Turduckenwrath
@turduckenwrath.bsky.social
the “turd” is still silent
Pinned
it doesn’t have to be the perfect crime, just an unsolvable one.
-me, as a therapist
-me, as a therapist
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
Happy Birthday Dolly Parton 🤗 🎂 🎉
January 19, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Happy Birthday Dolly Parton 🤗 🎂 🎉
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
I made cupcakes and I ate them. No reason, no celebration, just because I could.
January 18, 2025 at 9:34 PM
I made cupcakes and I ate them. No reason, no celebration, just because I could.
The punishment for ID theft should be if they take your info, now they’re all in they get the WHOLE identity
So you got my tiny checking account… but you also go my student loans, collections, parking tickets, child support, crazy exes
Like go big or go home
So you got my tiny checking account… but you also go my student loans, collections, parking tickets, child support, crazy exes
Like go big or go home
January 5, 2025 at 2:43 AM
The punishment for ID theft should be if they take your info, now they’re all in they get the WHOLE identity
So you got my tiny checking account… but you also go my student loans, collections, parking tickets, child support, crazy exes
Like go big or go home
So you got my tiny checking account… but you also go my student loans, collections, parking tickets, child support, crazy exes
Like go big or go home
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it
it’s clear
My world crumbles when muffins are near
#halfbakedsongs
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it
it’s clear
My world crumbles when muffins are near
#halfbakedsongs
January 3, 2025 at 8:40 PM
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it
it’s clear
My world crumbles when muffins are near
#halfbakedsongs
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it
it’s clear
My world crumbles when muffins are near
#halfbakedsongs
Wake me up before you risotto
#halfbakedsongs
#halfbakedsongs
January 3, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Wake me up before you risotto
#halfbakedsongs
#halfbakedsongs
You are out of lives! Do you really want to give up?!
touché, Candy Crush, touché
touché, Candy Crush, touché
a girl in a pink dress is standing in front of a surprise sign
ALT: a girl in a pink dress is standing in front of a surprise sign
media.tenor.com
December 26, 2024 at 3:15 AM
You are out of lives! Do you really want to give up?!
touché, Candy Crush, touché
touché, Candy Crush, touché
#OtherThanToysSantaCanBring me one last fuck to give
December 23, 2024 at 4:24 AM
#OtherThanToysSantaCanBring me one last fuck to give
I’m at the “only naughty panties left to wear” stage of laundry avoidance.
December 23, 2024 at 4:21 AM
I’m at the “only naughty panties left to wear” stage of laundry avoidance.
December 21, 2024 at 11:58 PM
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.
December 17, 2024 at 3:02 AM
Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
Castlevania lied to me. I ate the whole roasted chicken I found inside my wall and now I'm sick as hell.
December 14, 2024 at 9:21 AM
Castlevania lied to me. I ate the whole roasted chicken I found inside my wall and now I'm sick as hell.
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
We DO NOT throw perfectly good food away in this house.
We put leftovers in a Tupperware & let it go bad, THEN throw it out!
We put leftovers in a Tupperware & let it go bad, THEN throw it out!
December 13, 2024 at 9:47 PM
We DO NOT throw perfectly good food away in this house.
We put leftovers in a Tupperware & let it go bad, THEN throw it out!
We put leftovers in a Tupperware & let it go bad, THEN throw it out!
Not me wanting to thank chatgpt when it does a good job answering my questions 🤦♀️
December 14, 2024 at 12:17 PM
Not me wanting to thank chatgpt when it does a good job answering my questions 🤦♀️
#InsteadOfCookiesILeftSanta ChaCha Heels
Heels Cha Cha Heels GIF
ALT: Heels Cha Cha Heels GIF
media.tenor.com
December 11, 2024 at 3:16 AM
#InsteadOfCookiesILeftSanta ChaCha Heels
#InsteadofcookiesILeftSanta a piece of my mind
a woman in a pink jacket says " can i speak to the manager ? "
ALT: a woman in a pink jacket says " can i speak to the manager ? "
media.tenor.com
December 11, 2024 at 3:15 AM
#InsteadofcookiesILeftSanta a piece of my mind
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
The Costco sample lady called spanakopita 'spankopedia' and I'm still disappointed it turned out to be a spinach thing
December 9, 2024 at 1:44 PM
The Costco sample lady called spanakopita 'spankopedia' and I'm still disappointed it turned out to be a spinach thing
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
I'm going to tell you guys what I tell my clients:
I've never met a stupid person with anxiety.
I've never met a stupid person with anxiety.
December 9, 2024 at 3:52 PM
I'm going to tell you guys what I tell my clients:
I've never met a stupid person with anxiety.
I've never met a stupid person with anxiety.
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
December 10, 2024 at 2:32 AM
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
Sorry babe not tonight, I’m pondering my orb
December 10, 2024 at 3:00 AM
Sorry babe not tonight, I’m pondering my orb
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
If you play The Grinch backward, his heart shrinks after interacting with people and that’s a lot more accurate.
December 8, 2024 at 1:12 AM
If you play The Grinch backward, his heart shrinks after interacting with people and that’s a lot more accurate.
Reposted by Turduckenwrath
I guess the original name, 'brown ennui,' was too on-the-nose
December 7, 2024 at 11:13 PM
I guess the original name, 'brown ennui,' was too on-the-nose
My dog being a perfect angel for the dog trainer, making ME seem like the one with a jumping problem #IsLikeAPunchInTheFace
a dog on a leash is standing next to a woman on a blue carpet with #dog thanking written on the bottom
ALT: a dog on a leash is standing next to a woman on a blue carpet with #dog thanking written on the bottom
media.tenor.com
December 7, 2024 at 11:46 PM
My dog being a perfect angel for the dog trainer, making ME seem like the one with a jumping problem #IsLikeAPunchInTheFace
Walking into the bathroom at the fairgrounds around 3pm in the summer heat #IsLikeAPunchInTheFace
a woman is leaning against a wall in a bathroom next to a toilet
ALT: a woman is leaning against a wall in a bathroom next to a toilet
media.tenor.com
December 7, 2024 at 11:41 PM
Walking into the bathroom at the fairgrounds around 3pm in the summer heat #IsLikeAPunchInTheFace
Being the duck in a Turducken #IsLikeAPunchInTheFace
a man in a suit and tie says bunch of birds shoved up inside each other shouldn 't play god like that
ALT: a man in a suit and tie says bunch of birds shoved up inside each other shouldn 't play god like that
media.tenor.com
December 7, 2024 at 11:23 PM
Being the duck in a Turducken #IsLikeAPunchInTheFace