In case you don’t know AuDHD is short for autism spectrum disorder and Autism/Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder.. Actually it was ADD back in my day, but that’s another story.

Figuring this out was the end of a an equation I could never balance, a puzzle unfinished(I am not a puzzle piece) but never for a lack of trying to understand “why”. I knew people would treat me differently and I never understood why until I figured out it was AuDHD.

Lack of ability to sleep, weird textures(corduroy just gives me the eek), rumination for weeks/years about suicide. Knowing is better because I can better track myself and advocate for my own health and sanity, but it still deeply troubles me.

Too many signs that I had “Autism spectrum disorder”; my love of Encyclopedia Brown, my ability to figure out my dads crazy hamburger puzzle at less than 4 years old. So many sighs but the ADHD was hiding it in plain sight for years. ADHD wasn’t diagnosed untill after I figured out “ASD”@48

Cont: my hope is yes, but i will have to buy new ones because the OG gold is in a shadow box now. #itstillhurts