F.W.T.B.T. (I Dream of Hobby Lobby Being Bankrupted Through Private Equity Instead of My Mystikal Master Joann Fabric)

it came out that sadly the pope passed after walking in on jd vance fucking the papal sedes stercoraria. vatican insiders had previously reported vance became visibly agitated and sweaty after noticing there was a chair with a hole in it

mandela effect conspiracy i’m trying to get off the ground: gene simmons from kiss died in 1996 at busch gardens tampa after his over the shoulder restraint failed and he was thrown from his seat at the top of a loop on montu (which had opened earlier that season) landing on his head, killing him

being into music is so fuckin stupid.
yeah man, i’ve been listening to a lot of egg punk recently. no, for sure. i’m getting into grebo and the offshoot fraggle scene. it’s got some pretty cool stuff. i’ve been revisiting shitgaze and it really holds up.

started replaying fallout: new vegas for the first time in like a decade, which was fun and cool until i remembered today is my shot day and i needed to stop playing so i could become the stereotype and give myself my estrogen injection

the chill guy meme sucked for many reasons, but primarily because he looks like if augie doggie listened to drake

i hope that they never catch this dude but that we’re able to find out what his spotify wrapped was like

with the holiday season officially here i’d like to share a little tip i’ve developed over the last year that makes traveling into a fun game. you take 500+mg of edibles on the way to the airport and try to get through TSA and to your gate before you stop being able to read or understand directions

are lesbians irish coded or are the irish lesbian coded?

need a snappy name like “cali sober” but for when you stop doing meth and start wearing cozy pajama sets and drinking brandy milk punch