Van Hammer
@vanhammer.bsky.social
Bisexual disaster with lots of opinions and full of shit. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Gamer Nerd Tinker Hobbyist
Idiot with a screwdriver 🪛
Gamer Nerd Tinker Hobbyist
Idiot with a screwdriver 🪛
Would it be too blasphemous to create a Star Wars 5e statblock for the USS Enterprise?
November 3, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Would it be too blasphemous to create a Star Wars 5e statblock for the USS Enterprise?
Reposted by Van Hammer
[sneeze one]
bless you
[sneeze two]
bless you
[sneeze three]
you are under arrest
bless you
[sneeze two]
bless you
[sneeze three]
you are under arrest
August 31, 2025 at 7:15 PM
[sneeze one]
bless you
[sneeze two]
bless you
[sneeze three]
you are under arrest
bless you
[sneeze two]
bless you
[sneeze three]
you are under arrest
Reposted by Van Hammer
when i was 13 years old i saw pitch black and the chronicles of riddick & i thought richard b riddick was the coolest guy you could possibly imagine and i was right, ive never changed my opinion
July 25, 2025 at 1:55 PM
when i was 13 years old i saw pitch black and the chronicles of riddick & i thought richard b riddick was the coolest guy you could possibly imagine and i was right, ive never changed my opinion
Reposted by Van Hammer
I don’t want to work. I want to eat Pizza Rolls and play video games all day.
July 16, 2025 at 3:49 PM
I don’t want to work. I want to eat Pizza Rolls and play video games all day.
Reposted by Van Hammer
Reposted by Van Hammer
With the amount of hairs falling out of my head daily, it's amazing I haven't been implicated in any local crime scenes.
June 30, 2025 at 12:28 PM
With the amount of hairs falling out of my head daily, it's amazing I haven't been implicated in any local crime scenes.
Reposted by Van Hammer
“From The Depths,” William Balfour Ker
June 30, 2025 at 3:51 PM
“From The Depths,” William Balfour Ker
Reposted by Van Hammer
Good morning, just a reminder that an entire system was built on our insecurities, profits off them, and charges us excessive amounts for the “fixes” they create but what’s really expensive is the time we spend chasing a fix because we don’t get time back.
June 27, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Good morning, just a reminder that an entire system was built on our insecurities, profits off them, and charges us excessive amounts for the “fixes” they create but what’s really expensive is the time we spend chasing a fix because we don’t get time back.
Reposted by Van Hammer
Morning y'all & happy Fridayyy! ☕️🥱
Hope everyone has a great weekend! ✨🖤
Hope everyone has a great weekend! ✨🖤
June 27, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Morning y'all & happy Fridayyy! ☕️🥱
Hope everyone has a great weekend! ✨🖤
Hope everyone has a great weekend! ✨🖤
Reposted by Van Hammer
DM: Ready to play?
Player: Yep! Quick question, do we use encumbrance?
DM: Not in my games, no.
Player: Okie dokie!
DM: The only weight you have to deal with is the weight of your actions.
#DnD
Player: Yep! Quick question, do we use encumbrance?
DM: Not in my games, no.
Player: Okie dokie!
DM: The only weight you have to deal with is the weight of your actions.
#DnD
June 25, 2025 at 2:53 PM
DM: Ready to play?
Player: Yep! Quick question, do we use encumbrance?
DM: Not in my games, no.
Player: Okie dokie!
DM: The only weight you have to deal with is the weight of your actions.
#DnD
Player: Yep! Quick question, do we use encumbrance?
DM: Not in my games, no.
Player: Okie dokie!
DM: The only weight you have to deal with is the weight of your actions.
#DnD
Reposted by Van Hammer
Reposted by Van Hammer
When you discover a year-old potato in the back of the pantry cupboard:
June 20, 2025 at 1:32 PM
When you discover a year-old potato in the back of the pantry cupboard:
Reposted by Van Hammer
Good morning friends 🫶🏻💜
June 20, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Good morning friends 🫶🏻💜
Reposted by Van Hammer
Reposted by Van Hammer
Chances are the FBI agent that monitors you is getting fired soon.
Soon it'll be time for you to look up how to make tannerite.
Soon it'll be time for you to look up how to make tannerite.
March 8, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Chances are the FBI agent that monitors you is getting fired soon.
Soon it'll be time for you to look up how to make tannerite.
Soon it'll be time for you to look up how to make tannerite.
Reposted by Van Hammer
MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS THIS WEEK
1. Consciousness
2. Respiration
3. I petted several cats
4. Consumed pizza
5. Strategic AND tactical napping
1. Consciousness
2. Respiration
3. I petted several cats
4. Consumed pizza
5. Strategic AND tactical napping
February 23, 2025 at 7:18 PM
MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS THIS WEEK
1. Consciousness
2. Respiration
3. I petted several cats
4. Consumed pizza
5. Strategic AND tactical napping
1. Consciousness
2. Respiration
3. I petted several cats
4. Consumed pizza
5. Strategic AND tactical napping
Reposted by Van Hammer
craving another piercing…..
February 20, 2025 at 11:39 PM
craving another piercing…..
Reposted by Van Hammer
if anyone could do anything about any of this that’d be so appreciated
February 21, 2025 at 12:01 AM
if anyone could do anything about any of this that’d be so appreciated
Reposted by Van Hammer
National egg shortage
(they all finally started taking hrt)
(they all finally started taking hrt)
February 8, 2025 at 2:07 AM
National egg shortage
(they all finally started taking hrt)
(they all finally started taking hrt)
Reposted by Van Hammer
When @resist.bot asks you for a prompt so it can write you a letter to send to your senators
(But jokes aside, it generated a wonderfully-worded and professional letter and you should all do this right now)
(But jokes aside, it generated a wonderfully-worded and professional letter and you should all do this right now)
February 3, 2025 at 11:54 PM
When @resist.bot asks you for a prompt so it can write you a letter to send to your senators
(But jokes aside, it generated a wonderfully-worded and professional letter and you should all do this right now)
(But jokes aside, it generated a wonderfully-worded and professional letter and you should all do this right now)
Reposted by Van Hammer
Captain Marvel 🌟
(Avengers United Infinity Comic #6 - Derek Landy, Phillip Sevy, Erick Arciniega, and Joe Sabino)
#CaptainMarvel #CarolDanvers
#Avengers #Marvel #MarvelComics
(Avengers United Infinity Comic #6 - Derek Landy, Phillip Sevy, Erick Arciniega, and Joe Sabino)
#CaptainMarvel #CarolDanvers
#Avengers #Marvel #MarvelComics
January 25, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Captain Marvel 🌟
(Avengers United Infinity Comic #6 - Derek Landy, Phillip Sevy, Erick Arciniega, and Joe Sabino)
#CaptainMarvel #CarolDanvers
#Avengers #Marvel #MarvelComics
(Avengers United Infinity Comic #6 - Derek Landy, Phillip Sevy, Erick Arciniega, and Joe Sabino)
#CaptainMarvel #CarolDanvers
#Avengers #Marvel #MarvelComics
Reposted by Van Hammer
I did this the last time the Tangerine Shitgoblin took office. It offended many, many horrible people… including David Duke, who was so mad, he Tweeted about it 3 times in 24 hours.
I’m currently working on a new version.
I’m currently working on a new version.
January 21, 2025 at 9:11 PM
I did this the last time the Tangerine Shitgoblin took office. It offended many, many horrible people… including David Duke, who was so mad, he Tweeted about it 3 times in 24 hours.
I’m currently working on a new version.
I’m currently working on a new version.
Reposted by Van Hammer
Reposted by Van Hammer
hey boss sorry i’m late it’s just that humanity was a mistake
January 14, 2025 at 12:25 PM
hey boss sorry i’m late it’s just that humanity was a mistake
Reposted by Van Hammer
Pin-up gothic armour girl Ebenholz
January 13, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Pin-up gothic armour girl Ebenholz