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balconyshirts.co.uk
Balcony Shirts
@balconyshirts.co.uk
1K followers 460 following 1.1K posts
Shopkeepin’ it real. Posts by Scott.

You can order custom T-shirts and things online, here:
www.balconyshirts.co.uk

Or visit us:
52 Windsor St.
Uxbridge
UB8 1AB
Mon-Fri 9am-5pm
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balconyshirts.co.uk
The holiest of all the Christmas traditions.
A nearly empty purple Cadbury Heroes tub sits on a glass counter, containing only a small handful of individually wrapped chocolates in the centre. All Eclairs. Beneath the counter, various coloured spools of thread are visible. The background shows the entrance area of a shop with a dark door and worn floor.”
December 5, 2025 at 2:14 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
Mum! Mum! We’re in the Daily Expr… oh.
A screenshot of a Daily Express Facebook post dated 24 November. The headline reads “Tensions rising over asylum seekers” with a grimacing emoji. Below it is a street photo of a busy UK high street with people walking and cars passing. The buildings are old and close together, including the Queen’s Head pub on the right. A shop sign for Balcony Shirts in the middle of the street scene is circled in yellow. At the bottom of the post, a red banner headline says: “UK town ‘torn apart’ by illegal migration as it houses one in 10 asylum seekers.”
December 4, 2025 at 10:28 AM
balconyshirts.co.uk
Correct.
December 3, 2025 at 4:22 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
BALCONY SHIRTS BLACK FRIDAY MEGA-SALE-DEAL-BONANZA.

🔥No offers!
🔥No discounts!
🔥Nothing!
🔥Nada.
Literally nothing
November 28, 2025 at 10:31 AM
balconyshirts.co.uk
@mrjamesob.bsky.social Don’t have nightmares.
November 21, 2025 at 11:29 AM
balconyshirts.co.uk
One day I’ll stop finding this funny but that day is not today.
Someone from the Telegraph asking if they can use my picture that was taken in 2009 of the snow.
November 19, 2025 at 11:30 AM
balconyshirts.co.uk
Extraordinary scenes in Uxbridge as we’re under almost 6 inches of snow on Windsor Street. Never seen anything like it. #uksnow
Windsor Street in Uxbridge under a thick blanket of snow.
November 19, 2025 at 9:17 AM
balconyshirts.co.uk
They’ve changed the can. Is nothing sacred?
A can of Old Jamaica Ginger Beer
November 16, 2025 at 5:37 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
A four album run so devastating brilliant it defies belief. Todd Snider was an all-timer. Rest in peace and eternal thanks.
A Spotify screenshot showing a five album run from Todd Snider from 2000 to 2004. Happy To Be Here to East Nashville Skyline.
November 15, 2025 at 5:16 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
NO YOU GROW UP
November 13, 2025 at 10:03 AM
balconyshirts.co.uk
If you're from Uxbridge and you're not wearing the Dennis The Menace colourway Uxbridge FC scarf this winter you've really got to question your life choices. Available at the ground on match days or at www.uxbridgefcshop.co.uk
A red and black striped scarf with an embroidered Uxbridge FC badge A red and black striped scarf with an embroidered Uxbridge FC badge
November 6, 2025 at 9:58 AM
balconyshirts.co.uk
I felt like I needed to complete the story.
At the top, a box reads, “Thursday 30th October 2025 — A pigeon enters the shop.” The scene shows the inside of a small shop, with a man in glasses and a cap standing behind a counter. He wears a jacket over a T-shirt that partially reads “THE ACK.” On the counter sits a pigeon next to a computer monitor and keyboard. The man looks at the pigeon and says, “Hello… pigeon!” In the next panel, the pigeon flies toward him, wings spread wide, and says, “SQUARK! I would like a T-shirt please, a V-neck.” The same man looks blankly at the pigeon, now perched and speaking politely. He says, “We have to order in V-necks, so you’ll need to wait 2–3 days. If you’d like a crew neck T-shirt, we can do it for you straight away?” The pigeon replies calmly, “No, it’s fine. I’m happy to wait a few days. I’d prefer a V-neck.” At the bottom corner: the words “THE END.”
November 2, 2025 at 9:20 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
This is the story of when a pigeon came into our shop on Thursday
A hand-drawn comic page dated “Thursday 30th October 2025” titled “A Pigeon Enters the Shop.” In the first panel, a pigeon sits on a counter inside a T-shirt shop as a man in glasses and a cap looks at it, saying, “Hello… pigeon!” In the next panel, the pigeon spreads its wings mid-flight and says, “SQUARK! I would like a T-shirt please, a V-neck.” The artwork is detailed with cross-hatching and ink shading.
November 1, 2025 at 11:09 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
Couple of local sketches. Uxbridge / Hillingdon
Pen and wash sketch of Waterloo Road Uxbridge Pen and wash sketch of Windsor Avenue Hillingdon.
November 1, 2025 at 10:33 AM
balconyshirts.co.uk
We’ve put a QR code on the nape labels of our stuff because we are young, we run green, keep our teeth, nice and clean.
The nape label print of a printed sweatshirt from Baldony Shirts. It has a QR because we’re young cool and super hip.
October 31, 2025 at 1:59 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
A pigeon has flown in the shop.
A pigeon sitting on a computer in a t shirt shop in Uxbridge looking at Leigh.
October 30, 2025 at 3:52 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
It's our shop's 16th birthday tomorrow.
October 30, 2025 at 2:35 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
“We need a name for our own brand fish fingers”

“What sort of thing were you thinking?”

“Something that evokes feelings of the ocean or the sea?”

“I’ve got it!”
A photograph of “Ocean Sea” fish fingers from Lidl.
October 27, 2025 at 5:02 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
Next week our shop in Uxbridge is 16 years old. Incredible we've lasted that long and we are very grateful to all our customers over those years. We've actually been going for over 22 years now. That's just ridiculous. This is me and Chris when we were children.
A photo of two young indie upstarts.
October 24, 2025 at 3:57 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
We are designing a new nape print for our stuff. We are thinking about putting a QR code on it. Do you use QR codes? Is that a good idea or silly? Thank you for taking part in our free market research.
A printed nape for Balcony Shirts in Uxbridge
October 24, 2025 at 2:27 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
Spoiler alert: we really do have “two tier policing“ in this country and it’s about to kick in right about now.
Newspaper article stating that police are looking into claims that Prince Andrew may have done naughty naughty things.
October 20, 2025 at 6:39 AM
balconyshirts.co.uk
If anyone heard the story of my cat Benson getting a stick stuck up his nose on James O’Brien’s show on LBC earlier, this was the card I made for Mrs Balcony later that year.
October 15, 2025 at 5:20 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
I think I’ve made it less Dickensian now I’ve turned his drink into Fanta.
October 8, 2025 at 8:51 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
A salty old sea dog drawn with ye olde fountain pen and pot of ink on watercolour paper.
A pen and ink drawing of an old sea dog on watercolour paper.
October 2, 2025 at 7:43 PM
balconyshirts.co.uk
Jackson Lamb and some random sketchbook portraits. Sailor fude fountain pen and carbon ink. Bodged the nose a bit but you can’t rub it out innit. #SlowHorses
Pen and ink portraits of Jackson Lamb and 4 other random people.
September 28, 2025 at 6:11 PM