Jared
@xjaredx.bsky.social
Big ol' dork, dad, bass player, esports producer
Kid toys are the only thing keeping the entire weird battery size market afloat
December 5, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Kid toys are the only thing keeping the entire weird battery size market afloat
Interesting thing about being at the airport for way too long is how quickly the dude playing piano in the food court goes from "this is kinda nice that they have this" to "my man you have *got* to shut up"
November 4, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Interesting thing about being at the airport for way too long is how quickly the dude playing piano in the food court goes from "this is kinda nice that they have this" to "my man you have *got* to shut up"
Reposted by Jared
i see you're doing something online that you have effortlessly done 100,000 times. would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? w
October 20, 2025 at 2:38 PM
i see you're doing something online that you have effortlessly done 100,000 times. would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? w
Reposted by Jared
how I feel since 2016 or so
July 28, 2025 at 7:32 PM
how I feel since 2016 or so
My favorite thing at the zoo is overhearing just how confidently wrong people can be
May 31, 2025 at 7:09 PM
My favorite thing at the zoo is overhearing just how confidently wrong people can be
Reposted by Jared
Reposted by Jared
just a whole truck following you around announcing what a slop hog you are
As part of the red-carpet treatment, Saudi officials arranged for a fully operational mobile McDonald’s unit to accompany President Trump during his stay.
According to local reports, the unit was set up near the Saudi Royal Court.
According to local reports, the unit was set up near the Saudi Royal Court.
May 13, 2025 at 4:47 PM
just a whole truck following you around announcing what a slop hog you are
Reposted by Jared
The Foot Clan provided an essential third space for these kids to hang out and decrompress and be creative, but Bush I and Clinton destroyed it with budget cuts 😔
honestly this shit would have had me joining the Foot Clan too
April 27, 2025 at 6:41 PM
The Foot Clan provided an essential third space for these kids to hang out and decrompress and be creative, but Bush I and Clinton destroyed it with budget cuts 😔
I've lived in the suburbs my whole life, but nothing makes me feel more out of place here than taking my kid to birthday parties
April 27, 2025 at 6:26 PM
I've lived in the suburbs my whole life, but nothing makes me feel more out of place here than taking my kid to birthday parties
Love it when something actually lives up to the hype. Sinners is an absolute hell of an experience and man, glad I sprung for IMAX
April 24, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Love it when something actually lives up to the hype. Sinners is an absolute hell of an experience and man, glad I sprung for IMAX
I'm gonna need some time to process this...
March 19, 2025 at 2:22 PM
I'm gonna need some time to process this...
At the gym and I forgot my headphones, so I get the world's worst soundtrack - the sound of my own breathing
March 6, 2025 at 12:28 PM
At the gym and I forgot my headphones, so I get the world's worst soundtrack - the sound of my own breathing
This sucks. RIP to an icon
March 4, 2025 at 6:18 PM
This sucks. RIP to an icon
Reposted by Jared
I gotta be honest everyone, my capacity for being upset at the design of the Shrek characters is pretty limited these days.
February 28, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I gotta be honest everyone, my capacity for being upset at the design of the Shrek characters is pretty limited these days.
Reposted by Jared
Costco and Trader Joes are yin and yang. Together they form a harmonious balance. One sells big piles of normal food, the other sells small piles of weird food. These are the two food piles people need
February 21, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Costco and Trader Joes are yin and yang. Together they form a harmonious balance. One sells big piles of normal food, the other sells small piles of weird food. These are the two food piles people need
My favorite part of the Superbowl was watching the halftime show with my mom and having to explain what hip-hop is
February 10, 2025 at 2:38 PM
My favorite part of the Superbowl was watching the halftime show with my mom and having to explain what hip-hop is
Reposted by Jared
I sometimes thinking about this Canon ad with Godzilla at a copy machine when I’m feeling sad
January 28, 2025 at 6:53 PM
I sometimes thinking about this Canon ad with Godzilla at a copy machine when I’m feeling sad
Might be up for replaying these. No reason
Wolfenstein: Alt History Collection is $11.99 on US PSN https://buff.ly/4gaS60I
January 22, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Might be up for replaying these. No reason
I dunno if anyone even actually follows me here haha, but if you do and you like getting fun mail and cool nerdy/horror art nobody does it better!
…I have a sticker of the month club if you enjoy getting some real mail! ko-fi.com/poopbird
January 22, 2025 at 7:47 PM
I dunno if anyone even actually follows me here haha, but if you do and you like getting fun mail and cool nerdy/horror art nobody does it better!
Reposted by Jared
Reposted by Jared
Speed dating is where you have to tell Keanu reeves a little about yourself or this bus will explode
January 15, 2025 at 10:51 AM
Speed dating is where you have to tell Keanu reeves a little about yourself or this bus will explode
Reposted by Jared
Every podcast I don’t listen to is called “Achieving the Limit with Duff and Ween” and gets sold for 300 million dollars while every podcast I do listen to is called “The Movie Toilet” and begs me to buy a t shirt so they can eat food
December 19, 2024 at 10:45 PM
Every podcast I don’t listen to is called “Achieving the Limit with Duff and Ween” and gets sold for 300 million dollars while every podcast I do listen to is called “The Movie Toilet” and begs me to buy a t shirt so they can eat food