I got a new tattoo so at any given moment I can look at my leg and work out if the acid has hit.

(excited) i'm going to make a spreadsheet for that

In the war on drugs I was a defector.

Sent my first ever ToA earlier this week. Don't ask where I am in the screenshot - that's rude I promise I'm alive. #osrs

Any hot grills wanna cook my meat substitute? Not after sex just want tofu not to taste like ass

Looking for anyone to talk shit with while I grind OSRS - I am a GIM just getting in to low - mid level bossing

Back to being a gym rat after 3 years out from health problems and fuck me does it feel good to check myself out in the mirror when I'm lifting heavy things

My osrs won't log in on mobile so I can't train slayer in bed and actually have to watch the show I asked pesto to wait for smh 🙄

A good thesaurus is the difference between asking your date how many chickens they could fight at once and how many cocks they could take at the same time

My therapist told me to imagine my intrusive thoughts being said by a cartoon character but the police didn't believe me that Bender was telling me to send that kid back to spawn

Sat in a bar and meet a mysterious but attractive woman, "Roll to seduce!" I exclaim. I get out my dice and roll a natural 20, looking up excitedly to see my reward... She left.