@basilsimon.bsky.social
"You are Enrico Palazzo, but not the actual one." - my baby brother.
The Nutcracker but the dad and Drosselmeyer go to bed in the middle of their longstanding annual Warhammer 40k game and the mouse king suddenly regrets the choices that lead to this situation. I'd definitely go see it.
December 6, 2025 at 7:06 AM
The Nutcracker but the dad and Drosselmeyer go to bed in the middle of their longstanding annual Warhammer 40k game and the mouse king suddenly regrets the choices that lead to this situation. I'd definitely go see it.
Oh brilliant, now America's enemies know the exact size of slightly larger tire needed to overwhelm our secretary of defense. The next Tom Clancy novel is going to be awful 🤣
November 2, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Oh brilliant, now America's enemies know the exact size of slightly larger tire needed to overwhelm our secretary of defense. The next Tom Clancy novel is going to be awful 🤣
My father in law worked in tech systems and security for well over 40 years. He's never voluntarily carried a mobile phone, much less a smart one. It's very "old man yells at The Cloud" and cleans his network more often than his gutters. I speak freely for he avoids social media. I will prank him 🧵
October 30, 2025 at 7:18 AM
My father in law worked in tech systems and security for well over 40 years. He's never voluntarily carried a mobile phone, much less a smart one. It's very "old man yells at The Cloud" and cleans his network more often than his gutters. I speak freely for he avoids social media. I will prank him 🧵
My 3 year old was using a step stool to reach dangerous objects on high shelves. His mother is currently explaining that we aren't making exciting challenges, we're trying to stop him. I tried first but it just turned into a climbing safety lesson.
October 21, 2025 at 6:41 PM
My 3 year old was using a step stool to reach dangerous objects on high shelves. His mother is currently explaining that we aren't making exciting challenges, we're trying to stop him. I tried first but it just turned into a climbing safety lesson.
You ever think about the person who came up with the term "2% milk" to replace "slightly under 2/3 the fat of whole milk but now it tastes nasty"? Absolute marketing genius.
August 18, 2025 at 6:51 AM
You ever think about the person who came up with the term "2% milk" to replace "slightly under 2/3 the fat of whole milk but now it tastes nasty"? Absolute marketing genius.
I know this is how my wife sees most of my 3D printing misadventures because she quotes it when roasting me. She's very skilled in this way.
youtu.be/H8yQhXDquII?si=5CS8QlnMdKl9UPPW
youtu.be/H8yQhXDquII?si=5CS8QlnMdKl9UPPW
The Nozzle | The Venture Bros. | Adult Swim
YouTube video by Adult Swim
youtu.be
August 17, 2025 at 5:24 PM
I know this is how my wife sees most of my 3D printing misadventures because she quotes it when roasting me. She's very skilled in this way.
youtu.be/H8yQhXDquII?si=5CS8QlnMdKl9UPPW
youtu.be/H8yQhXDquII?si=5CS8QlnMdKl9UPPW
I think I'm locked in a perpetual battle of wits with myself and neither of us is winning. I try to be so darn clever and end up running headlong into another clever thing I was trying to do, in a thrilling game of cat & mouse & I am both. It was never Spy VS Spy. Just Spy going through some stuff.
August 11, 2025 at 7:19 PM
I think I'm locked in a perpetual battle of wits with myself and neither of us is winning. I try to be so darn clever and end up running headlong into another clever thing I was trying to do, in a thrilling game of cat & mouse & I am both. It was never Spy VS Spy. Just Spy going through some stuff.
I'd need to be convinced Legends of the Hidden Temple wasn't designed by someone with a toddler. Right now I'm thinking, "If he gets through the door he'll have to contend with the baby gate! He can go over or try to decode the latch!" and last night's ancient wisdom was "It's 2AM-go back to sleep!"
August 6, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I'd need to be convinced Legends of the Hidden Temple wasn't designed by someone with a toddler. Right now I'm thinking, "If he gets through the door he'll have to contend with the baby gate! He can go over or try to decode the latch!" and last night's ancient wisdom was "It's 2AM-go back to sleep!"
"Nvidia" sounds like a Roald Dahl character whose parents have given her at least one pony and adores cucumber sandwiches. This makes yelling at my computer a lot more fun.
"Nvidia Cashbury had endured a dreadful morning oblivious to the possibility it could have been entirely her own fault."
"Nvidia Cashbury had endured a dreadful morning oblivious to the possibility it could have been entirely her own fault."
August 4, 2025 at 5:21 PM
"Nvidia" sounds like a Roald Dahl character whose parents have given her at least one pony and adores cucumber sandwiches. This makes yelling at my computer a lot more fun.
"Nvidia Cashbury had endured a dreadful morning oblivious to the possibility it could have been entirely her own fault."
"Nvidia Cashbury had endured a dreadful morning oblivious to the possibility it could have been entirely her own fault."
I realized I use the wisdom of Roman leaders a lot in my parenting.
Tacticus: "If we all use the bathroom now, we won't have to stop playing later."
Marcus Aurelius: "Booboos are inevitable. We choose if we cry before or after we get a bandaid."
Julius Caesar: "It's always ok to say no to hugs."
Tacticus: "If we all use the bathroom now, we won't have to stop playing later."
Marcus Aurelius: "Booboos are inevitable. We choose if we cry before or after we get a bandaid."
Julius Caesar: "It's always ok to say no to hugs."
August 4, 2025 at 5:12 PM
I realized I use the wisdom of Roman leaders a lot in my parenting.
Tacticus: "If we all use the bathroom now, we won't have to stop playing later."
Marcus Aurelius: "Booboos are inevitable. We choose if we cry before or after we get a bandaid."
Julius Caesar: "It's always ok to say no to hugs."
Tacticus: "If we all use the bathroom now, we won't have to stop playing later."
Marcus Aurelius: "Booboos are inevitable. We choose if we cry before or after we get a bandaid."
Julius Caesar: "It's always ok to say no to hugs."
Pro tip: if you're the kind of bougie where you can afford both trees and professional maintenance, and also are planning a birthday party for 2-4 year old truck enthusiasts, I think know a fantastic way to schedule the best birthday party ever 😏
August 1, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Pro tip: if you're the kind of bougie where you can afford both trees and professional maintenance, and also are planning a birthday party for 2-4 year old truck enthusiasts, I think know a fantastic way to schedule the best birthday party ever 😏
I think the difference between "adventure" and "playtime" is risk. "Playtime on the high seas" is just going sailing and you know it. Maybe with a nice packed lunch - I'm not the boss of you. At most I'd remind you to wear sunscreen even on a cloudy day, and check the tides and wind beforehand. 🤷♂️
August 1, 2025 at 6:34 PM
I think the difference between "adventure" and "playtime" is risk. "Playtime on the high seas" is just going sailing and you know it. Maybe with a nice packed lunch - I'm not the boss of you. At most I'd remind you to wear sunscreen even on a cloudy day, and check the tides and wind beforehand. 🤷♂️
Reposted
As Carol waited for the pool boy to bring her second gin and tonic (where is he dammit), her mind drifted. “How the hell did I get like this. I was a jolly pup once.” Her drink arrived; a pleasantly numb fog was on just the other side of those ice cubes.
July 18, 2025 at 11:12 PM
As Carol waited for the pool boy to bring her second gin and tonic (where is he dammit), her mind drifted. “How the hell did I get like this. I was a jolly pup once.” Her drink arrived; a pleasantly numb fog was on just the other side of those ice cubes.
Today I was playing online chess and got asked if I was Russian. I replied if I was Russian with such a low rating they'd take away my pieces so they wouldn't get damaged in the fall.
July 13, 2025 at 5:56 AM
Today I was playing online chess and got asked if I was Russian. I replied if I was Russian with such a low rating they'd take away my pieces so they wouldn't get damaged in the fall.
I know the world is on fire but does anyone else long for an electric Crown Victoria? Seems like the torque and ease of repair would unite an as yet untapped cross section of nerds.
July 9, 2025 at 11:14 PM
I know the world is on fire but does anyone else long for an electric Crown Victoria? Seems like the torque and ease of repair would unite an as yet untapped cross section of nerds.
I think my problem (well, one of many) is that my best ideas usually come encased in a thick block of purest Art and extracting them is an absolute nightmare.
July 9, 2025 at 5:08 AM
I think my problem (well, one of many) is that my best ideas usually come encased in a thick block of purest Art and extracting them is an absolute nightmare.
Picking up my not-yet-3 year old for bedtime:
"Did you have fun with Grandpa?"
"Yes!"
"What did you do?"
"We looked for froggies!"
"That's nice!"
15 minutes later I remember that one of Grandpa's favorite after-dark hobbies is hunting invasive species of frogs with an improvised slingshot harpoon.
"Did you have fun with Grandpa?"
"Yes!"
"What did you do?"
"We looked for froggies!"
"That's nice!"
15 minutes later I remember that one of Grandpa's favorite after-dark hobbies is hunting invasive species of frogs with an improvised slingshot harpoon.
July 8, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Picking up my not-yet-3 year old for bedtime:
"Did you have fun with Grandpa?"
"Yes!"
"What did you do?"
"We looked for froggies!"
"That's nice!"
15 minutes later I remember that one of Grandpa's favorite after-dark hobbies is hunting invasive species of frogs with an improvised slingshot harpoon.
"Did you have fun with Grandpa?"
"Yes!"
"What did you do?"
"We looked for froggies!"
"That's nice!"
15 minutes later I remember that one of Grandpa's favorite after-dark hobbies is hunting invasive species of frogs with an improvised slingshot harpoon.
My eldest toddler just reached the point where he has an identifiable accent and it's like his first two languages were Romanian and Castilian Spanish. I have no idea why or how. My son is a Sacha Baron Cohen character. Aah. To be fair he is also wildly funny.
June 27, 2025 at 5:51 AM
My eldest toddler just reached the point where he has an identifiable accent and it's like his first two languages were Romanian and Castilian Spanish. I have no idea why or how. My son is a Sacha Baron Cohen character. Aah. To be fair he is also wildly funny.
Apparently audio engineers are now prohibited from traveling because sadly this does resemble many of my wedding photos.
This image is now absolutely everywhere over European media lmao
June 25, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Apparently audio engineers are now prohibited from traveling because sadly this does resemble many of my wedding photos.
If you need a brief distraction from your regularly scheduled doomscroll, think about the battle between the last of Crystal Waters's patience and the people who try to get her to round the percentage efficacy of antibacterial soap.
"So if it kills 99.99% of germs that's basically...?"
"NO!"
"So if it kills 99.99% of germs that's basically...?"
"NO!"
June 21, 2025 at 3:55 PM
If you need a brief distraction from your regularly scheduled doomscroll, think about the battle between the last of Crystal Waters's patience and the people who try to get her to round the percentage efficacy of antibacterial soap.
"So if it kills 99.99% of germs that's basically...?"
"NO!"
"So if it kills 99.99% of germs that's basically...?"
"NO!"
I'm starting to think that there aren't enough warnings for people who think it might be fun and useful to buy a 3D printer. 🧵
June 20, 2025 at 12:45 AM
I'm starting to think that there aren't enough warnings for people who think it might be fun and useful to buy a 3D printer. 🧵
I used to wonder how nuclear physicists in the 50s ended up doing dumb stuff that gave them nasty cancers but I just spent hours with my nose against the glass of my 3D printer (ostensibly to perfect the nozzle temp) looking like a deeply ambitious house cat during Shark Week...I get it. Poor guys.
June 18, 2025 at 2:58 AM
I used to wonder how nuclear physicists in the 50s ended up doing dumb stuff that gave them nasty cancers but I just spent hours with my nose against the glass of my 3D printer (ostensibly to perfect the nozzle temp) looking like a deeply ambitious house cat during Shark Week...I get it. Poor guys.
I try to speak like a normal person but phrases like "fill your cup to the armpit shrimp", while vital to toddler communication, adds an adjustment period when returning to adult communication. In this way I salute the mental fortitude of all the Kindergarten-range teachers out there.
June 16, 2025 at 5:56 PM
I try to speak like a normal person but phrases like "fill your cup to the armpit shrimp", while vital to toddler communication, adds an adjustment period when returning to adult communication. In this way I salute the mental fortitude of all the Kindergarten-range teachers out there.
Reposted
The existence of crafte beere doth implye the existence of scrapbooke beere.
June 16, 2025 at 4:24 AM
The existence of crafte beere doth implye the existence of scrapbooke beere.
There are currently ~1800 chess grandmasters. That means if I'm the world's 1799th greatest dad,
that's still GM tier - for many, an unattainable lifetime ambition. Plus I'm pretty sure the world's greatest dad has no clue who my kids are, whereas I'm here every day.
that's still GM tier - for many, an unattainable lifetime ambition. Plus I'm pretty sure the world's greatest dad has no clue who my kids are, whereas I'm here every day.
ME: *points at my "World's Greatest Dad" shirt*
CO-WORKER: *points at his own "World's Greatest Dad" shirt*
ME: *takes a sip from my "World's Greatest Dad" mug*
CO-WORKER: *sips from his own "World's Greatest Dad" mug*
ME: [eyes narrow] *draws "World's Greatest Dad" sword*
CO-WORKER: *points at his own "World's Greatest Dad" shirt*
ME: *takes a sip from my "World's Greatest Dad" mug*
CO-WORKER: *sips from his own "World's Greatest Dad" mug*
ME: [eyes narrow] *draws "World's Greatest Dad" sword*
June 15, 2025 at 9:21 PM
There are currently ~1800 chess grandmasters. That means if I'm the world's 1799th greatest dad,
that's still GM tier - for many, an unattainable lifetime ambition. Plus I'm pretty sure the world's greatest dad has no clue who my kids are, whereas I'm here every day.
that's still GM tier - for many, an unattainable lifetime ambition. Plus I'm pretty sure the world's greatest dad has no clue who my kids are, whereas I'm here every day.