BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
@slumlordthanatos.bsky.social
An endless stream of nerd shit, useless information, and classic memes.
Who wants a body massage?
Who wants a body massage?
Pinned
Fenslerfilm PSA 03 - Body Massage
YouTube video by FenslerfilmPreserve
youtu.be
For you young 'uns wondering about my username and avatar, here's an old classic from the pre-YouTube days.
youtu.be/ajxyLZcM2ps?...
youtu.be/ajxyLZcM2ps?...
If Arkansas loses to Mizzou by less than three points, they will finish the season 2-10 and still have a positive point differential.
It would be our worst season since Chad Morris, but it would still be really funny.
It would be our worst season since Chad Morris, but it would still be really funny.
November 29, 2025 at 8:35 PM
If Arkansas loses to Mizzou by less than three points, they will finish the season 2-10 and still have a positive point differential.
It would be our worst season since Chad Morris, but it would still be really funny.
It would be our worst season since Chad Morris, but it would still be really funny.
We're past the halfway point! Day 16.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker is a brilliant first game by Owlcat Studios, and it showed in the games that they have made since. They're a Russian team based in Cyprus.
If you loved BG3 and want something similar, check it out! It's raw, but a worthy first game.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker is a brilliant first game by Owlcat Studios, and it showed in the games that they have made since. They're a Russian team based in Cyprus.
If you loved BG3 and want something similar, check it out! It's raw, but a worthy first game.
November 28, 2025 at 11:18 PM
We're past the halfway point! Day 16.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker is a brilliant first game by Owlcat Studios, and it showed in the games that they have made since. They're a Russian team based in Cyprus.
If you loved BG3 and want something similar, check it out! It's raw, but a worthy first game.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker is a brilliant first game by Owlcat Studios, and it showed in the games that they have made since. They're a Russian team based in Cyprus.
If you loved BG3 and want something similar, check it out! It's raw, but a worthy first game.
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
i know that the people who run this social media platform are extremely squishy and weak when it comes to standing up against the monsters in power, so I won't say what I think Stephen Miller deserves. Unrelated: Patton Oswalt is pretty funny.
November 28, 2025 at 4:34 PM
i know that the people who run this social media platform are extremely squishy and weak when it comes to standing up against the monsters in power, so I won't say what I think Stephen Miller deserves. Unrelated: Patton Oswalt is pretty funny.
The Chiefs lost, which is good.
The Cowboys won, which is bad.
The Lions lost, which is bad.
My Razorbacks lost, which is also bad.
1-3 on Turkey Day. I need more booze.
The Cowboys won, which is bad.
The Lions lost, which is bad.
My Razorbacks lost, which is also bad.
1-3 on Turkey Day. I need more booze.
November 28, 2025 at 3:54 AM
The Chiefs lost, which is good.
The Cowboys won, which is bad.
The Lions lost, which is bad.
My Razorbacks lost, which is also bad.
1-3 on Turkey Day. I need more booze.
The Cowboys won, which is bad.
The Lions lost, which is bad.
My Razorbacks lost, which is also bad.
1-3 on Turkey Day. I need more booze.
My game for Day 15 is Buckshot Roulette.
Most of this game's dialog is mostly just the Dealer teaching you how to play the game. The rest of the game just oozes atmosphere; the game has precious little dialog, but the artstyle, music, and the audio design really hammer home the tension.
Most of this game's dialog is mostly just the Dealer teaching you how to play the game. The rest of the game just oozes atmosphere; the game has precious little dialog, but the artstyle, music, and the audio design really hammer home the tension.
November 28, 2025 at 3:07 AM
My game for Day 15 is Buckshot Roulette.
Most of this game's dialog is mostly just the Dealer teaching you how to play the game. The rest of the game just oozes atmosphere; the game has precious little dialog, but the artstyle, music, and the audio design really hammer home the tension.
Most of this game's dialog is mostly just the Dealer teaching you how to play the game. The rest of the game just oozes atmosphere; the game has precious little dialog, but the artstyle, music, and the audio design really hammer home the tension.
Fucking hell. Peace and quiet at last.
I don't understand why people have kids. Every family get-together, it's just young kids screaming the entire time.
Turkey was good, though. Still need several drinks, now that I'm home.
I don't understand why people have kids. Every family get-together, it's just young kids screaming the entire time.
Turkey was good, though. Still need several drinks, now that I'm home.
November 28, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Fucking hell. Peace and quiet at last.
I don't understand why people have kids. Every family get-together, it's just young kids screaming the entire time.
Turkey was good, though. Still need several drinks, now that I'm home.
I don't understand why people have kids. Every family get-together, it's just young kids screaming the entire time.
Turkey was good, though. Still need several drinks, now that I'm home.
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
“Let’s tag her and find out” is sending me 😂
...starting to think christian dude bros cant recognize actual religious themes if stereotypical white jesus isn't included...
November 27, 2025 at 6:39 PM
“Let’s tag her and find out” is sending me 😂
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
November 27, 2025 at 2:30 AM
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
quit then pussy
Speaker 'barely holding it together' and 'crushed by his workload': NYT
Speaker 'barely holding it together' and 'crushed by his workload': NYT
House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) made several revealing admissions about the stressful and chaotic nature of his job, according to a recent New York Times report.The Times' Annie Karni wrote in a Wednesday article that Johnson turned what was meant to be an easy interview with a friendly podcast h...
bit.ly
November 27, 2025 at 4:58 AM
quit then pussy
For day 14, I'm instantly eliminating MMOs and dedicated multiplayer games, or I'd have more than I could count.
But I don't have *hundreds* of hours in Total War: Warhammer and its sequels. I have *thousands.*
But I don't have *hundreds* of hours in Total War: Warhammer and its sequels. I have *thousands.*
November 26, 2025 at 7:20 PM
For day 14, I'm instantly eliminating MMOs and dedicated multiplayer games, or I'd have more than I could count.
But I don't have *hundreds* of hours in Total War: Warhammer and its sequels. I have *thousands.*
But I don't have *hundreds* of hours in Total War: Warhammer and its sequels. I have *thousands.*
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
when trying on pants, do this in the store. then tell the sales associate "the menswear guy told me to do this."
IG mr.funkys0ul
IG mr.funkys0ul
November 26, 2025 at 2:43 AM
For day 13, I'm going to go with a game that has *literal* good writing: Lost Odyssey.
Kaim's Memories are presented in stylized prose, and whoever did the translating for them deserves a medal. It's some of the most beautiful writing I've ever experienced.
Kaim's Memories are presented in stylized prose, and whoever did the translating for them deserves a medal. It's some of the most beautiful writing I've ever experienced.
November 26, 2025 at 3:19 AM
For day 13, I'm going to go with a game that has *literal* good writing: Lost Odyssey.
Kaim's Memories are presented in stylized prose, and whoever did the translating for them deserves a medal. It's some of the most beautiful writing I've ever experienced.
Kaim's Memories are presented in stylized prose, and whoever did the translating for them deserves a medal. It's some of the most beautiful writing I've ever experienced.
Introduce yourself with four spaceships
Four isn't nearly enough, even if I'm not repeating franchises.
Four isn't nearly enough, even if I'm not repeating franchises.
November 26, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Introduce yourself with four spaceships
Four isn't nearly enough, even if I'm not repeating franchises.
Four isn't nearly enough, even if I'm not repeating franchises.
Spotify shut down their Spotify Lite app, which I use because it didn't have that stupid Smart Shuffle feature that would randomly turn itself on without my input.
I even went hunting for the .apk after they delisted it from the US Google Play store.
Now it's just dead.
Tidal, here I come.
I even went hunting for the .apk after they delisted it from the US Google Play store.
Now it's just dead.
Tidal, here I come.
November 26, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Spotify shut down their Spotify Lite app, which I use because it didn't have that stupid Smart Shuffle feature that would randomly turn itself on without my input.
I even went hunting for the .apk after they delisted it from the US Google Play store.
Now it's just dead.
Tidal, here I come.
I even went hunting for the .apk after they delisted it from the US Google Play store.
Now it's just dead.
Tidal, here I come.
"My lawyers have advised me not to speak to you without a subpoena. Good luck getting one."
Or in the words of John Oliver, "Fuck you. Make me."
Or in the words of John Oliver, "Fuck you. Make me."
Abuse of power extending beyond Senator Kelly
"FBI has requested interviews with six Democratic U.S. lawmakers."
DOJ official "said the interviews were to determine 'if there's any wrongdoing and then go from there.'"
Note: For video accurately stating military law
www.reuters.com/world/us/fbi...
"FBI has requested interviews with six Democratic U.S. lawmakers."
DOJ official "said the interviews were to determine 'if there's any wrongdoing and then go from there.'"
Note: For video accurately stating military law
www.reuters.com/world/us/fbi...
November 25, 2025 at 6:49 PM
"My lawyers have advised me not to speak to you without a subpoena. Good luck getting one."
Or in the words of John Oliver, "Fuck you. Make me."
Or in the words of John Oliver, "Fuck you. Make me."
Day 12!
Basically all of Tom Francis' games are hilarious, but Tactical Breach Wizards had me rolling from the beginning to the end. The dry, sarcastic humor might not click with everybody, but engineering a series of events in order to blast bad guys out the window is always funny.
Basically all of Tom Francis' games are hilarious, but Tactical Breach Wizards had me rolling from the beginning to the end. The dry, sarcastic humor might not click with everybody, but engineering a series of events in order to blast bad guys out the window is always funny.
November 24, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Day 12!
Basically all of Tom Francis' games are hilarious, but Tactical Breach Wizards had me rolling from the beginning to the end. The dry, sarcastic humor might not click with everybody, but engineering a series of events in order to blast bad guys out the window is always funny.
Basically all of Tom Francis' games are hilarious, but Tactical Breach Wizards had me rolling from the beginning to the end. The dry, sarcastic humor might not click with everybody, but engineering a series of events in order to blast bad guys out the window is always funny.
It's late, but it's still technically Day 11, and this one's a hard one.
I'm gonna go with Cyberpunk 2077, because the central conflict of the game is facing the death of your identity and potentially being subsumed into someone else's, and that is a particular fear of mine.
I'm gonna go with Cyberpunk 2077, because the central conflict of the game is facing the death of your identity and potentially being subsumed into someone else's, and that is a particular fear of mine.
November 24, 2025 at 5:29 AM
It's late, but it's still technically Day 11, and this one's a hard one.
I'm gonna go with Cyberpunk 2077, because the central conflict of the game is facing the death of your identity and potentially being subsumed into someone else's, and that is a particular fear of mine.
I'm gonna go with Cyberpunk 2077, because the central conflict of the game is facing the death of your identity and potentially being subsumed into someone else's, and that is a particular fear of mine.
Pull the lever, Charlie Brown!
But Charlie Brown, I sell drugs in the community.
I watched him for 15 years, sitting in a room… inhumanly patient, waiting for some secret, silent alarm to trigger him off. Death has come to your little town, Charlie Brown. Now, you can either ignore it, or you can help me to stop it.
November 24, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Pull the lever, Charlie Brown!
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
Crockett on MTG resigning: "Honestly, I was like, you got to be kidding. You're on the other side of the president for one week and you can't take the heat? Imagine what it is to sit in my shoes."
November 23, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Crockett on MTG resigning: "Honestly, I was like, you got to be kidding. You're on the other side of the president for one week and you can't take the heat? Imagine what it is to sit in my shoes."
Holy fuck, women wearing those leotard tops that show a bit of their hips got me like
it is a black and white photo of a young man covering his face with his hands .
ALT: it is a black and white photo of a young man covering his face with his hands .
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 8:03 AM
Holy fuck, women wearing those leotard tops that show a bit of their hips got me like
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing
'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
November 23, 2025 at 7:47 AM
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing
'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing
without downloading new pics, what is it like dating you?
November 23, 2025 at 6:01 AM
without downloading new pics, what is it like dating you?
I rehearse the whole conversation.
Then I do it again, under my breath.
Brick from The Middle was exaggerated a bit, but only a little bit. Echolalia is a thing.
Then I do it again, under my breath.
Brick from The Middle was exaggerated a bit, but only a little bit. Echolalia is a thing.
Autism: I rehearse the whole conversation
ADHD: I wing the whole conversation
AuDHD: I rehearsed it, winged it, over explained, and remembered the perfect response 6 hours later
(Dr. Kojo Sarfo)
ADHD: I wing the whole conversation
AuDHD: I rehearsed it, winged it, over explained, and remembered the perfect response 6 hours later
(Dr. Kojo Sarfo)
November 23, 2025 at 5:11 AM
I rehearse the whole conversation.
Then I do it again, under my breath.
Brick from The Middle was exaggerated a bit, but only a little bit. Echolalia is a thing.
Then I do it again, under my breath.
Brick from The Middle was exaggerated a bit, but only a little bit. Echolalia is a thing.
Reposted by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
*sniff* they grow up so fast 🥲
November 22, 2025 at 5:45 PM
*sniff* they grow up so fast 🥲