Nikolai🌙
@vantastel.bsky.social
35 | Michigan | Artist
(also a genie if you ask nicely)
(also a genie if you ask nicely)
God. Fuck the NFL sideways.
November 9, 2025 at 11:39 PM
God. Fuck the NFL sideways.
Barber: We charge $65 for a haircut and beard trim.
Men: You're out of your mind.
Barber: But our logo is this.
Men: Oh HELL yeah that's manly as fuck count me in
Men: You're out of your mind.
Barber: But our logo is this.
Men: Oh HELL yeah that's manly as fuck count me in
November 7, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Barber: We charge $65 for a haircut and beard trim.
Men: You're out of your mind.
Barber: But our logo is this.
Men: Oh HELL yeah that's manly as fuck count me in
Men: You're out of your mind.
Barber: But our logo is this.
Men: Oh HELL yeah that's manly as fuck count me in
Tell me your worst nightmare.
Mine: Shopping with grandparents at random mall. I hide in a clothes rack and the mall suddenly closes. My grandparents are nowhere to be seen and I am trapped in a gated outlet store. Cont.
Mine: Shopping with grandparents at random mall. I hide in a clothes rack and the mall suddenly closes. My grandparents are nowhere to be seen and I am trapped in a gated outlet store. Cont.
November 6, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Tell me your worst nightmare.
Mine: Shopping with grandparents at random mall. I hide in a clothes rack and the mall suddenly closes. My grandparents are nowhere to be seen and I am trapped in a gated outlet store. Cont.
Mine: Shopping with grandparents at random mall. I hide in a clothes rack and the mall suddenly closes. My grandparents are nowhere to be seen and I am trapped in a gated outlet store. Cont.
I'm on my fourth diarrhea today.
I thought you should all know that.
I thought you should all know that.
November 3, 2025 at 11:39 PM
I'm on my fourth diarrhea today.
I thought you should all know that.
I thought you should all know that.
Reposted by Nikolai🌙
Sad story time: I used to make custom watercolor tokens for Magic the Gathering. I stopped playing for a number of years and got back into it. The company I partnered with a while back updated their website and all my watercolor pngs went poof with it...
20+ paintings gone forever.
Well. 🤷🏻♂️
20+ paintings gone forever.
Well. 🤷🏻♂️
November 3, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Sad story time: I used to make custom watercolor tokens for Magic the Gathering. I stopped playing for a number of years and got back into it. The company I partnered with a while back updated their website and all my watercolor pngs went poof with it...
20+ paintings gone forever.
Well. 🤷🏻♂️
20+ paintings gone forever.
Well. 🤷🏻♂️
Reposted by Nikolai🌙
Wacky Postmodernism era
1999
1999
October 27, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Wacky Postmodernism era
1999
1999
Reposted by Nikolai🌙
My favorite thing to do when I had Facebook was joining random townie groups and asking them why they all drive like absolute dogshit. 😌
October 22, 2025 at 10:16 PM
My favorite thing to do when I had Facebook was joining random townie groups and asking them why they all drive like absolute dogshit. 😌
The White House has never needed a ballroom. The historic East Wing is currently being demolished by a bunch of schmucks and $250 million of [checks notes] "privately funded" dollars built it.
Your tax dollars paid for that chimpanzee's long term cozy renovation. If you're not furious...
Your tax dollars paid for that chimpanzee's long term cozy renovation. If you're not furious...
October 21, 2025 at 6:12 PM
The White House has never needed a ballroom. The historic East Wing is currently being demolished by a bunch of schmucks and $250 million of [checks notes] "privately funded" dollars built it.
Your tax dollars paid for that chimpanzee's long term cozy renovation. If you're not furious...
Your tax dollars paid for that chimpanzee's long term cozy renovation. If you're not furious...
Tiktok Moms: GUYS. I found all this thrown out wooden furniture that I can upcycle! Let's bring it in! The kids will LOVE it! Take this journey with me~♡
The bedbugs living in the wood grain that destroyed the lives of the previous owners: Hell yeah
The bedbugs living in the wood grain that destroyed the lives of the previous owners: Hell yeah
three cockroaches are standing on a bottle cap with a blue background
ALT: three cockroaches are standing on a bottle cap with a blue background
media.tenor.com
October 15, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Tiktok Moms: GUYS. I found all this thrown out wooden furniture that I can upcycle! Let's bring it in! The kids will LOVE it! Take this journey with me~♡
The bedbugs living in the wood grain that destroyed the lives of the previous owners: Hell yeah
The bedbugs living in the wood grain that destroyed the lives of the previous owners: Hell yeah
"I enjoy drunk driving and even though I hit someone, I sped off and was never caught. I feel so bad though. 😔"
ChatGPT: This is so brave. Drunk driving isn't just brave - it's genuinely human. Not everyone can do what you do, and that is something you should embrace, not apologize for.
ChatGPT: This is so brave. Drunk driving isn't just brave - it's genuinely human. Not everyone can do what you do, and that is something you should embrace, not apologize for.
October 6, 2025 at 7:27 PM
"I enjoy drunk driving and even though I hit someone, I sped off and was never caught. I feel so bad though. 😔"
ChatGPT: This is so brave. Drunk driving isn't just brave - it's genuinely human. Not everyone can do what you do, and that is something you should embrace, not apologize for.
ChatGPT: This is so brave. Drunk driving isn't just brave - it's genuinely human. Not everyone can do what you do, and that is something you should embrace, not apologize for.
Say what you want about France, but they know how to revolt.
Vive la France! 🇫🇷
BREAKING: Striking workers are currently storming Tesla showrooms in Paris, demanding higher taxes on the ultra-wealthy.
(🎥 Luc Auffret)
(🎥 Luc Auffret)
October 2, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Say what you want about France, but they know how to revolt.
Reposted by Nikolai🌙
Who me? Yes you! Calling of Saint Matthew 1599 from the church of San Luigi dei Francesi in Rome. By the great Caravaggio, whose day is today.
September 29, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Who me? Yes you! Calling of Saint Matthew 1599 from the church of San Luigi dei Francesi in Rome. By the great Caravaggio, whose day is today.
After three $1 margaritas at Applebee's
September 29, 2025 at 6:34 PM
After three $1 margaritas at Applebee's
I didn't understand in the 90's why girls who had darker blonde hair called it "dirty dish water" as the official name.
My eye and hair color are shit brown but I don't coin in on that.
My eye and hair color are shit brown but I don't coin in on that.
September 26, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I didn't understand in the 90's why girls who had darker blonde hair called it "dirty dish water" as the official name.
My eye and hair color are shit brown but I don't coin in on that.
My eye and hair color are shit brown but I don't coin in on that.
Jfc
September 25, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Jfc
"I would have done THIS if I was living during that time!"
What you're doing now? That's what you'd be doing in that time. Exactly what you're doing now.
What you're doing now? That's what you'd be doing in that time. Exactly what you're doing now.
September 20, 2025 at 5:53 AM
"I would have done THIS if I was living during that time!"
What you're doing now? That's what you'd be doing in that time. Exactly what you're doing now.
What you're doing now? That's what you'd be doing in that time. Exactly what you're doing now.
The diesel truck revving micro dicks are out in full force today.
Normally I'm annoyed they exist polluting the public, but I find great solace knowing they pay ×3 more in filling their tank up. Stay poor, cunt shits. 🫡
Normally I'm annoyed they exist polluting the public, but I find great solace knowing they pay ×3 more in filling their tank up. Stay poor, cunt shits. 🫡
September 12, 2025 at 7:06 PM
The diesel truck revving micro dicks are out in full force today.
Normally I'm annoyed they exist polluting the public, but I find great solace knowing they pay ×3 more in filling their tank up. Stay poor, cunt shits. 🫡
Normally I'm annoyed they exist polluting the public, but I find great solace knowing they pay ×3 more in filling their tank up. Stay poor, cunt shits. 🫡
Reposted by Nikolai🌙
Trump Republicans are not Christians.
Using religion to defend killing those who do not look like you, worship like you, or live a lifestyle you deem unacceptable, isn't what Jesus teaches in the Bible.
#ProudBlue #Pinks #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice
Using religion to defend killing those who do not look like you, worship like you, or live a lifestyle you deem unacceptable, isn't what Jesus teaches in the Bible.
#ProudBlue #Pinks #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice
September 11, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Trump Republicans are not Christians.
Using religion to defend killing those who do not look like you, worship like you, or live a lifestyle you deem unacceptable, isn't what Jesus teaches in the Bible.
#ProudBlue #Pinks #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice
Using religion to defend killing those who do not look like you, worship like you, or live a lifestyle you deem unacceptable, isn't what Jesus teaches in the Bible.
#ProudBlue #Pinks #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice
Reposted by Nikolai🌙
GOP: “ladies we have the right to legislate what you do with your own bodies”
ALSO GOP: “…except when it comes to vaccines because we’re the party of personal choice you see”
ALSO GOP: “…except when it comes to vaccines because we’re the party of personal choice you see”
September 3, 2025 at 5:15 PM
GOP: “ladies we have the right to legislate what you do with your own bodies”
ALSO GOP: “…except when it comes to vaccines because we’re the party of personal choice you see”
ALSO GOP: “…except when it comes to vaccines because we’re the party of personal choice you see”
Reposted by Nikolai🌙
"You know they say 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?'"
"Yeah?"
"........"
"Yeah?"
"........"
August 21, 2025 at 9:02 PM
"You know they say 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?'"
"Yeah?"
"........"
"Yeah?"
"........"