corey.
@awkwardphaser.bsky.social
butcher. baker. candlestick maker.
I chimed in, haven't you people ever heard of washing your god damn hands?
August 2, 2025 at 12:03 PM
I chimed in, haven't you people ever heard of washing your god damn hands?
What's with THESE HOMIES dissing my SQUIRREL
June 4, 2025 at 3:57 PM
What's with THESE HOMIES dissing my SQUIRREL
I'm never not upset that Popeye's doesn't serve canned spinach, and I will die on this hill.
June 3, 2025 at 4:20 PM
I'm never not upset that Popeye's doesn't serve canned spinach, and I will die on this hill.
I get it, Mario, my princess is always in another castle.
February 26, 2025 at 3:01 AM
I get it, Mario, my princess is always in another castle.
Reposted by corey.
Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.
December 9, 2024 at 8:36 PM
Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.
Lucky Charms lore is really starting to pick up
January 25, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Lucky Charms lore is really starting to pick up
Can you see Final Fantasy III reflected in my glasses?
January 25, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Can you see Final Fantasy III reflected in my glasses?
Reposted by corey.
You know they make the blenders loud so you can't hear the fruit screaming.
December 2, 2024 at 1:33 AM
You know they make the blenders loud so you can't hear the fruit screaming.
C'mere let me show ya my knockers
January 25, 2025 at 1:08 AM
C'mere let me show ya my knockers
bobs AND vageen?? in THIS economy??
January 21, 2025 at 7:59 PM
bobs AND vageen?? in THIS economy??
Carrie Underwood: "Jesus, take the wheel!"
Jesus: - pulls plug on backing track
Jesus: - pulls plug on backing track
January 21, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Carrie Underwood: "Jesus, take the wheel!"
Jesus: - pulls plug on backing track
Jesus: - pulls plug on backing track
Reposted by corey.
You can't save the world, don't kill yourself trying.
November 24, 2024 at 10:36 PM
You can't save the world, don't kill yourself trying.
Dance like no one's gooning.
November 24, 2024 at 4:33 PM
Dance like no one's gooning.
According to my Tik Tok astrologer, I'm moving into my villain era so watch out fam.
November 20, 2024 at 6:32 PM
According to my Tik Tok astrologer, I'm moving into my villain era so watch out fam.
New movie franchise?
July 24, 2024 at 1:14 PM
New movie franchise?
Ladies and gentlemen, do not let your mothers invite Chappell Roan to their Long Beach house if it's casual now. This is a public service announcement.
*beep*
*beep*
July 8, 2024 at 12:28 PM
Ladies and gentlemen, do not let your mothers invite Chappell Roan to their Long Beach house if it's casual now. This is a public service announcement.
*beep*
*beep*
What are some video game characters too pure for this world?
July 8, 2024 at 2:57 AM
What are some video game characters too pure for this world?
I wish I loved anything as much as this damn fly loves taking a shit in my coffee.
July 5, 2024 at 1:36 PM
I wish I loved anything as much as this damn fly loves taking a shit in my coffee.
i can identify fire hydrants and bicycles, and therefore i am not a robot
beep bop boop
beep bop boop
June 30, 2024 at 3:24 PM
i can identify fire hydrants and bicycles, and therefore i am not a robot
beep bop boop
beep bop boop
Coldplay more like Oldplay ammirite haha send
June 30, 2024 at 1:27 PM
Coldplay more like Oldplay ammirite haha send
Reposted by corey.
Pokemon Go to your therapist's house unannounced
June 29, 2024 at 7:48 PM
Pokemon Go to your therapist's house unannounced
Reposted by corey.
Werner Herzog directing a Maybelline ad: Perhaps she is born with it. What a frightful notion, to be imbued with the fetters of capitalist commodification from birth. It suggests God Himself is a part of our dreadful pattern instead of a refuge from it.
June 29, 2024 at 2:31 PM
Werner Herzog directing a Maybelline ad: Perhaps she is born with it. What a frightful notion, to be imbued with the fetters of capitalist commodification from birth. It suggests God Himself is a part of our dreadful pattern instead of a refuge from it.
Send Biden and Trump to Dan Flashes and let them fight over the shirt with the most complicated pattern, and then I might tune in.
June 29, 2024 at 1:09 AM
Send Biden and Trump to Dan Flashes and let them fight over the shirt with the most complicated pattern, and then I might tune in.