Zoe Danger
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xoedanger.bsky.social
Zoe Danger
@xoedanger.bsky.social
Living within the warm glow of contradiction, unable to relate to people I have anything in common with. (she/they) 🏳️‍⚧️
It’s crazy how humans just like, invented the guitar, and then like, decided to get really good at it.
November 7, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Made the mistake of having caffeinated coffee after noon yesterday and it got me:

1. Crashed and went to bed early.
2. Restless, nearly sleepless night.
3. The brief sleep I did achieve included a single (rare for me) sex dream in which I was too tired to have any sex.
November 3, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Ate the desiccant packet in the jerky bag again.
October 17, 2025 at 12:52 PM
I sometimes wonder if the true catalyst for me realizing I was trans, was when I started sobbing from the Daft Punk breakup announcement video.
October 5, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Broke: “Extramarital”
Woke: “Supramarital”
October 3, 2025 at 1:21 AM
If you listened closely, Trump don’t blame Tylenol for autism… he blamed mothers.
September 23, 2025 at 11:44 AM
Manic Pixie Dream Tranny
September 22, 2025 at 10:46 PM
I just tried a Russian candy that tasted like a combination of hazelnut chocolate and automatic transmission fluid.
September 9, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Have y’all heard about this thing called “tattoos?”

I just got my first one, and want to talk about how cool they are.
September 7, 2025 at 3:06 AM
I got teased by a group of teens recently for not knowing that “MCR” was short for “My Chemical Romance.”

And nothing makes you sound even more old and out of touch than trying to defend yourself by claiming you were listening to them first.
August 29, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Straight cis dudes’ dating profiles always read like they’re trying to attract other straight cis dudes.
August 29, 2025 at 3:01 AM
If righting the wrongs is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
August 15, 2025 at 2:22 PM
The trick with cooking burgers on the grill is you have to take them off when they’re done… not wait until you know they’re done.
August 7, 2025 at 12:26 AM
When puberty hit, the baby bird that was my budding sexual attraction, imprinted on Natalie Imbruglia in the music video for Torn.
August 6, 2025 at 7:30 PM
“The 7 News Peen Team… working for YOU.”
August 5, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Artisnal rotisserie chicken.

I call it: *Rotisnal*
August 2, 2025 at 9:18 PM
The only down side to this diet is the sheer volume I have to consume to hit my nutrient goals.
July 31, 2025 at 1:53 AM
I miss Left Shark.
July 20, 2025 at 1:33 AM
You’re amazing.
You’re valid.
You’re beautiful.
I love you.
July 19, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Local on the 8s
July 14, 2025 at 11:33 AM
The only true “unicorn” is a trans woman whose dating profile doesn’t include a picture of a cat or her sticking out her tongue.
July 11, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Larva Lamp
July 11, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Get your ass to a local drag show and bring $1s.

(…and $5s and $10s if you can.)
July 6, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Y’all need to stop fucking around, and get to it.
July 5, 2025 at 12:02 AM
There was a kid in my high school graduating class that no one ever remembered seeing, but he was in the yearbook with the senior quote:

“The mountains may get me, but the law never will.”
July 4, 2025 at 12:48 AM