Headlines & Punchlines
@anonymoussource.bsky.social
Fake news? Nah, real sarcasm. We all know the importance of building a following from scratch so please follow if you like my thoughts. I promise to do the same.
trump Health By the Numbers
Two “routine” physicals in 8 months.
At his second “routine” physical he was given another cognitive exam AND a MRI - because that’s also just routine.
trump 🧠 = 💩
Two “routine” physicals in 8 months.
At his second “routine” physical he was given another cognitive exam AND a MRI - because that’s also just routine.
trump 🧠 = 💩
October 27, 2025 at 7:08 PM
trump Health By the Numbers
Two “routine” physicals in 8 months.
At his second “routine” physical he was given another cognitive exam AND a MRI - because that’s also just routine.
trump 🧠 = 💩
Two “routine” physicals in 8 months.
At his second “routine” physical he was given another cognitive exam AND a MRI - because that’s also just routine.
trump 🧠 = 💩
The only thing more delicious than trump being (rightfully) overlooked for a Nobel is the whining maga community shedding tears about trump not getting a Nobel.
October 10, 2025 at 8:01 PM
The only thing more delicious than trump being (rightfully) overlooked for a Nobel is the whining maga community shedding tears about trump not getting a Nobel.
trump doesn’t win an election … says it was rigged.
Isn’t awarded a Nobel … says politics are to blame.
Anyone else starting to see a pattern here? 🤔
Isn’t awarded a Nobel … says politics are to blame.
Anyone else starting to see a pattern here? 🤔
October 10, 2025 at 5:41 PM
trump doesn’t win an election … says it was rigged.
Isn’t awarded a Nobel … says politics are to blame.
Anyone else starting to see a pattern here? 🤔
Isn’t awarded a Nobel … says politics are to blame.
Anyone else starting to see a pattern here? 🤔
800 people attended that meeting and Hegseth was the 801st most qualified to lead it.
October 2, 2025 at 2:28 PM
800 people attended that meeting and Hegseth was the 801st most qualified to lead it.
There’s nobody happier about the government shutdown than Pete Hegseth - because it takes the focus off the disastrous speech he gave yesterday.
#FAFO #TotalCringe #DUIHire
#FAFO #TotalCringe #DUIHire
October 1, 2025 at 4:52 PM
There’s nobody happier about the government shutdown than Pete Hegseth - because it takes the focus off the disastrous speech he gave yesterday.
#FAFO #TotalCringe #DUIHire
#FAFO #TotalCringe #DUIHire
HOURS after Russian jets violated Estonian airspace (a direct challenge to NATO) trump was asked about it and said he didn’t want to comment b/c he hadn’t yet been briefed. But ask him about the ballroom he’s building and he’ll tell you the Pantone numbers for the curtains he’s putting in.
September 20, 2025 at 4:19 PM
HOURS after Russian jets violated Estonian airspace (a direct challenge to NATO) trump was asked about it and said he didn’t want to comment b/c he hadn’t yet been briefed. But ask him about the ballroom he’s building and he’ll tell you the Pantone numbers for the curtains he’s putting in.
Another dismal jobs report for America and the trump administration. Does this mean former chief statistician of the BLS Erika McEntarfer can have her job back? Or is the new person getting fired too?
September 5, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Another dismal jobs report for America and the trump administration. Does this mean former chief statistician of the BLS Erika McEntarfer can have her job back? Or is the new person getting fired too?
Well, it’s been at least three weeks since JD Vance took his family on a vacation. Time for another one.
August 25, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Well, it’s been at least three weeks since JD Vance took his family on a vacation. Time for another one.
At this point, given the terrible news for the economy, there’s a good chance trump might finally release the Epstein files just to distract us.
August 14, 2025 at 4:55 PM
At this point, given the terrible news for the economy, there’s a good chance trump might finally release the Epstein files just to distract us.
Reposted by Headlines & Punchlines
Apparently JD Vance likes to vacation every month.
Skiing in Vermont with the family
Site seeing with his wife in Greenland
Disneyland with the family
Nantucket getaway with the wife
Ohio river rafting for his Birthday
Currently in the English countryside with his family
Skiing in Vermont with the family
Site seeing with his wife in Greenland
Disneyland with the family
Nantucket getaway with the wife
Ohio river rafting for his Birthday
Currently in the English countryside with his family
August 13, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Apparently JD Vance likes to vacation every month.
Skiing in Vermont with the family
Site seeing with his wife in Greenland
Disneyland with the family
Nantucket getaway with the wife
Ohio river rafting for his Birthday
Currently in the English countryside with his family
Skiing in Vermont with the family
Site seeing with his wife in Greenland
Disneyland with the family
Nantucket getaway with the wife
Ohio river rafting for his Birthday
Currently in the English countryside with his family
Today Karoline Leavitt said it’s ‘The Hope’ that the trump admin will keep releasing jobs reports under new labor stats chief. How about the Epstein files? Will those be released?
August 12, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Today Karoline Leavitt said it’s ‘The Hope’ that the trump admin will keep releasing jobs reports under new labor stats chief. How about the Epstein files? Will those be released?
It would be great if the FBI was even 1/5 as involved in locating the Epstein files as they are in the Texas Democratic Lawmakers.
August 10, 2025 at 4:28 PM
It would be great if the FBI was even 1/5 as involved in locating the Epstein files as they are in the Texas Democratic Lawmakers.
trump is now talking about changing the census to exclude undocumented immigrants because he’s in the Epstein files
August 7, 2025 at 8:10 PM
trump is now talking about changing the census to exclude undocumented immigrants because he’s in the Epstein files
Bad jobs report? Fire the head of Bureau of Labor and Statistics. This is the logic from the moron who once said “if we stop testing right now, we’d have very few cases, if any” during the height of the COVID outbreak.
America deserves so much better.
America deserves so much better.
August 1, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Bad jobs report? Fire the head of Bureau of Labor and Statistics. This is the logic from the moron who once said “if we stop testing right now, we’d have very few cases, if any” during the height of the COVID outbreak.
America deserves so much better.
America deserves so much better.
DOJ now set to meet with Ghislaine Maxwell about Epstein files. Get ready for the biggest sweetheart deal Bondi has ever given since the sweetheart deal she gave Epstein when she was FL attorney general.
July 22, 2025 at 2:07 PM
DOJ now set to meet with Ghislaine Maxwell about Epstein files. Get ready for the biggest sweetheart deal Bondi has ever given since the sweetheart deal she gave Epstein when she was FL attorney general.
LET GHISLAINE MAXWELL TESTIFY BEFORE CONGRESS
(Pssst… pass it on)
(Pssst… pass it on)
July 21, 2025 at 10:37 PM
LET GHISLAINE MAXWELL TESTIFY BEFORE CONGRESS
(Pssst… pass it on)
(Pssst… pass it on)
trump is now urging the NFL and the owners of the Washington Commanders to bring back the "Redskins" name because he’s on Epstein’s List.
July 20, 2025 at 4:27 PM
trump is now urging the NFL and the owners of the Washington Commanders to bring back the "Redskins" name because he’s on Epstein’s List.
Maybe 60 Minutes can do a segment on how the feckless spineless executives at cbs /paramount cancelled Colbert.
July 19, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Maybe 60 Minutes can do a segment on how the feckless spineless executives at cbs /paramount cancelled Colbert.
Reposted by Headlines & Punchlines
ATTN: If you’re one of the 1,000 FBI agents who reviewed the Epstein files, feel free to reach out to me via signal (in my bio). I’ll keep you anonymous- as I have the thousands of current and former federal workers who have sent me tips. Please share this widely. 🙏🏻
July 19, 2025 at 7:51 PM
ATTN: If you’re one of the 1,000 FBI agents who reviewed the Epstein files, feel free to reach out to me via signal (in my bio). I’ll keep you anonymous- as I have the thousands of current and former federal workers who have sent me tips. Please share this widely. 🙏🏻
Keeping score
July 17, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Keeping score
Newsom FTW!
July 17, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Newsom FTW!
All we know for sure is that FBI Director Kash Patel looks shocked to learn Epstein committed suicide and never kept a client list.
July 11, 2025 at 5:07 PM
All we know for sure is that FBI Director Kash Patel looks shocked to learn Epstein committed suicide and never kept a client list.
So was Fox News contributor Dan Bongino lying for years when he said there was an Epstein list and Epstein DIDN’T commit suicide or is FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino lying now when he says there is no list and Epstein definitely committed suicide. 🤔
July 11, 2025 at 5:03 PM
So was Fox News contributor Dan Bongino lying for years when he said there was an Epstein list and Epstein DIDN’T commit suicide or is FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino lying now when he says there is no list and Epstein definitely committed suicide. 🤔