Asstown Baker
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asstownbakery.bsky.social
Asstown Baker
@asstownbakery.bsky.social
3.6K followers 1.1K following 2.9K posts
Asstown resident and owner of the Asstown Bakery. One of these days I will jump through my own asshole. Anxious and sexy. I like fruity people and outdoor showers
Skeets: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaonwhdmx2o2
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asstownbakery.bsky.social
When people don’t buy my cards at the craft fair I think “omg why don’t you love beauty?” I’m sorry you suck
A hand holding a card I made. It’s my hand. It involves heat embossing, stamping, die cutting and ink blending and the card says “I’m sorry”
October 14, 2025 at 5:32 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
I made this card using mostly Kristina Werner products (the die cuts, stamps, etc) and Paper Source for the 4 bar card base and envelope
A card I made. The envelope is red. The background is rainbow with large dark black interlocking circles. There is a white die cut flower with a black outline. The sentiment says just saying hello on black paper with white embossing
August 20, 2025 at 5:56 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
This is the inside
Tim Robinson saying “That one birthday was 43 birthdays?”
July 28, 2025 at 5:18 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Everyone! here is my in progress I Think You Should Leave birthday card for my brother. It’s a reference to the Egg Game.
A drawing of the egg on I think you should leave on Netflix getting ready to pull his egg pants down and instead of saying “it’s got a bush what the hell” I am saying it’s got a birthday what the hell. Cause it’s a birthday card.
July 28, 2025 at 4:53 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
I love you, starfish
Overheard view of starfish in the Seward, Alaska aquarium touch tank
July 23, 2025 at 6:41 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
This edible has me wildin’ out with my searches
My internet search results of adult tap dance classes near me
July 22, 2025 at 4:53 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Rather accurate 🔥❤️🥰
Street taco flavored Pringles omg tasty
July 22, 2025 at 4:15 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Getting high and organizing my washi tape
A plastic container that has many rolls of beautiful washi tape, mostly in fall, Halloween, Christmas themes
May 18, 2025 at 4:16 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
I like when the cookies crowd together into a cookie Argus Array
Chocolate chip cookies I baked on a cookie sheet. They look like a delicious Argus Array
May 1, 2025 at 5:17 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
@jimmysideeye.bsky.social Thank you for supporting Girl Scouts and thank you for being my friend ❤️
Me and Side Eye Jimmy at a Girl Scout cookie booth where he bought 5 boxes like a champ 🔥
March 1, 2025 at 8:44 PM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Good enough
A watercolor of a dolphin poking a pufferfish with its nose in order to get high. The dolphin is loving it and the pufferfish is saying a swear.
February 22, 2025 at 11:52 PM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Mine’s so silly and dumb
Screenshot of my alarms set In appropriately 15 minute increments reminding me not to forget about Dre as in Dr. Dre
February 19, 2025 at 8:35 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Doing a little sketching then going to do some nice watercolor on this very important picture
I’ve got a piece of watercolor paper taped down on a mat and I am sketching. It’s a dolphin goosing a puffer fish right in his round white belly in order to get high. I want to paint this because I took an edible and this is very silly to me
February 18, 2025 at 5:34 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
I hella toasted and chopped the pecans myself
The cake batter where I am folding in grated carrots and a cup of toasted chopped pecans
February 17, 2025 at 7:27 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Real live grated rainbow carrots
3 cups of grated organic rainbow carrots in a Pyrex measuring cup on a gray kitchen counter top
February 17, 2025 at 7:26 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
I made my mom a carrot cake and it was good but “not as good as her cake” but she still found it acceptable and wtf mom, I worked really hard
A carrot cake with cream cheese frosting under a glass domed cake plate in my refrigerator. There is some butter hanging out next to it
February 17, 2025 at 7:15 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
The lady from I think you should leave saying “back away banana breath. What the hell did you just eat? A banana?”
February 12, 2025 at 6:33 PM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Oh hell yes 😍🔥
I stamped cherry blossoms on a white card and did two pretty washi tapes and a happy Valentine’s Day
February 8, 2025 at 6:10 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Holy shit this looks classy as fuck
I stamped in light pink a butterfly foliage orgy and a black ink Happy Valentines Day and I think it looks nice
February 8, 2025 at 6:00 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
I love these friggin Galentines they are so cute
The back of a pink envelope, size A6 I think and it has washi tape that says love love love and beautiful paper source Valentines paper
February 8, 2025 at 5:23 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Nay, Jonah get off my Galentines
My orangeish cat Jonah sitting on a pink Galentine I’m making
February 8, 2025 at 5:00 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Balls deep in making Galentines for my girlfriends
Pink card stock with washi tape that says “love” in red and pink and two fancy paper hearts pasted in the center. I’m in the middle of making a Galentine for my sister
February 6, 2025 at 6:52 PM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Good news everyone, I made gingerbread muffins.
12 freshly baked gingerbread muffins cooling on a wire rack on a gray kitchen counter
February 4, 2025 at 5:49 AM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
I’m expecting a gentleman caller tonight so I made a blackberry pie.
A blackberry pie resting on a wire rack on a kitchen counter. The top crust is a bunch of pie crust leaves and it’s been sprinkled with sugar before baking
January 25, 2025 at 9:51 PM
asstownbakery.bsky.social
Wine and Mario 2 bitches
I’m playing Mario 2 on NES and having some wine and this is showing the princess in world 2-2 in one of the sand levels digging for cherries and keys and what not
January 22, 2025 at 6:20 AM