Trevor Hale
@trevorhale.bsky.social
I’m retired. I invented dice when I was a kid.
trevorhale.substack.com
trevorhale.substack.com
Time once again for my annual Small Business Saturday request that places with an actual storefront PUT YOUR GOD DAMN ADDRESS IN YOUR BIO.
It’s *shocking* how hard some of you make it to find where your store is located.
It’s *shocking* how hard some of you make it to find where your store is located.
November 29, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Time once again for my annual Small Business Saturday request that places with an actual storefront PUT YOUR GOD DAMN ADDRESS IN YOUR BIO.
It’s *shocking* how hard some of you make it to find where your store is located.
It’s *shocking* how hard some of you make it to find where your store is located.
Thinking of becoming a Punisher-style vigilante where I just wander the city stealing the cars of DoorDash drivers that are parked like assholes.
November 20, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Thinking of becoming a Punisher-style vigilante where I just wander the city stealing the cars of DoorDash drivers that are parked like assholes.
McAfee is also the leader of my least favorite group of people: men who wear tank tops in public.
It's astounding how consistent this is:
Every photo of Pat McAfee makes him look like the only guy in the movie theater who doesn't understand the big plot twist
Every photo of Pat McAfee makes him look like the only guy in the movie theater who doesn't understand the big plot twist
November 18, 2025 at 9:14 PM
McAfee is also the leader of my least favorite group of people: men who wear tank tops in public.
It’s that time of year again where every night I look at the clock around midnight only to discover it’s like 5:42pm.
November 10, 2025 at 11:53 PM
It’s that time of year again where every night I look at the clock around midnight only to discover it’s like 5:42pm.
The day started with Dick Cheney dying and just kept getting better.
November 5, 2025 at 5:00 AM
The day started with Dick Cheney dying and just kept getting better.
Just learned that it’s been six years since IG removed the “following” tab that ruined all the fun, but also stopped all of us from hurting our own feelings. RIP.
October 10, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Just learned that it’s been six years since IG removed the “following” tab that ruined all the fun, but also stopped all of us from hurting our own feelings. RIP.
Me, when my ear finally pops after having a head cold for three days.
a close up of a man 's face with a beard making a funny face
Alt: a close up of a man’s face with a beard screaming in agonizing delight.
media.tenor.com
October 8, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Me, when my ear finally pops after having a head cold for three days.
The day the rapture came
A forgettable event
The clouds, they opened up
And not a single person went
To the chromatic whistle of a carousel calliope
Stomp the citizens of our clown, idiot, dingbat society
youtu.be/wTANmHJhbF8?...
A forgettable event
The clouds, they opened up
And not a single person went
To the chromatic whistle of a carousel calliope
Stomp the citizens of our clown, idiot, dingbat society
youtu.be/wTANmHJhbF8?...
Propagandhi - "Victory Lap"
YouTube video by Epitaph Records
youtu.be
September 23, 2025 at 5:00 AM
The day the rapture came
A forgettable event
The clouds, they opened up
And not a single person went
To the chromatic whistle of a carousel calliope
Stomp the citizens of our clown, idiot, dingbat society
youtu.be/wTANmHJhbF8?...
A forgettable event
The clouds, they opened up
And not a single person went
To the chromatic whistle of a carousel calliope
Stomp the citizens of our clown, idiot, dingbat society
youtu.be/wTANmHJhbF8?...
I got surprisingly emotional listening to Marc Maron talk about ending his show.
June 4, 2025 at 8:46 PM
I got surprisingly emotional listening to Marc Maron talk about ending his show.
Politicians are the dumbest people alive.
i don't think we fully appreciate how funny the outcome of this is going to be
May 29, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Politicians are the dumbest people alive.
People on TikTok are like “I have the hottest tea if you live in Utah…” and it’s just something that was in both newspapers and the top story on every local news social media account.
May 9, 2025 at 11:48 PM
People on TikTok are like “I have the hottest tea if you live in Utah…” and it’s just something that was in both newspapers and the top story on every local news social media account.
Getting used to wearing my hearing aids regularly again (had to get new ones), and now I have the misfortune of having to actually hear things. Crazy that y’all have to do this all the time.
May 4, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Getting used to wearing my hearing aids regularly again (had to get new ones), and now I have the misfortune of having to actually hear things. Crazy that y’all have to do this all the time.
Just realized (because of the Post Malone show) that the only real upside to the Bees moving to Daybreak is that I don’t have to hear fireworks every three days all summer.
April 30, 2025 at 5:31 AM
Just realized (because of the Post Malone show) that the only real upside to the Bees moving to Daybreak is that I don’t have to hear fireworks every three days all summer.
The world is mostly bad, but at least I have the story of a little orange cat named Garbanzo to bring some joy.
April 16, 2025 at 11:59 PM
The world is mostly bad, but at least I have the story of a little orange cat named Garbanzo to bring some joy.
I don’t watch actual movies anymore, I only watch YouTube reaction videos for movies I’ve seen one thousand times.
April 2, 2025 at 4:17 AM
I don’t watch actual movies anymore, I only watch YouTube reaction videos for movies I’ve seen one thousand times.
It’s good that Twitter/FB weren’t around back then, but I would have LOVED to see the internet meltdowns and hot takes when Madonna released TRUTH OR DARE in 1991.
March 18, 2025 at 7:24 PM
It’s good that Twitter/FB weren’t around back then, but I would have LOVED to see the internet meltdowns and hot takes when Madonna released TRUTH OR DARE in 1991.
“Life Coach” and “Consultant” are the two biggest scams jobs out there and I desperately want to be part of that racket.
March 13, 2025 at 4:18 AM
“Life Coach” and “Consultant” are the two biggest scams jobs out there and I desperately want to be part of that racket.
I was mad about this for a full minute before I realized it was The Onion.
DNC Aiming To Reconnect With Working-Class Americans With New ‘Hamilton’-Inspired Lena Dunham Web Series
DNC Aiming To Reconnect With Working-Class Americans With New ‘Hamilton’-Inspired Lena Dunham Web Series
WASHINGTON—Saying the new effort would help them make critical inroads with low-income rural voters following a stunning election loss last week, the Democratic National Committee announced the launch...
theonion.com
February 19, 2025 at 10:34 PM
I was mad about this for a full minute before I realized it was The Onion.
I watched all of Kevin Smith's movies again. I still do not enjoy TUSK.
I ASSURE YOU, WE'RE OPEN
In which I work my way through Kevin Smith's surprisingly prolific catalogue.
open.substack.com
February 10, 2025 at 10:37 PM
I watched all of Kevin Smith's movies again. I still do not enjoy TUSK.
I’m happy to see that no matter how popular HC becomes, it will be forever impossible to make a slick music video that’s not wildly embarrassing.
January 31, 2025 at 10:13 PM
I’m happy to see that no matter how popular HC becomes, it will be forever impossible to make a slick music video that’s not wildly embarrassing.
My face, every time Ticketmaster said “These seats are no longer available.”
January 29, 2025 at 7:39 PM
My face, every time Ticketmaster said “These seats are no longer available.”
I drank two Red Bulls on my drive home from Las Vegas last night, which is two more than I’ve ever had before in my life, and I thought my heart was going to explode.
January 28, 2025 at 4:43 AM
I drank two Red Bulls on my drive home from Las Vegas last night, which is two more than I’ve ever had before in my life, and I thought my heart was going to explode.
My biggest problem with blocking all the dorks in the new administration on social media is that now I can’t see who else is following them. That used to be my vetting process for people I might have to work with.
January 26, 2025 at 7:54 AM
My biggest problem with blocking all the dorks in the new administration on social media is that now I can’t see who else is following them. That used to be my vetting process for people I might have to work with.
I feel like he left a few things out of that second paragraph, but that’s probably part of the problem.
January 24, 2025 at 12:11 AM
I feel like he left a few things out of that second paragraph, but that’s probably part of the problem.