Avril Paradis
@avril-paradis.bsky.social
High-saturation Goth, Former Cheesemonger, Systems Critic
Hahahaha what a fucking loser
September 1, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Hahahaha what a fucking loser
Told the legal assistants at work today "I got a new wig," and they were like "OMGGGG you wear a wig??" and I was like, "Let me finish my sentence. FOR HALLOWEEN."
August 15, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Told the legal assistants at work today "I got a new wig," and they were like "OMGGGG you wear a wig??" and I was like, "Let me finish my sentence. FOR HALLOWEEN."
Let's go crazy, Broadway-style!!!
August 8, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Let's go crazy, Broadway-style!!!
Scored a 12-pack of homemade tamales from Los Perez, aren't they gorgeous???
July 21, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Scored a 12-pack of homemade tamales from Los Perez, aren't they gorgeous???
Stopped at Wequiock Falls on the way back home from birthday weekend vacay in Door County
June 29, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Stopped at Wequiock Falls on the way back home from birthday weekend vacay in Door County
Lasik post-op Day 2: I just accidentally lightly bopped the top of my eyelid with my finger and now I'm scared my eyeball will fall out because I can feel it (my eyeball)
June 16, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Lasik post-op Day 2: I just accidentally lightly bopped the top of my eyelid with my finger and now I'm scared my eyeball will fall out because I can feel it (my eyeball)
I hope (more than usual) that I don't get tear gassed today - I had Lasik yesterday and don't want to find out what tear gas does to healing eyeballs 👀
June 14, 2025 at 12:59 PM
I hope (more than usual) that I don't get tear gassed today - I had Lasik yesterday and don't want to find out what tear gas does to healing eyeballs 👀
Bro didn't want to share the deck
June 7, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Bro didn't want to share the deck
I am, in many ways, a petty and small person
May 24, 2025 at 12:08 AM
I am, in many ways, a petty and small person
My butthole is about to be the most hygienic butthole in the Midwest
May 11, 2025 at 1:49 AM
My butthole is about to be the most hygienic butthole in the Midwest
Reposted by Avril Paradis
Oh wow Garfield is here
May 8, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Oh wow Garfield is here
A bug buzzed me while we were trying to take a nice picture of my pretty lepoard print dress
May 4, 2025 at 7:27 PM
A bug buzzed me while we were trying to take a nice picture of my pretty lepoard print dress
Reposted by Avril Paradis
Friendly next-door doggie Louis came to visit me and my cat Boris today. Boris was less thrilled than I was
April 26, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Friendly next-door doggie Louis came to visit me and my cat Boris today. Boris was less thrilled than I was
Took a trip to Chicago for a couple days and visited the Medieval Torture Museum
April 12, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Took a trip to Chicago for a couple days and visited the Medieval Torture Museum
Ben? Wyatt? Adam? Scott? Mark? Scout? How many first names does the man need?
March 11, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Ben? Wyatt? Adam? Scott? Mark? Scout? How many first names does the man need?
My favorite part of the show Severance so far, coming from a Russian literature buff with a certificate in Slavic Studies:
Spoiler (?)
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"The Death of Ivan Ilyich. Oh no, let me guess, he dies at the en-"
"HAI YAH!!!!" *breaks a chair over his head*
Spoiler (?)
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"The Death of Ivan Ilyich. Oh no, let me guess, he dies at the en-"
"HAI YAH!!!!" *breaks a chair over his head*
March 5, 2025 at 4:13 AM
My favorite part of the show Severance so far, coming from a Russian literature buff with a certificate in Slavic Studies:
Spoiler (?)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"The Death of Ivan Ilyich. Oh no, let me guess, he dies at the en-"
"HAI YAH!!!!" *breaks a chair over his head*
Spoiler (?)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"The Death of Ivan Ilyich. Oh no, let me guess, he dies at the en-"
"HAI YAH!!!!" *breaks a chair over his head*
Thinking about printing this off and putting it up on the door of my office at the prestigious downtown criminal defense law firm
March 2, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Thinking about printing this off and putting it up on the door of my office at the prestigious downtown criminal defense law firm
I've been getting a ton of use out of this meme lately
February 22, 2025 at 2:48 PM
I've been getting a ton of use out of this meme lately
Went for a terribly cold walk in 15 degree weather and arctic wind down the east side bike path the other day and noticed that someone had graffitied TURN OFF TV on every lane dash. The blue lettering looks satisfying against the yellow stripe
January 26, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Went for a terribly cold walk in 15 degree weather and arctic wind down the east side bike path the other day and noticed that someone had graffitied TURN OFF TV on every lane dash. The blue lettering looks satisfying against the yellow stripe
If I could choose any time/place to live, I'd choose to live in Paris in the 1850s because that's when all the best musicals take place
January 21, 2025 at 12:47 AM
If I could choose any time/place to live, I'd choose to live in Paris in the 1850s because that's when all the best musicals take place
This Pop-a-Razzi Punch, an alcoholic beverage garnished with Pop Rocks, intruiged me at the AMC Movie Theatre bar last night. I did not order it.
January 12, 2025 at 7:46 PM
This Pop-a-Razzi Punch, an alcoholic beverage garnished with Pop Rocks, intruiged me at the AMC Movie Theatre bar last night. I did not order it.
Every sandwich that I eat from Panera is more disgusting than the last
January 12, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Every sandwich that I eat from Panera is more disgusting than the last
Reposted by Avril Paradis
My last article of 2024: Carceral urbanism doesn't address the anti-city politics embedded in the U.S. that just doesn't exist to the same degree in Europe and Asia. American cities are constantly shit on, starved of funds and sabotaged by our own leaders.
open.substack.com/pub/darrello...
open.substack.com/pub/darrello...
Why American Cities (Actually) Suck
My response to Noah Smith's case for Carceral Urbanism explaining what actually ails U.S. cities and it's not primarily law enforcement.
open.substack.com
December 31, 2024 at 8:21 PM
My last article of 2024: Carceral urbanism doesn't address the anti-city politics embedded in the U.S. that just doesn't exist to the same degree in Europe and Asia. American cities are constantly shit on, starved of funds and sabotaged by our own leaders.
open.substack.com/pub/darrello...
open.substack.com/pub/darrello...