This whole section really.

Okay, that's legitimately confusing without any context. Why'd you post this?

I should clarify, this is my second ~historical~ model, I've painted miniatures for games before 🙂

👀

Isn't it awful how our brains will double-down when we're struggling by heaping shame on top? 🫂 As the saying goes, it's okay to not be okay. (Especially with the state of the world now 😬)

Wow, it's like House of Leaves 😅

So instead I just feel really angry towards the branch of christianity that I was raised in. I want to embrace what they view as evil because it makes me feel good. So that's why I vibe with satanism, even though I'm not aligned with LaVeyan satanism ideologically. (6/6)

So I've come to feel that even god was real, if the concept of hell that I was raised with was also real, then the only ethically correct thing to do is to rebel against any god that would doom a soul to hell, because that god would be evil. But I don't believe in god. (5/?)

I'm sure more sensible christians don't believe in hell, but it was a pretty core part of the narrative I was raised with. As I've become an atheist over a decade ago, and started to look more honestly at how I was raised, hell feels sickeningly wrong. (4/?)

Like, as a trans woman and an atheist and a leftist, I'm gonna be called all manner of satanic and defying god and stuff like that, so I'm gonna lean into it a little bit. My friends and I might do a satanic ritual or something because it feels good to rebel against christianity. (3/?)

So it feels really good to spit on that religion by embracing a form of satanism. I know not all christians are bad like conservatives/evangelicals, but my experience really taints the whole thing for me. (2/?)