Tom Thaxton
@aphidlion.bsky.social
Bookkeeping, Adult Swim...I'm thinking of a third, just give me a minute...Steely Dan? PDX
"I think...they tell me that she was a monkey? Or she was very monkey, but either way she was a Good All around person, or woman, or monkey." DJT, tomorrow, probably
October 2, 2025 at 6:23 AM
"I think...they tell me that she was a monkey? Or she was very monkey, but either way she was a Good All around person, or woman, or monkey." DJT, tomorrow, probably
JFK is going to look like a cut and dry Perry Mason episode compared to the level of conspiratorial nonsense were about to endure for the next 50 years, no matter how it happens.
August 24, 2025 at 7:41 PM
JFK is going to look like a cut and dry Perry Mason episode compared to the level of conspiratorial nonsense were about to endure for the next 50 years, no matter how it happens.
Dear Progressive, State Farm, GEICO, and Liberty Mutual: we are all, as a people, well aware of the concept of bundling insurance policies.
You can stop advertising it like you've discovered fire.
You can stop advertising it like you've discovered fire.
July 14, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Dear Progressive, State Farm, GEICO, and Liberty Mutual: we are all, as a people, well aware of the concept of bundling insurance policies.
You can stop advertising it like you've discovered fire.
You can stop advertising it like you've discovered fire.
Reposted by Tom Thaxton
Indiana Jones: (picks up insulated mug with “measure twice, cuss once” printed on it in Comic Sans) This is the cup of a carpenter.
May 11, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Indiana Jones: (picks up insulated mug with “measure twice, cuss once” printed on it in Comic Sans) This is the cup of a carpenter.
Gloria Deo et tomacula
May 9, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Gloria Deo et tomacula
And another one bites the dust - SafeSend aquired by Thomson.
January 2, 2025 at 4:02 PM
And another one bites the dust - SafeSend aquired by Thomson.
Ending the new year the old fashioned way - fighting with my kids about who would win in a fist fight between Lady Gaga and Sia (Sia would beat the shit out of her, for the record)
January 1, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Ending the new year the old fashioned way - fighting with my kids about who would win in a fist fight between Lady Gaga and Sia (Sia would beat the shit out of her, for the record)
The first four tracks off Ambrosia's self-titled album are ridiculously good
December 29, 2024 at 11:22 PM
The first four tracks off Ambrosia's self-titled album are ridiculously good
Well, nuts. Xmas Eve in the hospital with mom after a fall.
December 25, 2024 at 7:29 AM
Well, nuts. Xmas Eve in the hospital with mom after a fall.
The Target wall of gift cards to regional locations which DO NOT EXIST IN MY REGION is bonkers bananas
December 24, 2024 at 1:17 AM
The Target wall of gift cards to regional locations which DO NOT EXIST IN MY REGION is bonkers bananas
What scary ghost stories do you tell at Christmas?
December 23, 2024 at 10:24 PM
What scary ghost stories do you tell at Christmas?
Steely Dan - Katy Lied
Failure - Fantasic Planet
Radiohead - OK Computer
Ben Folds - Rockin the Suburbs
The Shins - Port of Morrow
Fountains of Wayne - Traffic and Weather
Failure - Fantasic Planet
Radiohead - OK Computer
Ben Folds - Rockin the Suburbs
The Shins - Port of Morrow
Fountains of Wayne - Traffic and Weather
once again asking for people’s 10/10 albums
December 13, 2024 at 7:57 AM
Steely Dan - Katy Lied
Failure - Fantasic Planet
Radiohead - OK Computer
Ben Folds - Rockin the Suburbs
The Shins - Port of Morrow
Fountains of Wayne - Traffic and Weather
Failure - Fantasic Planet
Radiohead - OK Computer
Ben Folds - Rockin the Suburbs
The Shins - Port of Morrow
Fountains of Wayne - Traffic and Weather
Pick a tv show, keep one actor. the rest are muppets
The West Wing
Allison Janney stays
The West Wing
Allison Janney stays
pick a tv show, keep one actor. the rest are muppets
home movies
coach mcguirk stays
home movies
coach mcguirk stays
Pick a TV show, keep one actor. The rest are muppets.
The Prisoner
Patrick McGoohan stays.
The Prisoner
Patrick McGoohan stays.
December 5, 2024 at 7:44 AM
Pick a tv show, keep one actor. the rest are muppets
The West Wing
Allison Janney stays
The West Wing
Allison Janney stays
Seeing my 14yo shirking his chores and playing GTA on the couch *sniff* just like his daddy before him
December 1, 2024 at 4:29 AM
Seeing my 14yo shirking his chores and playing GTA on the couch *sniff* just like his daddy before him
Going to start referring to X as OnlyEnemies
November 30, 2024 at 4:48 AM
Going to start referring to X as OnlyEnemies
My morning commute? You mean those 25 minutes each day when I remember every embarrassing thing I did in the 7th grade?
November 29, 2024 at 6:10 PM
My morning commute? You mean those 25 minutes each day when I remember every embarrassing thing I did in the 7th grade?
Well, there was more heated dominos competition and Malört this year than expected, but a fine Thanksgiving!
November 29, 2024 at 4:43 AM
Well, there was more heated dominos competition and Malört this year than expected, but a fine Thanksgiving!
All I want for Christmas this year is for whoever invented this to experience discomfort
November 28, 2024 at 8:28 PM
All I want for Christmas this year is for whoever invented this to experience discomfort
My 14yo son: I wanna live in the 90s, this is stupid
November 28, 2024 at 12:43 AM
My 14yo son: I wanna live in the 90s, this is stupid
show me a picture on your phone that has your energy but isn’t a selfie
November 27, 2024 at 10:55 PM
show me a picture on your phone that has your energy but isn’t a selfie
FINALLY got season tickets for @hillsborohops.bsky.social this year! So excited for this season.
November 27, 2024 at 6:26 AM
FINALLY got season tickets for @hillsborohops.bsky.social this year! So excited for this season.
I have discovered that frosting a cake is MUCH harder than it looks on TV, and I SHANT be doing it again.
November 24, 2024 at 11:42 PM
I have discovered that frosting a cake is MUCH harder than it looks on TV, and I SHANT be doing it again.
So wait - do kids say they're "rolling for rizz" in D&D now?
November 23, 2024 at 3:52 AM
So wait - do kids say they're "rolling for rizz" in D&D now?
Triple feature idea:
The Phantom
The Rocketeer
The Shadow
The Phantom
The Rocketeer
The Shadow
November 17, 2024 at 5:40 AM
Triple feature idea:
The Phantom
The Rocketeer
The Shadow
The Phantom
The Rocketeer
The Shadow
Ten bands/artists to get to know me in no particular order:
Steely Dan
The Shins
Fountains Of Wayne
Elbow
Genesis
Talking Heads
Rush
Jimmy Smith
Run The Jewels
Air
Steely Dan
The Shins
Fountains Of Wayne
Elbow
Genesis
Talking Heads
Rush
Jimmy Smith
Run The Jewels
Air
November 17, 2024 at 2:40 AM
Ten bands/artists to get to know me in no particular order:
Steely Dan
The Shins
Fountains Of Wayne
Elbow
Genesis
Talking Heads
Rush
Jimmy Smith
Run The Jewels
Air
Steely Dan
The Shins
Fountains Of Wayne
Elbow
Genesis
Talking Heads
Rush
Jimmy Smith
Run The Jewels
Air