The Grey Rainbow
@thegreyrainbow.bsky.social
The blogged musings of a middle aged demisexual man. Exploring the challenges and joys of being aspec. No longer updated and will be deleted some time in 2026. Please see pinned.
he/him
therainbowisgrey.wordpress.com
Main account: @chaoticauthor.online
he/him
therainbowisgrey.wordpress.com
Main account: @chaoticauthor.online
Pinned
I will no longer update this BlueSky account. Unlikely I'll ever write a post for the blog again.
ICYMI, I have terminal cancer and wish to use whatever writing time I have left for my fiction.
I write mixed genre horror and fantasy.
Follow me over at @chaoticauthor.online
ICYMI, I have terminal cancer and wish to use whatever writing time I have left for my fiction.
I write mixed genre horror and fantasy.
Follow me over at @chaoticauthor.online
I will no longer update this BlueSky account. Unlikely I'll ever write a post for the blog again.
ICYMI, I have terminal cancer and wish to use whatever writing time I have left for my fiction.
I write mixed genre horror and fantasy.
Follow me over at @chaoticauthor.online
ICYMI, I have terminal cancer and wish to use whatever writing time I have left for my fiction.
I write mixed genre horror and fantasy.
Follow me over at @chaoticauthor.online
November 8, 2025 at 10:52 PM
I will no longer update this BlueSky account. Unlikely I'll ever write a post for the blog again.
ICYMI, I have terminal cancer and wish to use whatever writing time I have left for my fiction.
I write mixed genre horror and fantasy.
Follow me over at @chaoticauthor.online
ICYMI, I have terminal cancer and wish to use whatever writing time I have left for my fiction.
I write mixed genre horror and fantasy.
Follow me over at @chaoticauthor.online
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
Today begins Asexual Awareness Week, my favorite week. Finding out I'm asexual was a godsend. When I discovered I'm asexual at age 26, I finally felt like the puzzle pieces fit together. The Ace community helped give me the words to understand myself. I'm forever grateful to the Ace Community!
a person holding a purple and black flag in a grassy field
ALT: a person holding a purple and black flag in a grassy field
media.tenor.com
October 19, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Today begins Asexual Awareness Week, my favorite week. Finding out I'm asexual was a godsend. When I discovered I'm asexual at age 26, I finally felt like the puzzle pieces fit together. The Ace community helped give me the words to understand myself. I'm forever grateful to the Ace Community!
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
So important!
We all get along better when we understand and empathize with the complexity of humans versus trying to shove people in little boxes they don’t fit in.
We all get along better when we understand and empathize with the complexity of humans versus trying to shove people in little boxes they don’t fit in.
#AceWeek
Men's voices are often overlooked in this community. I write about my own experiences to show other men out there who are ace/demi or think they might be ace/demi, that they are not alone. They are not broken or weird for not feeling what the men around them seem to feel.
Society 1/2
Men's voices are often overlooked in this community. I write about my own experiences to show other men out there who are ace/demi or think they might be ace/demi, that they are not alone. They are not broken or weird for not feeling what the men around them seem to feel.
Society 1/2
October 19, 2025 at 3:12 PM
So important!
We all get along better when we understand and empathize with the complexity of humans versus trying to shove people in little boxes they don’t fit in.
We all get along better when we understand and empathize with the complexity of humans versus trying to shove people in little boxes they don’t fit in.
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
For #aceweek, I would like people to know that demisexuals are ace-spec. I have only liked two people (that I knew for two years before attraction started) in my entire life. Outside of that, I don't really get attraction and have always felt out of place. Why shouldn't I count as ace then?
October 19, 2025 at 2:17 PM
For #aceweek, I would like people to know that demisexuals are ace-spec. I have only liked two people (that I knew for two years before attraction started) in my entire life. Outside of that, I don't really get attraction and have always felt out of place. Why shouldn't I count as ace then?
#AceWeek
Men's voices are often overlooked in this community. I write about my own experiences to show other men out there who are ace/demi or think they might be ace/demi, that they are not alone. They are not broken or weird for not feeling what the men around them seem to feel.
Society 1/2
Men's voices are often overlooked in this community. I write about my own experiences to show other men out there who are ace/demi or think they might be ace/demi, that they are not alone. They are not broken or weird for not feeling what the men around them seem to feel.
Society 1/2
October 19, 2025 at 1:42 PM
#AceWeek
Men's voices are often overlooked in this community. I write about my own experiences to show other men out there who are ace/demi or think they might be ace/demi, that they are not alone. They are not broken or weird for not feeling what the men around them seem to feel.
Society 1/2
Men's voices are often overlooked in this community. I write about my own experiences to show other men out there who are ace/demi or think they might be ace/demi, that they are not alone. They are not broken or weird for not feeling what the men around them seem to feel.
Society 1/2
Hear, hear.
Hey it’s #AceWeek! 🖤🩶🤍💜
More people should realize that asexual advocacy isn’t just “people trying so hard to be oppressed becauss they’re loudly single.”
🧵 🪡 1 / 7
More people should realize that asexual advocacy isn’t just “people trying so hard to be oppressed becauss they’re loudly single.”
🧵 🪡 1 / 7
October 19, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Hear, hear.
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
Hey it’s #AceWeek! 🖤🩶🤍💜
More people should realize that asexual advocacy isn’t just “people trying so hard to be oppressed becauss they’re loudly single.”
🧵 🪡 1 / 7
More people should realize that asexual advocacy isn’t just “people trying so hard to be oppressed becauss they’re loudly single.”
🧵 🪡 1 / 7
October 19, 2025 at 10:35 AM
Hey it’s #AceWeek! 🖤🩶🤍💜
More people should realize that asexual advocacy isn’t just “people trying so hard to be oppressed becauss they’re loudly single.”
🧵 🪡 1 / 7
More people should realize that asexual advocacy isn’t just “people trying so hard to be oppressed becauss they’re loudly single.”
🧵 🪡 1 / 7
For those who don't follow my main account... 🧵
TL;DR version is that I was hospitalised on Monday with suspected appendicitis. But I have cancer of the pancreas
TL;DR version is that I was hospitalised on Monday with suspected appendicitis. But I have cancer of the pancreas
THE POST I NEVER WANTED TO WRITE
On Monday I was hospitalised after having severe abdominal cramps, no appetite, a mild fever and a racing pulse. After a CT scan a couple of days ago, it seems I have pancreatic cancer.
They're keeping me in until Monday for a full biopsy and then see where 1/3
On Monday I was hospitalised after having severe abdominal cramps, no appetite, a mild fever and a racing pulse. After a CT scan a couple of days ago, it seems I have pancreatic cancer.
They're keeping me in until Monday for a full biopsy and then see where 1/3
October 11, 2025 at 9:33 AM
For those who don't follow my main account... 🧵
TL;DR version is that I was hospitalised on Monday with suspected appendicitis. But I have cancer of the pancreas
TL;DR version is that I was hospitalised on Monday with suspected appendicitis. But I have cancer of the pancreas
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
For almost 25 years, AVEN has been working to help ace and aro people across the globe understand themselves and promote open, honest public understanding of our experience. In that time we've had a tremendous impact, and we're asking for your support to fund the next two years of our work.
October 6, 2025 at 6:40 PM
For almost 25 years, AVEN has been working to help ace and aro people across the globe understand themselves and promote open, honest public understanding of our experience. In that time we've had a tremendous impact, and we're asking for your support to fund the next two years of our work.
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
When we understand that our history is diverse, it changes our outlook. I hope that this Black History Month, we all take the time to uncover the history lessons we were denied in school
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/how-many-more-generations-will-be-denied-black-queer-history-before-we-take-action/
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/how-many-more-generations-will-be-denied-black-queer-history-before-we-take-action/
How many more generations will be denied Black queer history before we take action?
When we understand that our history is diverse, it changes our outlook. I hope that this Black History Month, we all take the time to uncover the history lessons we were denied in school
www.wearequeeraf.com
October 6, 2025 at 8:05 AM
When we understand that our history is diverse, it changes our outlook. I hope that this Black History Month, we all take the time to uncover the history lessons we were denied in school
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/how-many-more-generations-will-be-denied-black-queer-history-before-we-take-action/
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/how-many-more-generations-will-be-denied-black-queer-history-before-we-take-action/
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
At long last, here is my take on Interview with the Vampire, queer time, and the existential horrors of asexual yearning. It also happens to be my 50th blog post (though it’s become a full-length essay)!
🩸🍷💀 🖤 🧛♀️
worrydollsandfloatinglights.wordpress.com/2025/10/01/i...
🩸🍷💀 🖤 🧛♀️
worrydollsandfloatinglights.wordpress.com/2025/10/01/i...
Interview with the Vampire and Asexual Loneliness
“I can tell you about it, enclose it with words that will make the value of it to me evident to you. But I can’t tell you exactly, any more than I could tell you exactly what is the exp…
worrydollsandfloatinglights.wordpress.com
October 1, 2025 at 8:21 AM
At long last, here is my take on Interview with the Vampire, queer time, and the existential horrors of asexual yearning. It also happens to be my 50th blog post (though it’s become a full-length essay)!
🩸🍷💀 🖤 🧛♀️
worrydollsandfloatinglights.wordpress.com/2025/10/01/i...
🩸🍷💀 🖤 🧛♀️
worrydollsandfloatinglights.wordpress.com/2025/10/01/i...
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
I love this thorough review of Being Demi from @aspiraldance.bsky.social! Thank you so much, Amanda.
This poetry and essay collection chronicles my demisexual coming out journey. Five days until release...
🌈🖊️💻
aspiraldance.com/ad-review-of-being-demi-by-mg-mason/
This poetry and essay collection chronicles my demisexual coming out journey. Five days until release...
🌈🖊️💻
aspiraldance.com/ad-review-of-being-demi-by-mg-mason/
AD| Review of Being Demi by MG Mason - A Spiral Dance
Being Demi is a short but powerful read full of poems and essays about coming out as demisexual later in life.
aspiraldance.com
September 26, 2025 at 8:20 PM
I love this thorough review of Being Demi from @aspiraldance.bsky.social! Thank you so much, Amanda.
This poetry and essay collection chronicles my demisexual coming out journey. Five days until release...
🌈🖊️💻
aspiraldance.com/ad-review-of-being-demi-by-mg-mason/
This poetry and essay collection chronicles my demisexual coming out journey. Five days until release...
🌈🖊️💻
aspiraldance.com/ad-review-of-being-demi-by-mg-mason/
My poetry and essay collection is out today!
Check out the buying links...
Check out the buying links...
RELEASE DAY! Demisexuality is a complex little understood sexuality, often confused with idealised social expectations.
This short collection of poems and essays is my story.
🌈📚💙📚👀📢📚💙📚🪐♠️🌈📚
mybook.to/beingdemi
books2read.com/beingdemi
ko-fi.com/s/5458cdcfdf
onechaoticauthor.itch.io/being-demi
This short collection of poems and essays is my story.
🌈📚💙📚👀📢📚💙📚🪐♠️🌈📚
mybook.to/beingdemi
books2read.com/beingdemi
ko-fi.com/s/5458cdcfdf
onechaoticauthor.itch.io/being-demi
October 1, 2025 at 8:38 AM
My poetry and essay collection is out today!
Check out the buying links...
Check out the buying links...
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
Eep! I have a new book out tomorrow 😍
This one is available wide from the start. Will also be available on Ko-Fi and Itch.
This one is available wide from the start. Will also be available on Ko-Fi and Itch.
Demisexuality: a complex little understood sexuality, often confused with idealised social expectations.
I came out three years ago. This collection of poems and essays is a personal and intimate look at my personal journey.
🌈📚💙📚👀📢📚💙📚🪐♠️🌈📚
PREORDER HERE
mybook.to/beingdemi
books2read.com/beingdemi
I came out three years ago. This collection of poems and essays is a personal and intimate look at my personal journey.
🌈📚💙📚👀📢📚💙📚🪐♠️🌈📚
PREORDER HERE
mybook.to/beingdemi
books2read.com/beingdemi
September 30, 2025 at 8:30 AM
Eep! I have a new book out tomorrow 😍
This one is available wide from the start. Will also be available on Ko-Fi and Itch.
This one is available wide from the start. Will also be available on Ko-Fi and Itch.
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
Asexuality is a spectrum, and all of us who fall somewhere on that spectrum have different relationships with sex and sexual attraction
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/asexuality-is-a-spectrum-that-answered-a-lifetime-of-questions/
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/asexuality-is-a-spectrum-that-answered-a-lifetime-of-questions/
Asexuality is a spectrum that answered a lifetime of questions
Asexuality is a spectrum, and all of us who fall somewhere on that spectrum have different relationships with sex and sexual attraction
www.wearequeeraf.com
September 30, 2025 at 8:10 AM
Asexuality is a spectrum, and all of us who fall somewhere on that spectrum have different relationships with sex and sexual attraction
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/asexuality-is-a-spectrum-that-answered-a-lifetime-of-questions/
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/asexuality-is-a-spectrum-that-answered-a-lifetime-of-questions/
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
Love this!
And wow I resonate deeply with that last takeaway about punishing self for crushes even if they’re queerplatonic, about wanting closeness with friends in a world that reduces and restricts what affection is allowed.
Thanks for sharing! Keeping an eye out for when this book comes out!
And wow I resonate deeply with that last takeaway about punishing self for crushes even if they’re queerplatonic, about wanting closeness with friends in a world that reduces and restricts what affection is allowed.
Thanks for sharing! Keeping an eye out for when this book comes out!
I love this thorough review of Being Demi from @aspiraldance.bsky.social! Thank you so much, Amanda.
This poetry and essay collection chronicles my demisexual coming out journey. Five days until release...
🌈🖊️💻
aspiraldance.com/ad-review-of-being-demi-by-mg-mason/
This poetry and essay collection chronicles my demisexual coming out journey. Five days until release...
🌈🖊️💻
aspiraldance.com/ad-review-of-being-demi-by-mg-mason/
AD| Review of Being Demi by MG Mason - A Spiral Dance
Being Demi is a short but powerful read full of poems and essays about coming out as demisexual later in life.
aspiraldance.com
September 27, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Love this!
And wow I resonate deeply with that last takeaway about punishing self for crushes even if they’re queerplatonic, about wanting closeness with friends in a world that reduces and restricts what affection is allowed.
Thanks for sharing! Keeping an eye out for when this book comes out!
And wow I resonate deeply with that last takeaway about punishing self for crushes even if they’re queerplatonic, about wanting closeness with friends in a world that reduces and restricts what affection is allowed.
Thanks for sharing! Keeping an eye out for when this book comes out!
I love this thorough review of Being Demi from @aspiraldance.bsky.social! Thank you so much, Amanda.
This poetry and essay collection chronicles my demisexual coming out journey. Five days until release...
🌈🖊️💻
aspiraldance.com/ad-review-of-being-demi-by-mg-mason/
This poetry and essay collection chronicles my demisexual coming out journey. Five days until release...
🌈🖊️💻
aspiraldance.com/ad-review-of-being-demi-by-mg-mason/
AD| Review of Being Demi by MG Mason - A Spiral Dance
Being Demi is a short but powerful read full of poems and essays about coming out as demisexual later in life.
aspiraldance.com
September 26, 2025 at 8:20 PM
I love this thorough review of Being Demi from @aspiraldance.bsky.social! Thank you so much, Amanda.
This poetry and essay collection chronicles my demisexual coming out journey. Five days until release...
🌈🖊️💻
aspiraldance.com/ad-review-of-being-demi-by-mg-mason/
This poetry and essay collection chronicles my demisexual coming out journey. Five days until release...
🌈🖊️💻
aspiraldance.com/ad-review-of-being-demi-by-mg-mason/
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
Being proud of your aspec identity can take a number of different forms.
"How do I feel pride in my asexuality when it's only created struggles?"
Pride can contain all of queerness's complexity.
open.substack.com
September 25, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Being proud of your aspec identity can take a number of different forms.
Reposted by The Grey Rainbow
A new investigation has revealed significant lobbying efforts by gender critical groups.
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/freedom-of-information-request-uncovers-gender-critical-bias-within-ehrc/
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/freedom-of-information-request-uncovers-gender-critical-bias-within-ehrc/
Freedom of information request uncovers gender critical bias within EHRC
A new investigation has revealed significant lobbying efforts by gender critical groups.
www.wearequeeraf.com
September 14, 2025 at 8:04 PM
A new investigation has revealed significant lobbying efforts by gender critical groups.
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/freedom-of-information-request-uncovers-gender-critical-bias-within-ehrc/
https://www.wearequeeraf.com/freedom-of-information-request-uncovers-gender-critical-bias-within-ehrc/
My article criticising Charlie Kirk's narrow definition of masculinity got 100 views overnight (I wrote it following his debates with Oxford and Cambridge students).
The reason why the article is now popular is unfortunate, because the subject (harmful social expectations placed on men) is the 1/2
The reason why the article is now popular is unfortunate, because the subject (harmful social expectations placed on men) is the 1/2
Charlie Kirk’s Definition of Masculinity is Everything That’s Wrong With It
Charlie Kirk was recently in Britain and given free reign to spout whatever nonsense came into his head.
therainbowisgrey.wordpress.com
September 11, 2025 at 7:34 AM
My article criticising Charlie Kirk's narrow definition of masculinity got 100 views overnight (I wrote it following his debates with Oxford and Cambridge students).
The reason why the article is now popular is unfortunate, because the subject (harmful social expectations placed on men) is the 1/2
The reason why the article is now popular is unfortunate, because the subject (harmful social expectations placed on men) is the 1/2
⬇️⬇️⬇️
I've just heard that Charlie Kirk has been shot and killed
One of the essays in my collection Being Demi was a critique of debates he had with Oxford and Cambridge students on masculinity
I'm going to replace the essay with something else on the same subject. I don't think it's appropriate to keep
One of the essays in my collection Being Demi was a critique of debates he had with Oxford and Cambridge students on masculinity
I'm going to replace the essay with something else on the same subject. I don't think it's appropriate to keep
September 10, 2025 at 8:55 PM
⬇️⬇️⬇️
Peter Capaldi's Doctor being an asexual icon.
Doctor: "You look taller."
Clara, all dolled up for a date: "I'm wearing heels."
Doctor: "Do you need to reach something on a high shelf?"
Clara, walking out the door: "Must go or I'll be late"
Doctor: "Late for a shelf?"
[TIME HEIST]
Doctor: "You look taller."
Clara, all dolled up for a date: "I'm wearing heels."
Doctor: "Do you need to reach something on a high shelf?"
Clara, walking out the door: "Must go or I'll be late"
Doctor: "Late for a shelf?"
[TIME HEIST]
September 8, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Peter Capaldi's Doctor being an asexual icon.
Doctor: "You look taller."
Clara, all dolled up for a date: "I'm wearing heels."
Doctor: "Do you need to reach something on a high shelf?"
Clara, walking out the door: "Must go or I'll be late"
Doctor: "Late for a shelf?"
[TIME HEIST]
Doctor: "You look taller."
Clara, all dolled up for a date: "I'm wearing heels."
Doctor: "Do you need to reach something on a high shelf?"
Clara, walking out the door: "Must go or I'll be late"
Doctor: "Late for a shelf?"
[TIME HEIST]
My demisexual poetry and essays collection is now available for preorder...
Demisexuality: a complex little understood sexuality, often confused with idealised social expectations.
I came out three years ago. This collection of poems and essays is a personal and intimate look at my personal journey.
🌈📚💙📚👀📢📚💙📚🪐♠️🌈📚
PREORDER HERE
mybook.to/beingdemi
books2read.com/beingdemi
I came out three years ago. This collection of poems and essays is a personal and intimate look at my personal journey.
🌈📚💙📚👀📢📚💙📚🪐♠️🌈📚
PREORDER HERE
mybook.to/beingdemi
books2read.com/beingdemi
September 7, 2025 at 4:32 PM
My demisexual poetry and essays collection is now available for preorder...
Happy Bi Visibility Month!
I don't know if I will ever consider myself bi.
I'm attracted to more than one gender, but feel the need to be more specific that I'm aesthetically attracted to femininity and androgyny with the capacity for romantic and sexual attraction (subject to the usual demi bond)
I don't know if I will ever consider myself bi.
I'm attracted to more than one gender, but feel the need to be more specific that I'm aesthetically attracted to femininity and androgyny with the capacity for romantic and sexual attraction (subject to the usual demi bond)
Since learning about Neptunic Attraction and identifying with it, I've started to broaden my mind and what attraction means. I'm really only now starting to grasp what a broad spectrum attraction it can be for many of us.
🌈🖊️💻
🌈🖊️💻
The More I Think About Attraction, the More of a Spectrum it Appears
In late 2023, I was on Holly Paige’s podcast More Than Sex to talk about being demisexual. At that point, I’d been out for about a year and was still in the process of working things out. That was then. This is now. The days of self-doubt have largely gone thanks to processing so much of my past and being mindful of my thoughts and feelings of attraction in the present.
therainbowisgrey.wordpress.com
September 2, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Happy Bi Visibility Month!
I don't know if I will ever consider myself bi.
I'm attracted to more than one gender, but feel the need to be more specific that I'm aesthetically attracted to femininity and androgyny with the capacity for romantic and sexual attraction (subject to the usual demi bond)
I don't know if I will ever consider myself bi.
I'm attracted to more than one gender, but feel the need to be more specific that I'm aesthetically attracted to femininity and androgyny with the capacity for romantic and sexual attraction (subject to the usual demi bond)
I'm now offering ARCs (advanced review copies) of my collection of poems and essays "Being Demi".
This chronicles my demisexual coming out journey, from feeling awkward and different in adolescence through to coming out and being welcomed into the community three years ago.
This chronicles my demisexual coming out journey, from feeling awkward and different in adolescence through to coming out and being welcomed into the community three years ago.
September 2, 2025 at 9:48 AM
I'm now offering ARCs (advanced review copies) of my collection of poems and essays "Being Demi".
This chronicles my demisexual coming out journey, from feeling awkward and different in adolescence through to coming out and being welcomed into the community three years ago.
This chronicles my demisexual coming out journey, from feeling awkward and different in adolescence through to coming out and being welcomed into the community three years ago.