Sorry sorry it’s my kids they were on one tonight

Our Franciscans in particular want an authentic Polish sausage from a market in Chicago 😂

I understand I am below this generation’s average of 5’6”ish, but I actually was average height when I was a teen, it just slowly goes up an inch or two every couple generations. Give it 300 years and everyone will be caught up to you 😂

This seems directly aimed at @howlingsquall.bsky.social calling everyone short 💀

Putting my mom back in a car seat 💀

I *think* it’s all figured out and I also found out Dan still qualifies for Medicaid as a secondary insurance, so that will actually lower our medical bills too

You are truly the sweetest most precious of humans

Yeah, helpmeet is like, don’t be a jerk and block their dreams, not, you do their dreams now to your own detriment while they play video games. For example

Overheard today: if you have a grown up kid, you are old, like mom

Incensed five year old: Mom is not old!

Buying my champion a lil treat 😂

Thank you for this!

You have to wait 8 hours before you can cancel an order and you don’t have an option to contact the store, only the driver and I’m not confronting a stranger who has my address, so I wonder how many orders he can pick up in that 8 hours before they figure it out 🫠

His 14 year old daughter playing to him in the hospital has me sobbing

To induce the sleep deprivation psychosis faster in parents, I guess 💀