Scrabble Grams Passages
@sgpassage.bsky.social
I take the newspaper puzzle #ScrabbleGrams and, after finding the day's four top scoring words, try to construct them into an amusing passage. On Sundays I construct a passage using a week's worth of #NYTSpellingBee pangrams.
Pinned
ANXIETY hangs around my neck, not like an albatross, but like a BROOCH constantly pulsing an AMPERE of fear into my system. ANXIETY is my COPILOT.
I wrote a manifesto arguing for a form of ANARCHY where we all live in communes and live off of BULGAR and what we can BOWHUNT. Good thing I used a PENNAME - turns out everyone hates BULGAR!
November 13, 2025 at 12:32 PM
I wrote a manifesto arguing for a form of ANARCHY where we all live in communes and live off of BULGAR and what we can BOWHUNT. Good thing I used a PENNAME - turns out everyone hates BULGAR!
As a form of BRIBERY, I offered to show the magistrate a NIPPLE. He scoffed, "That won't work on me! I'm not FIFTEEN ANYMORE." But I noticed he squirmed a little.
November 12, 2025 at 1:03 PM
As a form of BRIBERY, I offered to show the magistrate a NIPPLE. He scoffed, "That won't work on me! I'm not FIFTEEN ANYMORE." But I noticed he squirmed a little.
I first record the sounds of nature: a gnatcatcher singing, a CATFISH wallowing in the mud at the bottom of a river, a FIGTREE growing. I then OVERDUB those with the sound of a PICKUP truck revving its engine, and I have the soundtrack for Koyaanisqatsi 2: Losing Hopi.
November 11, 2025 at 1:13 PM
I first record the sounds of nature: a gnatcatcher singing, a CATFISH wallowing in the mud at the bottom of a river, a FIGTREE growing. I then OVERDUB those with the sound of a PICKUP truck revving its engine, and I have the soundtrack for Koyaanisqatsi 2: Losing Hopi.
Grandpa accidentally brushes my phone off the counter, then crushes it with his cane, THEREBY causing the phone's case to PANCAKE and setting the LITHIUM-ion batteries on fire. Long pause. Grandpa says loudly, "Well, *that* wouldn't happen with our old ROTARY!"
November 10, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Grandpa accidentally brushes my phone off the counter, then crushes it with his cane, THEREBY causing the phone's case to PANCAKE and setting the LITHIUM-ion batteries on fire. Long pause. Grandpa says loudly, "Well, *that* wouldn't happen with our old ROTARY!"
The pilot was having fun with a FLOOZIE, a LIZARD, and 43 crickets in the COCKPIT of his Cessna, so the OUTCOME of the flight didn't look great.
November 7, 2025 at 12:48 PM
The pilot was having fun with a FLOOZIE, a LIZARD, and 43 crickets in the COCKPIT of his Cessna, so the OUTCOME of the flight didn't look great.
Here's a LITMUS test for a potential employee at an organization: is its KINGPIN truly GHASTLY or merely BRUTISH?
November 6, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Here's a LITMUS test for a potential employee at an organization: is its KINGPIN truly GHASTLY or merely BRUTISH?
Reposted by Scrabble Grams Passages
Hey it’s gift-giving season, and one thing everyone needs every years is a new calendar. Buying these directly supports my art, as, frankly, if they stop commissioning these, a major chunk of income flies out the window.
B&N link: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/2026-samur...
B&N link: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/2026-samur...
November 5, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Hey it’s gift-giving season, and one thing everyone needs every years is a new calendar. Buying these directly supports my art, as, frankly, if they stop commissioning these, a major chunk of income flies out the window.
B&N link: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/2026-samur...
B&N link: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/2026-samur...
"Spanberger is just a COPYCAT - I already celebrated my election win last year with a SKYDIVE!"
"Huh, I hadn't heard about that. ANYWAY, no need to be UNCIVIL. This just shows what a great leader you are, sir!"
"Huh, I hadn't heard about that. ANYWAY, no need to be UNCIVIL. This just shows what a great leader you are, sir!"
November 5, 2025 at 1:10 PM
"Spanberger is just a COPYCAT - I already celebrated my election win last year with a SKYDIVE!"
"Huh, I hadn't heard about that. ANYWAY, no need to be UNCIVIL. This just shows what a great leader you are, sir!"
"Huh, I hadn't heard about that. ANYWAY, no need to be UNCIVIL. This just shows what a great leader you are, sir!"
The KITSCH of your DAYWEAR is going to give me an ANGINA! Those parachute pants need a RIPCORD.
November 4, 2025 at 1:33 PM
The KITSCH of your DAYWEAR is going to give me an ANGINA! Those parachute pants need a RIPCORD.
At the bar:
"So there I was, in the battle DECAGON, with an angry BEEFALO. It charged and knocked off my hand..."
"I bet you any number of CORONAE that that never happened. Look, I can see both your hands right now!"
"... well it REGREW."
"So there I was, in the battle DECAGON, with an angry BEEFALO. It charged and knocked off my hand..."
"I bet you any number of CORONAE that that never happened. Look, I can see both your hands right now!"
"... well it REGREW."
November 3, 2025 at 3:18 PM
At the bar:
"So there I was, in the battle DECAGON, with an angry BEEFALO. It charged and knocked off my hand..."
"I bet you any number of CORONAE that that never happened. Look, I can see both your hands right now!"
"... well it REGREW."
"So there I was, in the battle DECAGON, with an angry BEEFALO. It charged and knocked off my hand..."
"I bet you any number of CORONAE that that never happened. Look, I can see both your hands right now!"
"... well it REGREW."
"My client didn't INCLUDE the ingredient in the baby FORMULA that starts infants TWITCHING. And he didn't MANHANDLE anyone, or if he did, he's like the BILLIONTH INDIVIDUAL to have done so."
"Listen to my lawyer PETTIFOG," said the accused approvingly. "Worth every penny of the $20 I paid him!"
"Listen to my lawyer PETTIFOG," said the accused approvingly. "Worth every penny of the $20 I paid him!"
November 2, 2025 at 12:28 PM
"My client didn't INCLUDE the ingredient in the baby FORMULA that starts infants TWITCHING. And he didn't MANHANDLE anyone, or if he did, he's like the BILLIONTH INDIVIDUAL to have done so."
"Listen to my lawyer PETTIFOG," said the accused approvingly. "Worth every penny of the $20 I paid him!"
"Listen to my lawyer PETTIFOG," said the accused approvingly. "Worth every penny of the $20 I paid him!"
Help! Rival toddler cliques have engaged in open WARFARE at my DAYCARE center, and a FIREBUG on one side has set my shirt ablaze. Can ANYONE save me? ANYONE?
November 1, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Help! Rival toddler cliques have engaged in open WARFARE at my DAYCARE center, and a FIREBUG on one side has set my shirt ablaze. Can ANYONE save me? ANYONE?
CEO: I don't think it's IMMORAL that our COMPANY hires only ADJUNCT staff, at a fraction of what they should be paid. More of a corporate FOIBLE!
October 31, 2025 at 3:01 PM
CEO: I don't think it's IMMORAL that our COMPANY hires only ADJUNCT staff, at a fraction of what they should be paid. More of a corporate FOIBLE!
Sure, he lives in a FLEABAG and moans a lot, but I wager that if we DANDIFY him he'll be GENTEEL enough for high society. Let's start by applying IODINE to his open wounds...
- line from My Fair Zombie
- line from My Fair Zombie
October 30, 2025 at 11:39 AM
Sure, he lives in a FLEABAG and moans a lot, but I wager that if we DANDIFY him he'll be GENTEEL enough for high society. Let's start by applying IODINE to his open wounds...
- line from My Fair Zombie
- line from My Fair Zombie
From a TEXTUAL perspective, "the lass was COMELY" is a near ANTONYM of "the lass was in the late stages of BUBONIC plague."
October 28, 2025 at 12:35 PM
From a TEXTUAL perspective, "the lass was COMELY" is a near ANTONYM of "the lass was in the late stages of BUBONIC plague."
I CONFESS - I'm the one who started that INFERNO, the worst in Oktoberfest HISTORY. I just can't stand the OOMPAH music! 📯
October 27, 2025 at 12:10 PM
I CONFESS - I'm the one who started that INFERNO, the worst in Oktoberfest HISTORY. I just can't stand the OOMPAH music! 📯
Reposted by Scrabble Grams Passages
Guys please don’t raise the dead. It’s not as fun as it looks. It is, however, still extremely cool.
This witch’s name is Siobhan McGillicuddy.
#witchtober #artsky #spooksky
This witch’s name is Siobhan McGillicuddy.
#witchtober #artsky #spooksky
October 25, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Guys please don’t raise the dead. It’s not as fun as it looks. It is, however, still extremely cool.
This witch’s name is Siobhan McGillicuddy.
#witchtober #artsky #spooksky
This witch’s name is Siobhan McGillicuddy.
#witchtober #artsky #spooksky
Homeland Security Advisor Nosferatu (inspired by @tomtomorrow.bsky.social) with a beautiful witch
October 26, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Homeland Security Advisor Nosferatu (inspired by @tomtomorrow.bsky.social) with a beautiful witch
Since the cartilage of my nose is UNFUSED, there is greater accumulation of PHLEGM THEREIN than is ROUTINE.
October 25, 2025 at 12:43 PM
Since the cartilage of my nose is UNFUSED, there is greater accumulation of PHLEGM THEREIN than is ROUTINE.
Next we have a magnificent ten KILOTON FLORAL display by some of the best FLORAL arrangers in the business. The crowd is giving it a standing OVATION. Wait, what's happening now? For some reason, the president of the FLORAL Society has driven a Ford MUSTANG right through the middle of this display!
October 24, 2025 at 12:10 PM
Next we have a magnificent ten KILOTON FLORAL display by some of the best FLORAL arrangers in the business. The crowd is giving it a standing OVATION. Wait, what's happening now? For some reason, the president of the FLORAL Society has driven a Ford MUSTANG right through the middle of this display!
Reposted by Scrabble Grams Passages
Halloween costume ideas for birders.
October 23, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Halloween costume ideas for birders.
Reposted by Scrabble Grams Passages
Gertrude Candywaggon, the technically teenage witch, destined to rid the world of all evil and, if she so chose, bring it back again.
#witchtober #portfolioday #artsky
#witchtober #portfolioday #artsky
October 23, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Gertrude Candywaggon, the technically teenage witch, destined to rid the world of all evil and, if she so chose, bring it back again.
#witchtober #portfolioday #artsky
#witchtober #portfolioday #artsky
As the HOSTESS of this FLEAPIT, I recommend putting ANTIFOG gel on your glasses and lots of deet on your LOWISH parts, if you're feeling OWLISH.
October 22, 2025 at 12:37 PM
As the HOSTESS of this FLEAPIT, I recommend putting ANTIFOG gel on your glasses and lots of deet on your LOWISH parts, if you're feeling OWLISH.
ANXIETY hangs around my neck, not like an albatross, but like a BROOCH constantly pulsing an AMPERE of fear into my system. ANXIETY is my COPILOT.
October 21, 2025 at 10:05 AM
ANXIETY hangs around my neck, not like an albatross, but like a BROOCH constantly pulsing an AMPERE of fear into my system. ANXIETY is my COPILOT.
Reposted by Scrabble Grams Passages
New commission: a Muppet version of THE MENU! Mixed media on 11 X 14" watercolor paper. #MuppetMonday
October 20, 2025 at 2:05 PM
New commission: a Muppet version of THE MENU! Mixed media on 11 X 14" watercolor paper. #MuppetMonday