy in a Patagonia hat and glasses. Not sure what his deal is to be honest. The facial hair on display in this shot ranges from lapsed Amish to I’m Walkin’ Here
September 22, 2025 at 4:21 AM
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The photo they released literally looked like the meme, of course the dude’s a right wing groyper
Meme of the right wing guys with sunglasses, usually in their car, all looking exactly the same
September 12, 2025 at 2:06 PM
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Idina Menzel in the musical Redwood. She is scaling a giant redwood tree and embracing it
September 11, 2025 at 2:01 PM
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That was fun
Philadelphia Eagles 2024 World Champions banner. It includes an image of the Lombardi trophy and the Eagles logo. The image is washed in a green light from yesterday’s banner reveal ceremony.
September 6, 2025 at 12:03 AM
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God, I love this
Row 1: Vicente Padilla, Adam Eaton, Jarrod Saltalamacchia Row 2: Juan Uribe, David Bell, J.C. Romero Row3: Joe Blanton, J.A. Happ, Mike Lieberthal They’re all making the most Baseball Face faves to ever exist
September 3, 2025 at 4:40 AM
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The same photo of Trump, only now it has the logo for Radiohead’s The Bends album plastered over it
August 31, 2025 at 2:15 AM
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Look, it can be scary to come out at an older age, I’m just happy they’re finally living their truth
An ad that has Mr. Met embracing the Klondike Bar Polar Bear. The copy reads: “And it’s gooonnne! THIS POLAR BEAR COULDN’T BE PROUDER”
August 29, 2025 at 7:32 PM
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Wearing my dad’s old Halladay shirtsey to reset the vibes (hopefully)
A view from section 422 at Citi Field. It’s a beautiful night with the sun setting
August 26, 2025 at 11:08 PM
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That’s funny, because “middle finger inflammation” is what I had every time he pitched! HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO
Picture of Statler and Waldorf in their box seats at The Muppet Show
August 26, 2025 at 9:14 PM
benschrager.bsky.social
Ball four call in the strike zone in the second inning, would have ended the inning. Instead, it’s a 4 point swing. Meanwhile, ump misses two calls fully out of the zone last inning to Harper, one of them for strike 3. Phils have been bad this game, but sheesh. Robo umps now
Pitch cast for Suarez vs. Trout in the bottom of the 2nd. Ball four called on a pitch in the zone, walks in a run, and leads to a bases clearing double instead of ending the inning Pitcher cast for Burke vs. Harper in the bottom of the 8th. Two pitches fully outside of the zone, both of them would have been ball 4, are instead called strikes 1 and 3.
July 20, 2025 at 9:00 PM
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🎵 Would you know my name?
Is there Tuna in Heaven? 🎵
Receipt for a sandwich I got today: 1 Tuna in Heaven on an Everything bagel
July 4, 2025 at 3:48 PM
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New theory: one of the reasons Zohran Mamdani has been able to amass support beyond the typical DSA base is because he subconsciously reminds Liberals of Lin-Manuel Miranda and the DSA folks just ignore that part. Like, he kinda looks like if LMM grew the goatee out into a full beard
Photo of Zohran Mamdani. He’s wearing a black suit jacket, white button down, and red tie. He’s smiling and has a thin-but-nice black beard Photo of Lin-Manuel Miranda in a tuxedo jacket, white button down, and black bow tie. He’s smiling and has a thin-but-nice black goatee
June 21, 2025 at 12:30 AM
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Umpires will not see heaven.
MLB Gameday at bat: Orion Kerkering pitching for the Phillies, Brice Turang batting for the Brewers in the 7th inning. 1st pitch: high and inside, correctly called a ball 2nd pitch: fully in the strike zone, called a ball 3rd pitch: clips the bottom right corner of the zone, called a ball 4th pitch: fully in the strike zone, called a ball Brice Turang walks on four pitches
June 1, 2025 at 7:34 PM
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How many strikeouts did Mick Abel have in his MLB debut?
The album art for the original Broadway cast album: “Raul Julia in: Nine” Boon by Arthur Kopit Music and Lyrics by Maury Yeston Adaptation from the Italian by Mario Fratti Directed by Tommy Tune The image is of an unfinished/chipped tile, in the style of old MTA subway murals, with the number 9 at the center in green with a red background. At the top is an unfinished mural of Raul Julia as Guido Contini This is a really long alt text for a one word joke: the point is Mick Abel had nine strikeouts in his MLB debut, matching the Phillies franchise record. He would have had ten if the umpire understood the strike zone *shrug*
May 18, 2025 at 7:00 PM
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Perfect, no notes
Screenshot of leaders at NewsMax ringing the Opening Bell of the Stock Market today, April 3, 2025. The stock market plummeted immediately after
April 3, 2025 at 4:48 PM
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A little doggie rolling over in the grass, showing his soft belly, hoping his owner will give him pets
March 14, 2025 at 10:08 PM
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Hey, Senator Schumer, found this cool new photo of you, thought you’d like it
A little doggie, rolling over in the grass to show his soft belly, hoping someone will give him some pets
March 14, 2025 at 3:07 AM
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About last night…
Eagles fans climbing on top of a garbage truck, the lights from City Hall glowing in the background Eagles fans on top of a garbage truck, closer up. One fan is in a janky Eagle costume that can only be described as “Swoop’s cousin who definitely owes money to the mafia” A taxidermy deer head being carried around by an Eagles fan with beer cans on the antlers
February 10, 2025 at 6:02 PM
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Guys, I’m so drunk
I don’t even know anymore. I think this is a deer’s head with beer cans on the antlers. I’m so drunk, y’all
February 10, 2025 at 6:11 AM
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Fucktomb 2.0
Eagles fans on a garbage truck More Eagles fans on a garbage truck
February 10, 2025 at 5:54 AM
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Mahomes rn
The Simpsons “Now, Martin is scoring off me” meme but with the following text: “Now, Maddox is scoring off me. Oh, that is it.”
February 10, 2025 at 2:21 AM
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Dancing at the club with a light beam shooting out my chest
February 10, 2025 at 1:13 AM