anyway maybe they did know about the MSG hoax and it's not that big of a deal, but somehow i find myself wanting to spare the reminder anyway. i'd rather they sleep well and think of happier things!

so it's a little empathy, and probably some improvement in communication and understanding as a result. a better parent-child relationship that i'm happy to treat gently for the remaining years of my parents' lives, rather than constantly fill with guilt and pain from the past as i very well could

it's strange wanting to protect my parents from emotional pain now when i was HAPPY to blame them for all of my problems as a teenager (as teens do) but with the passage of time, i grew up and realized how hard being an adult really was. i don't even HAVE kids and i'm overwhelmed all the time

because truly, i don't blame them! i love canada, and the one-child rule in china meant i wouldn't have even existed if they stayed. i respect their struggle more with every year that passes; my struggle to be accepted was valid too, but it wasn't their fault. it was systemic; built-in.

i often have to catch myself in a convo with my siblings where we'll be reflecting on the discrimination and hate we grew up in, and i have to make sure our parents aren't listening because how could it be anything but painful to realize your decision to immigrate put your kids through that?

ok. i need a walk. maybe a long walk. if i accomplish absolutely nothing else today i can at least say that i went on a walk.

this sort of shit is exactly why i'm trying to learn more about what is even going on in there but it's ironic that my psychological studies are exactly the thing that is being impeded. it's almost like there's a little adhd demon in here, aware of the target i've painted on it

nevermind your girl is not getting an autograph after realizing how much they cost... ai-kon spoils us SO bad by offering first item signed free 😭

man........ jyvk was soooo good though. if i DO think about it too long it fucks me up bigtime. i still can't believe they did that and it was allowed. GOD.

there was a GOOD block of time where all i did was read and think about jayvik but like everything else that isn't hkv the raging flames settled into a comfortable simmer that i think of fondly every now and then

ooh first time hearing about that one! kinda sounds like interac if it's accessible through your bank 🤔

oh damn... that sounds kinda like how things were here in the 90s-00s... ofc as a kid i didn't have much money to begin with but i remember mostly dealing with cash for small things! and then everyone was happy to adopt the e-transfer system by ~2010 (which did have a small fee in the early days)