I really don't want to keep living..

I haven't played ets2 in so long but you're making me wanna play it again!

Friend, homo, sex... hmmm sounds fun ;3c

I still would want to fix things if I could but, I just don't know..

Just doesn't feel possible when things keep happening again and again.. I can't keep getting hurt before things even start to repair, smashing this plate until it's dust.

You can't break a plate, apologize, then have the plate be fixed. It's gonna be a lot of work tbh to get back to where we were, how things were before it all.. I just feel so fucking sick and tired and ill..

It feels sometimes like a part of me wants to self punish, or maybe I just have so much internalized shame.. Maybe it was bc of my dad..

I want to just freely accept the touch and affection of people close to me, but sometimes I get this twinge of discomfort, and I fucking HATE it

I want to work better on my relationship to sex and affection.. I legit find myself becoming like touch repulsed or sex repulsed for brief periods of time, and I don't know how to fix that...
I don't have time to..

It's not your fault that I havent tried hard enough to be everything you need in life :/ I am just objectively failing to meet what you need..
If I was better maybe none of this would've happened

☁️I LOVE BEING TICKLEEEEDDD it was hard to pick who would be in whos pits. but mine are so fuzzy and soft. so. i win! yay!! i want to draw more of tis...