Alison Pringle Guerra
@ali-p666.bsky.social
Comedy & horror writer, mom, Zillow aficionado, meme stock enthusiast...but wait! There's more!
You: "Patience is is is is a a a.... patience is a virt-"
Me: "virtue. Yeah. Got it."
Me: "virtue. Yeah. Got it."
January 6, 2025 at 7:00 PM
You: "Patience is is is is a a a.... patience is a virt-"
Me: "virtue. Yeah. Got it."
Me: "virtue. Yeah. Got it."
Doing "dry January." I'm still drinking too much but my jokes are incredibly flat.
January 4, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Doing "dry January." I'm still drinking too much but my jokes are incredibly flat.
Anyone else have a 5 year old who shouts “Luigi Mangione!” in an offensively absurd Italian accent with that hand thing and you then wonder if perhaps you’ve over done it?
a woman in a white tank top is sitting in front of a stone wall
ALT: a woman in a white tank top is sitting in front of a stone wall
media.tenor.com
December 25, 2024 at 4:24 AM
Anyone else have a 5 year old who shouts “Luigi Mangione!” in an offensively absurd Italian accent with that hand thing and you then wonder if perhaps you’ve over done it?
Moments after I was thinking “my child is so smart” she says, “how do you spell CVS?”
December 6, 2024 at 4:16 PM
Moments after I was thinking “my child is so smart” she says, “how do you spell CVS?”
As a kid, I was left alone to summon demons on the Ouija board.
Now, I supervise my kids as they wash their hands before bath time.
Now, I supervise my kids as they wash their hands before bath time.
December 2, 2024 at 9:03 PM
As a kid, I was left alone to summon demons on the Ouija board.
Now, I supervise my kids as they wash their hands before bath time.
Now, I supervise my kids as they wash their hands before bath time.
The babysitter says we have a ghost watching the kids. So, like, what are we paying her for?
November 19, 2024 at 4:48 PM
The babysitter says we have a ghost watching the kids. So, like, what are we paying her for?
Mama didn’t raise no fool. Meaning me, but not my brother.
November 18, 2024 at 8:47 PM
Mama didn’t raise no fool. Meaning me, but not my brother.
My 5 year old: are you picking up what I’m putting down?
Me: yes, because nobody else cleans up around here
Me: yes, because nobody else cleans up around here
November 18, 2024 at 2:52 AM
My 5 year old: are you picking up what I’m putting down?
Me: yes, because nobody else cleans up around here
Me: yes, because nobody else cleans up around here
Buy more GameStop.
a man sitting in a chair with the words " don 't say i did n't warn you " above him
ALT: a man sitting in a chair with the words " don 't say i did n't warn you " above him
media.tenor.com
November 17, 2024 at 4:07 AM
Buy more GameStop.
My home library
November 16, 2024 at 6:15 PM
My home library
Wine
Oops, I accidentally wrote my grocery list here
Oops, I accidentally wrote my grocery list here
November 16, 2024 at 5:59 PM
Wine
Oops, I accidentally wrote my grocery list here
Oops, I accidentally wrote my grocery list here