Next up: queue

All 37 remaining people who talk on phones exclusively do so by holding it in front of their mouth, bellowing as if mic technology was in its infancy, while the interlocutor bleats back on speakerphone -- because holding a phone up to your ear while talking would be a humiliating defeat.

Cars are the ultimate risk mitigator: if you kill someone behind the wheel, you are basically given the "airbag" of relative immunity.

I'll never understand the 20th and 21st century's obsession with the car, and the relentless need to pattern our lives and ethics around these fucking things.

Nice. Is their side hustle an in-house therapist to deal with the inevitable cases of psychosis that will emerge when their patients go full Lawnmower Man in the middle of having their vas deferens lasered? Why not offer LSD or mushrooms on top of the nitrous? Make "tripping balls" a reality.

I'm confused. Did the IRS stop collecting income tax information? Or perhaps this is a Freudian slip, reflecting that the Crypto Barons in Washington are now just fully avoiding fiduciary responsibility of their own interests relative to the public trust?

I was nearly dethroned as the editor of my undergrad newspaper for over-playing this in the newsroom, just after it was released. Persecution!

The most grating sound in the world is Democratic voters breathlessly defending themselves with some version of "I didn't vote for this". Yeah, well, technically neither did the other side, but in balance, it doesn't seem too disruptive to either group.