"JAMES BOND" IS NOT A CODENAME. HE ALREADY HAS A CODENAME. IT IS 007. RESIST THE URGE TO CANONISE STUFF. CANONISATION IS THE MIND KILLER. CANONISATION IS AMERICAN

I could think of half a dozen others, but that’s the one that sticks the most.

Same.

Ave Maria, gee it’s good t’see ya…

You don’t make a bad point.

I mean… yeahhhh. And there are a couple where it is SO BAD it’s unwatchable, and Live and Let Die should really be in that camp?

(Also, thank you.)

The trouble with Live and Let Die is that it’s an really cracking Bond APART from the racism, which just *saturates* it.

(I can’t take Goldeneye criticism. I mean, I can, but it is my Problematic Fave.)

Oh, like they wouldn’t make a methane joke?

My default understanding is that "James Bond" is a fairy summoned by Doctor John Dee and bound to serve England since Elizabethan times through his trap-name ("Bond") but in general no you can't assume he's always the same guy

Yep. And like, blandly, cheerfully lowest common denominator? But so straightforward about it that you can’t be offended. Just a straightforwardly good time.

THANK YOU.

This is the movie I want, Kiz. It is the movie I have wanted for years.

That’s it. That’s the formula. The old geezers will hate it, but they always do.

“Daft wee boys” is gender neutral btw.

I just 😍😍😍

Step five: go back to the school at kick out time - ask five beleaguered mothers which celebrities they wouldn’t kick out of their bed.

Find a newish actor who looks a bit like the most commonly mentioned name, and whose wanted to play Bond since he himself was a daft wee boy.

Step three: Leave the school, and look up the top three categories on P*rnHub.

You have your Bond babes. Give them stupid names.

Step four: leaf through a copy of GQ and one of Cosmo. The ads? That’s your aesthetic.

Step two: Find the most autistic of said daft wee boys. Ask him for his ten coolest facts. Omit anything with dinosaurs or comic books.

That’s your plot. Pin it on something inoffensive but vaguely topical.