54
@54-4n4.bsky.social
Intersex (she/it)
Not new to Ed spaces, new to posting in them.
Ed on and off for ~15 years.
High BMI, Low body fat %.
#caterpillarsky #edsky
Not new to Ed spaces, new to posting in them.
Ed on and off for ~15 years.
High BMI, Low body fat %.
#caterpillarsky #edsky
Pinned
54
@54-4n4.bsky.social
· Aug 11
Should probably do an into post. Hi, call me 54.
• I am already pretty quiet on main, so this account will probably be quiet.
• Atypical anorexia, pica. Formerly bulemia.
• SH free since November!
• DNI Intolerance (queer, racial, disorder, etc.)
• Homeless/living in car.
Continued in thread.
• I am already pretty quiet on main, so this account will probably be quiet.
• Atypical anorexia, pica. Formerly bulemia.
• SH free since November!
• DNI Intolerance (queer, racial, disorder, etc.)
• Homeless/living in car.
Continued in thread.
Texted a picture of my thanksgiving dinner to a friend and they praised me for my "recovery."
First off, it's literally 900 cals.
Second, I'm literally within 5lbs of my low weight.
Third, it's entirely made of safe foods.
"Recovery"
First off, it's literally 900 cals.
Second, I'm literally within 5lbs of my low weight.
Third, it's entirely made of safe foods.
"Recovery"
November 27, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Texted a picture of my thanksgiving dinner to a friend and they praised me for my "recovery."
First off, it's literally 900 cals.
Second, I'm literally within 5lbs of my low weight.
Third, it's entirely made of safe foods.
"Recovery"
First off, it's literally 900 cals.
Second, I'm literally within 5lbs of my low weight.
Third, it's entirely made of safe foods.
"Recovery"
Just realized today was Sunday, my usual metab day... Fuck! Too late now.
But since th*nksg*v*ng is this upcoming week, I almost certainly will wind up with multiple metab days, so it'll balance out. Right?
But since th*nksg*v*ng is this upcoming week, I almost certainly will wind up with multiple metab days, so it'll balance out. Right?
November 24, 2025 at 6:10 AM
Just realized today was Sunday, my usual metab day... Fuck! Too late now.
But since th*nksg*v*ng is this upcoming week, I almost certainly will wind up with multiple metab days, so it'll balance out. Right?
But since th*nksg*v*ng is this upcoming week, I almost certainly will wind up with multiple metab days, so it'll balance out. Right?
I'mma be real for a second. I'm not self harm free. Like, no point even lying about it for the bit.
Welp, I'm officially 1 hour self harm free... Now for my intro blurb to be wrong for like a couple months until I do a new one.
November 19, 2025 at 7:46 AM
I'mma be real for a second. I'm not self harm free. Like, no point even lying about it for the bit.
Well, I'm not waiting the full hour this time. Closer to like 15-20 minutes. But I'm hoping to be asleep by the time it's actually an hour.
Welp, I'm officially 1 hour self harm free... Now for my intro blurb to be wrong for like a couple months until I do a new one.
November 16, 2025 at 6:17 AM
Well, I'm not waiting the full hour this time. Closer to like 15-20 minutes. But I'm hoping to be asleep by the time it's actually an hour.
Alright, stupid question: How do you check your speed while driving?
The ways I've known are to look at the speedometer, or use cruise control. My rear door sensor is broke, and the car thinks the door is open. Which disables cruise control, and covers the speedometer with a warning about the door.
The ways I've known are to look at the speedometer, or use cruise control. My rear door sensor is broke, and the car thinks the door is open. Which disables cruise control, and covers the speedometer with a warning about the door.
November 14, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Alright, stupid question: How do you check your speed while driving?
The ways I've known are to look at the speedometer, or use cruise control. My rear door sensor is broke, and the car thinks the door is open. Which disables cruise control, and covers the speedometer with a warning about the door.
The ways I've known are to look at the speedometer, or use cruise control. My rear door sensor is broke, and the car thinks the door is open. Which disables cruise control, and covers the speedometer with a warning about the door.
I need to learn faster.
I went to bed at 10 pm last night. Its now 7 AM. I just got out of bed.
Did I sleep? No. When did I realize I wasn't gonna sleep? Just now.
Why am I like this?
I went to bed at 10 pm last night. Its now 7 AM. I just got out of bed.
Did I sleep? No. When did I realize I wasn't gonna sleep? Just now.
Why am I like this?
November 13, 2025 at 2:52 PM
I need to learn faster.
I went to bed at 10 pm last night. Its now 7 AM. I just got out of bed.
Did I sleep? No. When did I realize I wasn't gonna sleep? Just now.
Why am I like this?
I went to bed at 10 pm last night. Its now 7 AM. I just got out of bed.
Did I sleep? No. When did I realize I wasn't gonna sleep? Just now.
Why am I like this?
Saw this YouTube short earlier that mentioned bashing your head into a wall as a form of sh. It also mentioned intentionally burning yourself, and a few others.
That doesn't count, right? Cause, like, in that case, I've never been sh free for more than about a day.
#shedsky
That doesn't count, right? Cause, like, in that case, I've never been sh free for more than about a day.
#shedsky
November 8, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Saw this YouTube short earlier that mentioned bashing your head into a wall as a form of sh. It also mentioned intentionally burning yourself, and a few others.
That doesn't count, right? Cause, like, in that case, I've never been sh free for more than about a day.
#shedsky
That doesn't count, right? Cause, like, in that case, I've never been sh free for more than about a day.
#shedsky
This right here! I love supporting local restaurants. But if I had a nickel for every time I've Been to one with calorie counts on the menu, I'd be broke.
Estimating the wrap at around 700 cals bc it's a spicy chicken wrap from a little local place so there's no cal counts and my brain does not like that
November 6, 2025 at 6:58 AM
This right here! I love supporting local restaurants. But if I had a nickel for every time I've Been to one with calorie counts on the menu, I'd be broke.
Just came to a stupid realization.
I just broke fast at dinner time. The last I ate before then was Sunday dinner. Meaning I technically fasted just shy of 48 hours.
But in my head, I fasted one day, since I ate today and Sunday, so I only fasted on Monday.
Eedee logic I swear.
I just broke fast at dinner time. The last I ate before then was Sunday dinner. Meaning I technically fasted just shy of 48 hours.
But in my head, I fasted one day, since I ate today and Sunday, so I only fasted on Monday.
Eedee logic I swear.
November 5, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Just came to a stupid realization.
I just broke fast at dinner time. The last I ate before then was Sunday dinner. Meaning I technically fasted just shy of 48 hours.
But in my head, I fasted one day, since I ate today and Sunday, so I only fasted on Monday.
Eedee logic I swear.
I just broke fast at dinner time. The last I ate before then was Sunday dinner. Meaning I technically fasted just shy of 48 hours.
But in my head, I fasted one day, since I ate today and Sunday, so I only fasted on Monday.
Eedee logic I swear.
Accidental fast today lol.
Long story short, all the food I have needs to be cooked to be edible (mostly rice/dry beans). The only way I have power is a power bank. Which charges ~30 times slower than it burns. 20 minutes to cook rice is 600 minutes to charge. And I'm not able to stay up 10 hours.
Long story short, all the food I have needs to be cooked to be edible (mostly rice/dry beans). The only way I have power is a power bank. Which charges ~30 times slower than it burns. 20 minutes to cook rice is 600 minutes to charge. And I'm not able to stay up 10 hours.
November 4, 2025 at 6:45 AM
Accidental fast today lol.
Long story short, all the food I have needs to be cooked to be edible (mostly rice/dry beans). The only way I have power is a power bank. Which charges ~30 times slower than it burns. 20 minutes to cook rice is 600 minutes to charge. And I'm not able to stay up 10 hours.
Long story short, all the food I have needs to be cooked to be edible (mostly rice/dry beans). The only way I have power is a power bank. Which charges ~30 times slower than it burns. 20 minutes to cook rice is 600 minutes to charge. And I'm not able to stay up 10 hours.
Accountability thread!
I'm actually gonna try this, and just post the word count at the end of the day, perhaps with a short quote.
I definitely won't forget about this the way I did about pokemon. I mean, when have I ever forgotten about anything?
I'm actually gonna try this, and just post the word count at the end of the day, perhaps with a short quote.
I definitely won't forget about this the way I did about pokemon. I mean, when have I ever forgotten about anything?
I remember seeing this thing a couple years back that was like "write a chapter every day in November" or smth like that, and I'm kinda tempted to do it this year.
I've wanted to write an autobiography for a couple years now, so I might start that come nov 1st. Probably won't publish it, partially..
I've wanted to write an autobiography for a couple years now, so I might start that come nov 1st. Probably won't publish it, partially..
November 2, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Accountability thread!
I'm actually gonna try this, and just post the word count at the end of the day, perhaps with a short quote.
I definitely won't forget about this the way I did about pokemon. I mean, when have I ever forgotten about anything?
I'm actually gonna try this, and just post the word count at the end of the day, perhaps with a short quote.
I definitely won't forget about this the way I did about pokemon. I mean, when have I ever forgotten about anything?
I remember seeing this thing a couple years back that was like "write a chapter every day in November" or smth like that, and I'm kinda tempted to do it this year.
I've wanted to write an autobiography for a couple years now, so I might start that come nov 1st. Probably won't publish it, partially..
I've wanted to write an autobiography for a couple years now, so I might start that come nov 1st. Probably won't publish it, partially..
October 31, 2025 at 9:12 AM
I remember seeing this thing a couple years back that was like "write a chapter every day in November" or smth like that, and I'm kinda tempted to do it this year.
I've wanted to write an autobiography for a couple years now, so I might start that come nov 1st. Probably won't publish it, partially..
I've wanted to write an autobiography for a couple years now, so I might start that come nov 1st. Probably won't publish it, partially..
Reposted by 54
Guys you all are so so so pretty and like I cannot believe y'all hate yourselves because like I look at every single one of you like wow omg they're so cool and pretty they would never talk to me and I think you all deserve the world and should be happy and healthy and maybe um just drunk but still
October 31, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Guys you all are so so so pretty and like I cannot believe y'all hate yourselves because like I look at every single one of you like wow omg they're so cool and pretty they would never talk to me and I think you all deserve the world and should be happy and healthy and maybe um just drunk but still
I know it's just a matter of time before something upsets this balance, but I'm kinda okay with maintaining this weight.
Like, I would love to go lower, sure. But my biggest issues with my appearance rn are all from bones being big. And losing weight doesn't fix that.
Also having wardrobe issues...
Like, I would love to go lower, sure. But my biggest issues with my appearance rn are all from bones being big. And losing weight doesn't fix that.
Also having wardrobe issues...
October 30, 2025 at 8:22 AM
I know it's just a matter of time before something upsets this balance, but I'm kinda okay with maintaining this weight.
Like, I would love to go lower, sure. But my biggest issues with my appearance rn are all from bones being big. And losing weight doesn't fix that.
Also having wardrobe issues...
Like, I would love to go lower, sure. But my biggest issues with my appearance rn are all from bones being big. And losing weight doesn't fix that.
Also having wardrobe issues...
Tested again today, and it's definitely a one off occurrence...
Damn!
Damn!
Can someone please tell me if I'm just crazy, or if I developed a seed allergy in the past ~3 years.
I used to love sunflower seeds, so I picked up a bag of them today (106g/300cal).
I got halfway through the bag, and got full. I ate them at about 1pm, and it's now 11:30 pm. Still full!
I used to love sunflower seeds, so I picked up a bag of them today (106g/300cal).
I got halfway through the bag, and got full. I ate them at about 1pm, and it's now 11:30 pm. Still full!
October 28, 2025 at 5:56 AM
Tested again today, and it's definitely a one off occurrence...
Damn!
Damn!
So I was just eating bone in chicken in my car. And I took a bite out of the bone, and someone just looked at me like I lost my marbles.
Like, I got bone in chicken because I wanted the bone. I'm not gonna just waste it.
#edsky #pica #caterpillarsky
Like, I got bone in chicken because I wanted the bone. I'm not gonna just waste it.
#edsky #pica #caterpillarsky
October 27, 2025 at 2:52 AM
So I was just eating bone in chicken in my car. And I took a bite out of the bone, and someone just looked at me like I lost my marbles.
Like, I got bone in chicken because I wanted the bone. I'm not gonna just waste it.
#edsky #pica #caterpillarsky
Like, I got bone in chicken because I wanted the bone. I'm not gonna just waste it.
#edsky #pica #caterpillarsky
The wind is literally rocking the car rn. It's like it's rocking me to sleep, which is nice...
But also, this is like ~2 tonnes of metal, plus one ton of stuff, plus one ton of me, like how much wind is happening?
And weather service up here doesn't even treat it as notable. Is PNW just like this?
But also, this is like ~2 tonnes of metal, plus one ton of stuff, plus one ton of me, like how much wind is happening?
And weather service up here doesn't even treat it as notable. Is PNW just like this?
October 26, 2025 at 6:22 AM
The wind is literally rocking the car rn. It's like it's rocking me to sleep, which is nice...
But also, this is like ~2 tonnes of metal, plus one ton of stuff, plus one ton of me, like how much wind is happening?
And weather service up here doesn't even treat it as notable. Is PNW just like this?
But also, this is like ~2 tonnes of metal, plus one ton of stuff, plus one ton of me, like how much wind is happening?
And weather service up here doesn't even treat it as notable. Is PNW just like this?
Can someone please tell me if I'm just crazy, or if I developed a seed allergy in the past ~3 years.
I used to love sunflower seeds, so I picked up a bag of them today (106g/300cal).
I got halfway through the bag, and got full. I ate them at about 1pm, and it's now 11:30 pm. Still full!
I used to love sunflower seeds, so I picked up a bag of them today (106g/300cal).
I got halfway through the bag, and got full. I ate them at about 1pm, and it's now 11:30 pm. Still full!
October 25, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Can someone please tell me if I'm just crazy, or if I developed a seed allergy in the past ~3 years.
I used to love sunflower seeds, so I picked up a bag of them today (106g/300cal).
I got halfway through the bag, and got full. I ate them at about 1pm, and it's now 11:30 pm. Still full!
I used to love sunflower seeds, so I picked up a bag of them today (106g/300cal).
I got halfway through the bag, and got full. I ate them at about 1pm, and it's now 11:30 pm. Still full!
My pica sees all these crunchy leaves on the ground and is tempting me...
My ana is telling me to not break my fast...
At least my imposter syndrome has shut up, because either answer is disordered.
#caterpillarsky
My ana is telling me to not break my fast...
At least my imposter syndrome has shut up, because either answer is disordered.
#caterpillarsky
October 21, 2025 at 12:36 AM
My pica sees all these crunchy leaves on the ground and is tempting me...
My ana is telling me to not break my fast...
At least my imposter syndrome has shut up, because either answer is disordered.
#caterpillarsky
My ana is telling me to not break my fast...
At least my imposter syndrome has shut up, because either answer is disordered.
#caterpillarsky
I really need to start taking my metab day on a different day because something triggering happens every Sunday it seems.
I mean, it'll probably happen on whatever day I move it to, but still.
Thankfully I got the next three days free, so I'll probably fast.
I mean, it'll probably happen on whatever day I move it to, but still.
Thankfully I got the next three days free, so I'll probably fast.
October 20, 2025 at 7:59 AM
I really need to start taking my metab day on a different day because something triggering happens every Sunday it seems.
I mean, it'll probably happen on whatever day I move it to, but still.
Thankfully I got the next three days free, so I'll probably fast.
I mean, it'll probably happen on whatever day I move it to, but still.
Thankfully I got the next three days free, so I'll probably fast.
Welp, I'm officially 1 hour self harm free... Now for my intro blurb to be wrong for like a couple months until I do a new one.
October 16, 2025 at 11:40 PM
TW: Numbers.
Well, even after having to wait a day, I still did a bit of an exercise/fasting spiral.
I gotta be a functional adult tomorrow, so it ends tomorrow morning.
Well, even after having to wait a day, I still did a bit of an exercise/fasting spiral.
I gotta be a functional adult tomorrow, so it ends tomorrow morning.
October 14, 2025 at 5:44 AM
TW: Numbers.
Well, even after having to wait a day, I still did a bit of an exercise/fasting spiral.
I gotta be a functional adult tomorrow, so it ends tomorrow morning.
Well, even after having to wait a day, I still did a bit of an exercise/fasting spiral.
I gotta be a functional adult tomorrow, so it ends tomorrow morning.
Reposted by 54
Welp, I'm officially 1 hour self harm free... Now for my intro blurb to be wrong for like a couple months until I do a new one.
October 4, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Twice today I have been coming out of the bathroom, and had someone double take at which bathroom is which.
Women can be anything they want except for ugly, apparently.
And of course this happens on metab day, like I want to spiral now, but I've got like 400 cals left that I can't just skip. FML!
Women can be anything they want except for ugly, apparently.
And of course this happens on metab day, like I want to spiral now, but I've got like 400 cals left that I can't just skip. FML!
October 13, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Twice today I have been coming out of the bathroom, and had someone double take at which bathroom is which.
Women can be anything they want except for ugly, apparently.
And of course this happens on metab day, like I want to spiral now, but I've got like 400 cals left that I can't just skip. FML!
Women can be anything they want except for ugly, apparently.
And of course this happens on metab day, like I want to spiral now, but I've got like 400 cals left that I can't just skip. FML!
Posted this on metabolism day, in which I needed to eat ~1/2 cup of peanut butter right before bed to meet my requirements.
I literally broke 3000 cals today while trying to restrict.
Just-IDK kill me now.
I literally broke 3000 cals today while trying to restrict.
Just-IDK kill me now.
Someone care to explain why I will try to restrict, then eat 1500 cals, but then when I try to have a metabolism day, I'm full all day from like 800 cals?
Like, I can't restrict, I can't metabolism, I can't recover, I swear to shit.
Like, I can't restrict, I can't metabolism, I can't recover, I swear to shit.
October 7, 2025 at 6:45 AM
Posted this on metabolism day, in which I needed to eat ~1/2 cup of peanut butter right before bed to meet my requirements.
I literally broke 3000 cals today while trying to restrict.
Just-IDK kill me now.
I literally broke 3000 cals today while trying to restrict.
Just-IDK kill me now.