Arithered
@arithered.bsky.social
Getting too old for AI and human Nazis alike. Father of Daughters. Aspiring author. Current teacher. Former hat rack. Current realistic cake.
Reposted by Arithered
Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair
December 8, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair
As fun as it is to watch MAGA splinter, which was inevitable, I wonder (and worry) about the re-energized radicals who will coalesce from the toxic runoff. When it's no longer enough to trust that your imbecile boy king will show favor to whomever paid him the most recent compliment, what's next?
December 8, 2025 at 12:29 PM
As fun as it is to watch MAGA splinter, which was inevitable, I wonder (and worry) about the re-energized radicals who will coalesce from the toxic runoff. When it's no longer enough to trust that your imbecile boy king will show favor to whomever paid him the most recent compliment, what's next?
Reposted by Arithered
i wish neil armstrong had brutally flubbed the moon landing line. that's one small step for moon. one small step ON moon. for a man. one giant man.. 's leap. one GIANT LEAP for moonkind. moon man. one giant moon for manmind. you can hear buzz rollin around in the lander, just howling
December 6, 2025 at 3:42 PM
i wish neil armstrong had brutally flubbed the moon landing line. that's one small step for moon. one small step ON moon. for a man. one giant man.. 's leap. one GIANT LEAP for moonkind. moon man. one giant moon for manmind. you can hear buzz rollin around in the lander, just howling
I am so sorry to hear that Quentin Tarantino is suffering from severe erectile dysfunction, and I hope he seeks the aid he needs to feel complete.
December 7, 2025 at 8:00 PM
I am so sorry to hear that Quentin Tarantino is suffering from severe erectile dysfunction, and I hope he seeks the aid he needs to feel complete.
Your Honor, nowhere in the state constitution does it say I *can't* start a meeting with "has everyone done their pees and poops."
December 3, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Your Honor, nowhere in the state constitution does it say I *can't* start a meeting with "has everyone done their pees and poops."
I am increasingly certain that Pete Hegseth's initial job offer was just "make believe you're a armyman" written in crayon, with checkboxes for "Y" and "N."
November 30, 2025 at 11:55 AM
I am increasingly certain that Pete Hegseth's initial job offer was just "make believe you're a armyman" written in crayon, with checkboxes for "Y" and "N."
One of my kookier opinions is that Presidents shouldn't be allowed to call for their opponents' executions, pls don't hate me
November 24, 2025 at 12:16 PM
One of my kookier opinions is that Presidents shouldn't be allowed to call for their opponents' executions, pls don't hate me
As is always the case, I'm sorry to hear about Marjorie Taylor Greene.
November 16, 2025 at 2:14 AM
As is always the case, I'm sorry to hear about Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Is it really that hard not to fly on a sex plane to statutory r*pe island, like what is the income level where this becomes hard
November 14, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Is it really that hard not to fly on a sex plane to statutory r*pe island, like what is the income level where this becomes hard
I think the reason Trump keeps ramming EOs through under guise of "emergency" is that, on a subconscious level, he is aware that his position of power is fundamentally the greatest goddamn emergency we've ever had.
November 5, 2025 at 4:12 PM
I think the reason Trump keeps ramming EOs through under guise of "emergency" is that, on a subconscious level, he is aware that his position of power is fundamentally the greatest goddamn emergency we've ever had.
Just gonna quickly buy this tempting jar of pickles and then head home to watch #WelcomeToDerry, E2, with my innocent snack close at hand
October 31, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Just gonna quickly buy this tempting jar of pickles and then head home to watch #WelcomeToDerry, E2, with my innocent snack close at hand
If you've never had to feed your family with SNAP benefits (food stamps), you likely have very little grasp of the onrushing storm of feces. These benefits aren't actually supplemental to many people, in spite of the "S" in SNAP; they are INDISPENSABLE. Soup kitchens *cannot* pick up the slack.>>
October 31, 2025 at 1:42 PM
If you've never had to feed your family with SNAP benefits (food stamps), you likely have very little grasp of the onrushing storm of feces. These benefits aren't actually supplemental to many people, in spite of the "S" in SNAP; they are INDISPENSABLE. Soup kitchens *cannot* pick up the slack.>>
I am asking with my entire soul to consult even ONE (1) Jewish person about whether or not a spoken liturgical language on a TV show is Yiddish or Hebrew. We don't even care about pronunciation. We won't pick any more nits, I swear. Just do this ONE thing for me. #WelcometoDerry
October 27, 2025 at 2:25 AM
I am asking with my entire soul to consult even ONE (1) Jewish person about whether or not a spoken liturgical language on a TV show is Yiddish or Hebrew. We don't even care about pronunciation. We won't pick any more nits, I swear. Just do this ONE thing for me. #WelcometoDerry
I don't we don't do public punishment anymore, but I wouldn't mind just a LIIIIITTLE bit of time in the stocks for certain Trumpworld figures? As a lil treat? If there's even a democracy left to salvage?
October 26, 2025 at 12:06 PM
I don't we don't do public punishment anymore, but I wouldn't mind just a LIIIIITTLE bit of time in the stocks for certain Trumpworld figures? As a lil treat? If there's even a democracy left to salvage?
It's hard to explain how French it is to have your crown jewels stolen in a daring heist.
October 26, 2025 at 11:57 AM
It's hard to explain how French it is to have your crown jewels stolen in a daring heist.
The only Biblical quality of this POTUS is probably the detached hand writing dire prophecies on the walls of his golden ballroom.
October 23, 2025 at 10:10 AM
The only Biblical quality of this POTUS is probably the detached hand writing dire prophecies on the walls of his golden ballroom.
Evergreen
We'll have a government again once we reach a treaty that our imbecile boy king's most trusted handlers can pass off as a win for him, so what are you so worried about
October 22, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Evergreen
Reposted by Arithered
i still can’t believe that my senior class voted me “least likely to let things go”
March 19, 2024 at 10:03 PM
i still can’t believe that my senior class voted me “least likely to let things go”
Me: [lighting a pipe] You need to know that there were THREE bakers at first: Wendell, Bob, and Quello. No one knew why Wendell went solo for so long, until the day he...
[Jarring sting, single frame of a cereal square eating another cereal square]
...hwell we don't rightly know HWHAT he did
[Jarring sting, single frame of a cereal square eating another cereal square]
...hwell we don't rightly know HWHAT he did
October 20, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Me: [lighting a pipe] You need to know that there were THREE bakers at first: Wendell, Bob, and Quello. No one knew why Wendell went solo for so long, until the day he...
[Jarring sting, single frame of a cereal square eating another cereal square]
...hwell we don't rightly know HWHAT he did
[Jarring sting, single frame of a cereal square eating another cereal square]
...hwell we don't rightly know HWHAT he did
Reposted by Arithered
Overheard someone hiss into their phone, “I realize that, but I cannot miss Theodore’s bassoon recital,” and now I have a new catch-all excuse
February 21, 2024 at 7:38 PM
Overheard someone hiss into their phone, “I realize that, but I cannot miss Theodore’s bassoon recital,” and now I have a new catch-all excuse
Reposted by Arithered
Me: I know pantyhose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone
Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, it is
Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, it is
January 19, 2025 at 7:21 AM
Me: I know pantyhose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone
Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, it is
Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, it is
I understand some people on the internet have Thoughts about me yelling TRY THE VEAL at the end of my set at the cannibal island comedypalooza, but isn't comedy really just about humans being human if you zoom waaaaaay out
October 12, 2025 at 2:37 AM
I understand some people on the internet have Thoughts about me yelling TRY THE VEAL at the end of my set at the cannibal island comedypalooza, but isn't comedy really just about humans being human if you zoom waaaaaay out
Praying we all remember Mo Willems' prescient work about the dangers of AI.
October 9, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Praying we all remember Mo Willems' prescient work about the dangers of AI.
Ok no one laugh at me in case I'm wrong, but I'm starting to think that song "Shoop" is about sex
October 9, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Ok no one laugh at me in case I'm wrong, but I'm starting to think that song "Shoop" is about sex
We'll have a government again once we reach a treaty that our imbecile boy king's most trusted handlers can pass off as a win for him, so what are you so worried about
October 1, 2025 at 11:33 AM
We'll have a government again once we reach a treaty that our imbecile boy king's most trusted handlers can pass off as a win for him, so what are you so worried about