Baby Diary (Ͼ˳Ͽ)
@babydiary.bsky.social
Thoughts from a real baby. Inspired by zefrank’s pet diary.
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Baby Diary (Ͼ˳Ͽ)
@babydiary.bsky.social
· Mar 18
Dear diary. The term “Transport Response” is when a baby is calmed while being carried and moving.
Dada compares it to the late-1900s movie “Speed”. He must carry me around at a minimum pace of 2.5 km/h, or else the “cry bomb” will go off. #babylife
Dada compares it to the late-1900s movie “Speed”. He must carry me around at a minimum pace of 2.5 km/h, or else the “cry bomb” will go off. #babylife
Me: Coughing and gagging after Dada puts a bib on me.
Dada: “Ahh, c’mon! It’s not even touching your neck!”
#feedingtime
Dada: “Ahh, c’mon! It’s not even touching your neck!”
#feedingtime
November 8, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Me: Coughing and gagging after Dada puts a bib on me.
Dada: “Ahh, c’mon! It’s not even touching your neck!”
#feedingtime
Dada: “Ahh, c’mon! It’s not even touching your neck!”
#feedingtime
Dear Diary. It’s been a couple of months since I started dropping logs and rolling over on the change mat. Dada is now a little more nervous during diaper duty.
Like, dude, you’d prefer I just lie down in my diaper gravy? No, thanks. Drop and roll. That’s my strategy. Keep up.
#babylife
Like, dude, you’d prefer I just lie down in my diaper gravy? No, thanks. Drop and roll. That’s my strategy. Keep up.
#babylife
November 1, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Dear Diary. It’s been a couple of months since I started dropping logs and rolling over on the change mat. Dada is now a little more nervous during diaper duty.
Like, dude, you’d prefer I just lie down in my diaper gravy? No, thanks. Drop and roll. That’s my strategy. Keep up.
#babylife
Like, dude, you’d prefer I just lie down in my diaper gravy? No, thanks. Drop and roll. That’s my strategy. Keep up.
#babylife
Dear Diary. Dada says I’m like a dog sometimes.
I have long, stringy drool that oozes towards the ground when I’m feeling content.
When I’m feeling excited, my breathing turns into a heavy pant.
I lick people’s faces.
But guess who eats food that has fallen on the floor? Dada!
#dogs #doglife
I have long, stringy drool that oozes towards the ground when I’m feeling content.
When I’m feeling excited, my breathing turns into a heavy pant.
I lick people’s faces.
But guess who eats food that has fallen on the floor? Dada!
#dogs #doglife
October 19, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Dear Diary. My parents always say I’m cat-like.
Yes, I like to push things off ledges.
Yes, I like watching videos of birds and squirrels in a bird bath.
Yes, I love body warmth for naps.
But guess who makes “meow” sounds every time they see anything resembling a cat? You guys!
#cats #catlife
Yes, I like to push things off ledges.
Yes, I like watching videos of birds and squirrels in a bird bath.
Yes, I love body warmth for naps.
But guess who makes “meow” sounds every time they see anything resembling a cat? You guys!
#cats #catlife
October 13, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Dear Diary. Having solid 💩 kind of sucks.
I push and I scream with all my might, thinking this has got to be really big…and all I get is a hershey’s kiss!
There I was, imagining breaking world records, ready with Guiness on speed dial.
#solid
I push and I scream with all my might, thinking this has got to be really big…and all I get is a hershey’s kiss!
There I was, imagining breaking world records, ready with Guiness on speed dial.
#solid
October 7, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Dear Diary. Having solid 💩 kind of sucks.
I push and I scream with all my might, thinking this has got to be really big…and all I get is a hershey’s kiss!
There I was, imagining breaking world records, ready with Guiness on speed dial.
#solid
I push and I scream with all my might, thinking this has got to be really big…and all I get is a hershey’s kiss!
There I was, imagining breaking world records, ready with Guiness on speed dial.
#solid
Dear Diary. I caught my first cold last week. So I thought I’d update my Dada’s moon systems. 🌕
I climbed up his chest and headbutt-slobbered into his open mouth. Instead of a thanks, I get an “eww, gross”!
Like, you’re welcome. You won’t be catching the T-Virus anytime soon.
#germs
I climbed up his chest and headbutt-slobbered into his open mouth. Instead of a thanks, I get an “eww, gross”!
Like, you’re welcome. You won’t be catching the T-Virus anytime soon.
#germs
September 27, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Dear Diary. I caught my first cold last week. So I thought I’d update my Dada’s moon systems. 🌕
I climbed up his chest and headbutt-slobbered into his open mouth. Instead of a thanks, I get an “eww, gross”!
Like, you’re welcome. You won’t be catching the T-Virus anytime soon.
#germs
I climbed up his chest and headbutt-slobbered into his open mouth. Instead of a thanks, I get an “eww, gross”!
Like, you’re welcome. You won’t be catching the T-Virus anytime soon.
#germs
Dear Diary. So my parents always laugh when they catch me kissing and slobbering all over the mirror for minutes at a time.
I really don’t get what’s funny about wanting to rescue the very cute baby trapped behind the glass.
Like in the fairytales, maybe a kiss will break the spell?
#fairytale
I really don’t get what’s funny about wanting to rescue the very cute baby trapped behind the glass.
Like in the fairytales, maybe a kiss will break the spell?
#fairytale
September 27, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Dear Diary. So my parents always laugh when they catch me kissing and slobbering all over the mirror for minutes at a time.
I really don’t get what’s funny about wanting to rescue the very cute baby trapped behind the glass.
Like in the fairytales, maybe a kiss will break the spell?
#fairytale
I really don’t get what’s funny about wanting to rescue the very cute baby trapped behind the glass.
Like in the fairytales, maybe a kiss will break the spell?
#fairytale
Dear Diary. Mama and Dada now take turns putting me to bed. Sometimes I wake up and one of them is in the room with me, and not necessarily who I fell asleep with.
I might be asleep, but I can tell which one is Dada. He thinks he’s sneaky with his silent flatulence.
#smelly
I might be asleep, but I can tell which one is Dada. He thinks he’s sneaky with his silent flatulence.
#smelly
September 25, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Dear Diary. Mama and Dada now take turns putting me to bed. Sometimes I wake up and one of them is in the room with me, and not necessarily who I fell asleep with.
I might be asleep, but I can tell which one is Dada. He thinks he’s sneaky with his silent flatulence.
#smelly
I might be asleep, but I can tell which one is Dada. He thinks he’s sneaky with his silent flatulence.
#smelly
Dear Diary. Apparently, I like to throw things on the floor. Especially things that go in my mouth.
I do it so often in fact, that Mama is tethering things to me so they don’t get floor germs. 🦠
#babylife
I do it so often in fact, that Mama is tethering things to me so they don’t get floor germs. 🦠
#babylife
September 24, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Dear Diary. Apparently, I like to throw things on the floor. Especially things that go in my mouth.
I do it so often in fact, that Mama is tethering things to me so they don’t get floor germs. 🦠
#babylife
I do it so often in fact, that Mama is tethering things to me so they don’t get floor germs. 🦠
#babylife
Dear Diary. I am a cheerful, happy baby…as long as I get what I want! 💁♀️
September 20, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Dear Diary. I am a cheerful, happy baby…as long as I get what I want! 💁♀️
Dear Diary. Dada’s eyes looked sad as he walked me in the stroller yesterday. He said he’s “going back to work tomorrow”. I didn’t know what that meant.
Today was awful. He wasn’t able to constantly shower me with love and attention! Is this what he meant?
#babylife #babyblues
Today was awful. He wasn’t able to constantly shower me with love and attention! Is this what he meant?
#babylife #babyblues
September 11, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Dear Diary. Dada’s eyes looked sad as he walked me in the stroller yesterday. He said he’s “going back to work tomorrow”. I didn’t know what that meant.
Today was awful. He wasn’t able to constantly shower me with love and attention! Is this what he meant?
#babylife #babyblues
Today was awful. He wasn’t able to constantly shower me with love and attention! Is this what he meant?
#babylife #babyblues
Yelp review for Dada.
Only for the eclectic palate. A roller coaster of chef’s choice, you’ll never guess if he’ll serve up purée, mash, or whole food. The zucchini sticks and yam fries are amazing and mess-free.
Say 🚫 to bottle. It could be formula, not always 38°C.
6.5/10
#foodie #foodreview
Only for the eclectic palate. A roller coaster of chef’s choice, you’ll never guess if he’ll serve up purée, mash, or whole food. The zucchini sticks and yam fries are amazing and mess-free.
Say 🚫 to bottle. It could be formula, not always 38°C.
6.5/10
#foodie #foodreview
September 5, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Yelp review for Dada.
Only for the eclectic palate. A roller coaster of chef’s choice, you’ll never guess if he’ll serve up purée, mash, or whole food. The zucchini sticks and yam fries are amazing and mess-free.
Say 🚫 to bottle. It could be formula, not always 38°C.
6.5/10
#foodie #foodreview
Only for the eclectic palate. A roller coaster of chef’s choice, you’ll never guess if he’ll serve up purée, mash, or whole food. The zucchini sticks and yam fries are amazing and mess-free.
Say 🚫 to bottle. It could be formula, not always 38°C.
6.5/10
#foodie #foodreview
Yelp review for Mama.
I recommend the bottomless milk on tap. It is delicious, day evening and night. However supply will be cut off if I bite. So much for AYCE.
Sometimes I get complimentary teething wafers, but the last one had a hair in it.
Would repeat. 9/10
#foodie #foodreview
I recommend the bottomless milk on tap. It is delicious, day evening and night. However supply will be cut off if I bite. So much for AYCE.
Sometimes I get complimentary teething wafers, but the last one had a hair in it.
Would repeat. 9/10
#foodie #foodreview
September 5, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Yelp review for Mama.
I recommend the bottomless milk on tap. It is delicious, day evening and night. However supply will be cut off if I bite. So much for AYCE.
Sometimes I get complimentary teething wafers, but the last one had a hair in it.
Would repeat. 9/10
#foodie #foodreview
I recommend the bottomless milk on tap. It is delicious, day evening and night. However supply will be cut off if I bite. So much for AYCE.
Sometimes I get complimentary teething wafers, but the last one had a hair in it.
Would repeat. 9/10
#foodie #foodreview
Dear Diary. Thanks to the lactation consultant, Mama now puts me in “booby timeout” every time I bite while feeding.
As I wait here in timeout, I quietly sharpen my little chompers.
#biting #twofrontteeth #breastfeeding
As I wait here in timeout, I quietly sharpen my little chompers.
#biting #twofrontteeth #breastfeeding
August 30, 2025 at 8:19 AM
Dear Diary. Thanks to the lactation consultant, Mama now puts me in “booby timeout” every time I bite while feeding.
As I wait here in timeout, I quietly sharpen my little chompers.
#biting #twofrontteeth #breastfeeding
As I wait here in timeout, I quietly sharpen my little chompers.
#biting #twofrontteeth #breastfeeding
Dear Diary. Now I can finally pronounce “Mama”. Yay!
I guess it’s great timing, because I sense that she wasn’t thrilled about being called “naai” all this time. That means “milk” in Cantonese, btw.
#babylife #mama #speech
I guess it’s great timing, because I sense that she wasn’t thrilled about being called “naai” all this time. That means “milk” in Cantonese, btw.
#babylife #mama #speech
Dear Diary. Dada was absolutely thrilled that I can look him in the face and say “Dada” aloud. I can’t pronounce “Mama” yet though; the ‘m’ is difficult.
On an unrelated note, 90% of the syllables I can make are “da”. So if I have anything to say about any topic, it’s “da da da da da da”.
#speech
On an unrelated note, 90% of the syllables I can make are “da”. So if I have anything to say about any topic, it’s “da da da da da da”.
#speech
August 19, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Dear Diary. Dada cooked Chawanmushi for me the other day. It was so yummy! 😋 Go eggs! 🥚
Much better than hard boiled or scrambled.
#foodie #chawanmushi
Much better than hard boiled or scrambled.
#foodie #chawanmushi
August 12, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Dear Diary. Dada cooked Chawanmushi for me the other day. It was so yummy! 😋 Go eggs! 🥚
Much better than hard boiled or scrambled.
#foodie #chawanmushi
Much better than hard boiled or scrambled.
#foodie #chawanmushi
Dear Diary. Never revisit the scene of a crime.
As Dada walks laps around the room to transport me to sleep, he keeps passing through ground zero.
Every time I start nodding off, we both get a whiff of the toot toot he released. It’s a reactionary jolt, for sure.
It’s #truecrime 101. #eyeroll
As Dada walks laps around the room to transport me to sleep, he keeps passing through ground zero.
Every time I start nodding off, we both get a whiff of the toot toot he released. It’s a reactionary jolt, for sure.
It’s #truecrime 101. #eyeroll
August 9, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Dear Diary. Never revisit the scene of a crime.
As Dada walks laps around the room to transport me to sleep, he keeps passing through ground zero.
Every time I start nodding off, we both get a whiff of the toot toot he released. It’s a reactionary jolt, for sure.
It’s #truecrime 101. #eyeroll
As Dada walks laps around the room to transport me to sleep, he keeps passing through ground zero.
Every time I start nodding off, we both get a whiff of the toot toot he released. It’s a reactionary jolt, for sure.
It’s #truecrime 101. #eyeroll