Platter of birria tacos, wish it were fancier but tasted fancy enough

Ask me how far something looks to me and I couldn’t tell you. But ask me to describe it in golf terms and I’ll tell you I can get there with a 7 iron

You know those tubes that they move salmon in from the hatchery to the lake? I just realized what they meant by Chuting fish in a barrel

No one wears their hair over their ears the way Jason Bateman does it

There a point in your life where you’re getting older and the more you’re listening to “older people” music like jazz and the more you hear where the rap samples came from

The drama we have in our family is too many simultaneous poopers and not enough toilets

In my day, Nazi zombies were universally accepted as the bad guys