Amy Malkoff
@amalkoff.bsky.social
Pithy takes on: music • me • politics • comedy • pop culture • science. My anonymous handle just happens to also be my real name.
It's the Week Of A Million Medical Appointments™! Wherein I wish I could be one of those "I haVEn'T BEEN TO a doctOR in 15 YEArs!" dudes (for they are almost always dudes). Last one this week: trying to solve a mystery
November 13, 2025 at 3:48 PM
It's the Week Of A Million Medical Appointments™! Wherein I wish I could be one of those "I haVEn'T BEEN TO a doctOR in 15 YEArs!" dudes (for they are almost always dudes). Last one this week: trying to solve a mystery
It's the Week Of A Million Medical Appointments™! Wherein I wish I could be one of those "I haVEn'T BEEN TO a doctOR in 15 YEArs!" dudes (for they are almost always dudes). Last one today: ENT telemed, and I sent my representative
November 11, 2025 at 11:10 PM
It's the Week Of A Million Medical Appointments™! Wherein I wish I could be one of those "I haVEn'T BEEN TO a doctOR in 15 YEArs!" dudes (for they are almost always dudes). Last one today: ENT telemed, and I sent my representative
It's the Week Of A Million Medical Appointments™! Wherein I wish I could be one of those "I haVEn'T BEEN TO a doctOR in 15 YEArs!" dudes (for they are almost always dudes). Next: neurology with a view
November 11, 2025 at 3:42 PM
It's the Week Of A Million Medical Appointments™! Wherein I wish I could be one of those "I haVEn'T BEEN TO a doctOR in 15 YEArs!" dudes (for they are almost always dudes). Next: neurology with a view
It's the Week Of A Million Medical Appointments™! Wherein I wish I could be one of those "I haVEn'T BEEN TO a doctOR in 15 YEArs!" dudes (for they are almost always dudes). First up: teeth cleaning (and amazingly, no new issues!)
November 10, 2025 at 5:15 PM
It's the Week Of A Million Medical Appointments™! Wherein I wish I could be one of those "I haVEn'T BEEN TO a doctOR in 15 YEArs!" dudes (for they are almost always dudes). First up: teeth cleaning (and amazingly, no new issues!)
Just realized that my new sweater looks a lot like my favorite pillows. Well, I'm consistent. 🤷🏼
November 9, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Just realized that my new sweater looks a lot like my favorite pillows. Well, I'm consistent. 🤷🏼
I'd love if you checked out the things I've created and maybe get a lil' something for yourself or a friend, or share my Etsy link (in comments). I also make things custom. www.etsy.com/shop/TinType...
October 29, 2025 at 12:31 AM
I'd love if you checked out the things I've created and maybe get a lil' something for yourself or a friend, or share my Etsy link (in comments). I also make things custom. www.etsy.com/shop/TinType...
"Fantasy Pumpkins" is my new band name
October 28, 2025 at 1:22 AM
"Fantasy Pumpkins" is my new band name
I ordered something yesterday that is set to arrive today...coming from the Salem post office. Godspeed, intrepid postal delivery person, driving through Salem on a weekend in October.
October 12, 2025 at 3:59 PM
I ordered something yesterday that is set to arrive today...coming from the Salem post office. Godspeed, intrepid postal delivery person, driving through Salem on a weekend in October.
I'd like to extend a hearty f you to the "I'm tired of warmth!" screechers. Y'all must be thrilled with today's turn of events.
October 10, 2025 at 12:01 PM
I'd like to extend a hearty f you to the "I'm tired of warmth!" screechers. Y'all must be thrilled with today's turn of events.
You need a kitty/fish strainer
October 6, 2025 at 11:54 PM
You need a kitty/fish strainer
I was just at a store looking at greeting cards and every card with a cat on it had a "cats are punitive aholes" type of lazy joke. We've really leaned into that garbage, haven't we? [these two beg to differ, and so do I]
October 5, 2025 at 7:15 PM
I was just at a store looking at greeting cards and every card with a cat on it had a "cats are punitive aholes" type of lazy joke. We've really leaned into that garbage, haven't we? [these two beg to differ, and so do I]
It's an October miracle! <angels singing 👼>
October 1, 2025 at 9:38 AM
It's an October miracle! <angels singing 👼>
If you were craving green ghost milk, here ya go
September 29, 2025 at 9:56 PM
If you were craving green ghost milk, here ya go
Why be a predatory ahole? Don't you have anything better to do?
September 29, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Why be a predatory ahole? Don't you have anything better to do?
Here's my Heny today
September 27, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Here's my Heny today
My Threads account (where people actually interact with me) has been disabled and will be removed with no recourse, citing that I "violated community standards" (no), "created a fake account" (no), and so "our technology took action". I'm heartbroken + angry about this.
September 26, 2025 at 12:04 PM
My Threads account (where people actually interact with me) has been disabled and will be removed with no recourse, citing that I "violated community standards" (no), "created a fake account" (no), and so "our technology took action". I'm heartbroken + angry about this.
Here's something I just whipped up: silvery-purple seed pearls strung on silk, with vintage sterling Silpada pendant
September 24, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Here's something I just whipped up: silvery-purple seed pearls strung on silk, with vintage sterling Silpada pendant
My kitten brought her toy bear to me, dropped it, and I threw it for her and she ran, caught it in mid-air and mid-run, and brought it back to me again. 10/10, with extra style points for athleticism and finesse 🥇
September 21, 2025 at 6:23 PM
My kitten brought her toy bear to me, dropped it, and I threw it for her and she ran, caught it in mid-air and mid-run, and brought it back to me again. 10/10, with extra style points for athleticism and finesse 🥇
No thanks @nytimes.com, I'm not reading this, because there's a 0% chance that it's going to have any useful info on reducing costs for patients, and so therefore nothing that the article says is of interest (plus, I already know the whys: materials, insurance, practices all run by corporations)
September 16, 2025 at 12:12 PM
No thanks @nytimes.com, I'm not reading this, because there's a 0% chance that it's going to have any useful info on reducing costs for patients, and so therefore nothing that the article says is of interest (plus, I already know the whys: materials, insurance, practices all run by corporations)
The toothpaste I've been using since college (and am very devoted to) has been discontinued. I am distraught. I've been looking for something else, but in the meantime I'm using this Colgate, which says "great regular flavor." What does "regular" taste like, you ask? Disappointment.
September 12, 2025 at 1:51 AM
The toothpaste I've been using since college (and am very devoted to) has been discontinued. I am distraught. I've been looking for something else, but in the meantime I'm using this Colgate, which says "great regular flavor." What does "regular" taste like, you ask? Disappointment.
Oh good. I have this Paul book on deck.
September 7, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Oh good. I have this Paul book on deck.
Her performer name is Lil' Toasty
September 2, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Her performer name is Lil' Toasty