Aviva Blakeman
@actuallyaviva.bsky.social
author of kissing books (most recently: Hot Lumberjack http://shorturl.at/EIPW5 )snark enthusiast, confirmed spinster, anxiety aficionado, fangirl, she/her
Sometimes you just gotta spend actual monies to buy the crown so people remember who they’re talking to.
August 13, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Sometimes you just gotta spend actual monies to buy the crown so people remember who they’re talking to.
This last pitture is me with the bone. Ima sleeps now, but you have heards my complain. Help the hoomom make better choices for next time, please. Bones are okay, though. 5/5
August 10, 2025 at 1:44 AM
This last pitture is me with the bone. Ima sleeps now, but you have heards my complain. Help the hoomom make better choices for next time, please. Bones are okay, though. 5/5
I was going to be unhappy serious for a while (as you can sees, probly) but the hoomom said I did so good I gotted to have a marrow bone and she is very smart a’cause that was like a manana from heaben. 4/5
August 10, 2025 at 1:44 AM
I was going to be unhappy serious for a while (as you can sees, probly) but the hoomom said I did so good I gotted to have a marrow bone and she is very smart a’cause that was like a manana from heaben. 4/5
This next pitture is me right after the baffs. I made sure the hoomom could see I was not happy. Even worser than the baffs was the blow dries. I do not like the blow dries. Even when the hoomom uses it on her and she’s not even a bagel. 3/5
August 10, 2025 at 1:44 AM
This next pitture is me right after the baffs. I made sure the hoomom could see I was not happy. Even worser than the baffs was the blow dries. I do not like the blow dries. Even when the hoomom uses it on her and she’s not even a bagel. 3/5
That’s right after the hoomom said it was time for baffs. I do not preciate baffs. I tolded the hoomom that the doctor said I couldn’t get my sitches wet cause ‘a my surdree and the hoomom said I was healeded good that’s why I don’t have to wear the donut no mores. 2/5
August 10, 2025 at 1:44 AM
That’s right after the hoomom said it was time for baffs. I do not preciate baffs. I tolded the hoomom that the doctor said I couldn’t get my sitches wet cause ‘a my surdree and the hoomom said I was healeded good that’s why I don’t have to wear the donut no mores. 2/5
Simcha’s Big Adventure: hiya peoples, it is I, Simcha Bagel. And I know it’s a shock to the systems but I gotta lodge a complain. See this first pitture? This was me, Simcha Bagel, this morning. See how happy and immocent I was? See this next pitture? 1/5
August 10, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Simcha’s Big Adventure: hiya peoples, it is I, Simcha Bagel. And I know it’s a shock to the systems but I gotta lodge a complain. See this first pitture? This was me, Simcha Bagel, this morning. See how happy and immocent I was? See this next pitture? 1/5
This is the face of a Bagel who just tried to put his entire face in my mouth when I was mid-yawn.
August 6, 2025 at 12:14 AM
This is the face of a Bagel who just tried to put his entire face in my mouth when I was mid-yawn.
It’s been very very hot outside and also rainy so the last few weeks we haven’t been going on as many long walks which I don’t like but we get to be on the porch where I can bark at stuffs. I’m sure surdree is going to be fine, mostly I can’t wait to have more foods again. 3/3
July 10, 2025 at 1:14 PM
It’s been very very hot outside and also rainy so the last few weeks we haven’t been going on as many long walks which I don’t like but we get to be on the porch where I can bark at stuffs. I’m sure surdree is going to be fine, mostly I can’t wait to have more foods again. 3/3
I hadded a humptety with my hedgehog and then threw it off the bed last night, as you can see I did not preesh that. But the Hooman rescued my hedgehog right after so that was okay. 2/3
July 10, 2025 at 1:14 PM
I hadded a humptety with my hedgehog and then threw it off the bed last night, as you can see I did not preesh that. But the Hooman rescued my hedgehog right after so that was okay. 2/3
Simcha’s Big Adventure: Good morning friends! It’s my surdree day and I still don’t know what that is but we went to the place where all the other dogs go to bark and the hoomom lefted me! Last night I wasn’t allowed to have foods but she gave me some peanut butter which I liked muchly thank you.1/3
July 10, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Simcha’s Big Adventure: Good morning friends! It’s my surdree day and I still don’t know what that is but we went to the place where all the other dogs go to bark and the hoomom lefted me! Last night I wasn’t allowed to have foods but she gave me some peanut butter which I liked muchly thank you.1/3
I did not like the donut balloon thing. Even tho I think I like donuts. They’re like Bagels, but lickier. 3/3
July 7, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I did not like the donut balloon thing. Even tho I think I like donuts. They’re like Bagels, but lickier. 3/3
I told her I won’t lick my butthole. I said promise, but she said it’s not my butt hole she’s worried about and THEN she took off my harness and maded me wear a balloon thing around my neck that she says looks like a donut. 2/3
July 7, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I told her I won’t lick my butthole. I said promise, but she said it’s not my butt hole she’s worried about and THEN she took off my harness and maded me wear a balloon thing around my neck that she says looks like a donut. 2/3
Simcha’s Big Adventure: Hiya friendos! It’s me, Simcha Bagel! Did you miss me? I’ve been super busy licking stuffs and the Hoomom says I gotta have surdree on Thursday. I don’t know what that means, but so fars it says I have to wear clothes that make my butthole disappeared. 1/3
July 7, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Simcha’s Big Adventure: Hiya friendos! It’s me, Simcha Bagel! Did you miss me? I’ve been super busy licking stuffs and the Hoomom says I gotta have surdree on Thursday. I don’t know what that means, but so fars it says I have to wear clothes that make my butthole disappeared. 1/3
Aaaaaand still no power. electric company projects it’ll get turned on around 4 this afternoon. There are a lot of downed trees. This was right outside my apartment. RIP the full fridge of food I splurged on for the month on Wednesday.
June 20, 2025 at 10:52 AM
Aaaaaand still no power. electric company projects it’ll get turned on around 4 this afternoon. There are a lot of downed trees. This was right outside my apartment. RIP the full fridge of food I splurged on for the month on Wednesday.
The hoomom says it’s over thirty and she calls them goth canaries. Idk what a turkey buzzard is either but that’s a lot of ‘em. 2/2
April 28, 2025 at 9:46 PM
The hoomom says it’s over thirty and she calls them goth canaries. Idk what a turkey buzzard is either but that’s a lot of ‘em. 2/2
Simcha’s Big Adventure: No big deal, friends, but when the Hoomom and I went out for walkies earlier today some weird big-dogs with wings and weird faces were eating something in the dog park and we just went out again and now there’s a whole lot of them. Just lookit. 1/2
April 28, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Simcha’s Big Adventure: No big deal, friends, but when the Hoomom and I went out for walkies earlier today some weird big-dogs with wings and weird faces were eating something in the dog park and we just went out again and now there’s a whole lot of them. Just lookit. 1/2
Which is a lot like regular only I hadda try to not bite so much, which is silly cause that’s just playing! Anyway I hope you’re good and you get lots of scritchies and yummy treaty-treats! 6/6
April 25, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Which is a lot like regular only I hadda try to not bite so much, which is silly cause that’s just playing! Anyway I hope you’re good and you get lots of scritchies and yummy treaty-treats! 6/6
For the whole rest’a the day whenever i saw something i barked real good so the hoomom knows I’m a big boy even tho she had to carry me that time. The hoomom’s mom came tonight for dinner and that was nice but she didn’t wanna play too good so i hadda use manners. 5/6
April 25, 2025 at 1:01 AM
For the whole rest’a the day whenever i saw something i barked real good so the hoomom knows I’m a big boy even tho she had to carry me that time. The hoomom’s mom came tonight for dinner and that was nice but she didn’t wanna play too good so i hadda use manners. 5/6
scooped me up and carried me away because he was an angry honky. I think he was protectering his wifey tho, the hoomom said there was a lady goose real close, so i guess thats okay but it was still mean. 4/6
April 25, 2025 at 1:01 AM
scooped me up and carried me away because he was an angry honky. I think he was protectering his wifey tho, the hoomom said there was a lady goose real close, so i guess thats okay but it was still mean. 4/6
One day we was walking on the grasses by the lake and i was sniffing (like i does) and a guy-honkie ran at me real-mad. He had me and the hoomom all backed against a partment building and I couldnt go no wheres quick-fast like i usually would. So i mighta cried a little loud and the hoomom 3/6
April 25, 2025 at 1:01 AM
One day we was walking on the grasses by the lake and i was sniffing (like i does) and a guy-honkie ran at me real-mad. He had me and the hoomom all backed against a partment building and I couldnt go no wheres quick-fast like i usually would. So i mighta cried a little loud and the hoomom 3/6
Like bunches of times a day and I think she wants my legs to fall off. But it’s okay because there’s all sorts of cool stuffs to sniff at. And there’s birb babies! Wee tiny quackers and honkies! 2/6
April 25, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Like bunches of times a day and I think she wants my legs to fall off. But it’s okay because there’s all sorts of cool stuffs to sniff at. And there’s birb babies! Wee tiny quackers and honkies! 2/6
Simcha’s Big Adventure: Hey there balls and bats! It is me, Simcha Bagel! Did you miss me?! It has been super-ventful around here lemme tell you! First the Hoomom has been taking me for walks around the lake. 1/6
April 25, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Simcha’s Big Adventure: Hey there balls and bats! It is me, Simcha Bagel! Did you miss me?! It has been super-ventful around here lemme tell you! First the Hoomom has been taking me for walks around the lake. 1/6
Oh! And she got me this cool armamadillio. It makes funny noises when I kill it. How was your weekend? I hope it was fun too! 5/5
March 31, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Oh! And she got me this cool armamadillio. It makes funny noises when I kill it. How was your weekend? I hope it was fun too! 5/5
I gotted to spend Saturday with my bestest friend Mak. And the hoomom and I played games with papers. The hoomom also did something called home improvements. I don’t know what that is but it makes her say cusses at the walls a lot. 4/5
March 31, 2025 at 12:24 AM
I gotted to spend Saturday with my bestest friend Mak. And the hoomom and I played games with papers. The hoomom also did something called home improvements. I don’t know what that is but it makes her say cusses at the walls a lot. 4/5
Then the hoomom and I was walking and I sawed another dog in the dog park and as you can see I was most displeasured because that’s against the rules—I peed on it that means it’s mine. So I barked a bunch but the other dog kept playing. I think that’s unfair. 3/5
March 31, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Then the hoomom and I was walking and I sawed another dog in the dog park and as you can see I was most displeasured because that’s against the rules—I peed on it that means it’s mine. So I barked a bunch but the other dog kept playing. I think that’s unfair. 3/5