Just found this work set on the boy’s google classroom and can’t stop laughing.

You know that little song “the cheese tax”? Well, I’m just at the pool and saw a man with very low slung trunks and, well, you can guess what else was visible. As a result I have now contracted the adapted ear worm “the bum crack”.

A combination of a bad dream and the storm has woken me and I’m now sat in bed trying to find myself the perfect wolf jumper. Sadly I only really like all the ones made for kids.

Been poorly most of Christmas. Thought I was on the mend but this evening I suddenly started feeling horrendously nauseous and now I can’t sleep so I’m feeling somewhat fed up.

Think I might have found us a new budgie! Feeling very VERY excited. He is still a tiny featherless chick right now so won’t be ready until Jan/feb but the woman that breeds them is super nice and her birds look very happy and healthy.

Not sure when washing my hair, or rather the thought of washing my hair, became this hugely overwhelming burden. All day I’ve had this despondency about me and it’s basically just because I knew I had to do it tonight. I need to get a grip. Or a shorter haircut.

Off to Swansea tomorrow for my cousin’s wedding. There and back in a day (hopefully). Going with my mum and the boy is staying with my dad. This means leaving instructions. Lots and lots of instructions.

Two women on train talking about cooking over christmas.
“Obviously having to offer a vegan option for Dave”
“Dave isn’t vegan!”
“He is!”
“I tell you he isn’t”
“Then why does he eat vegan sausage rolls?
“Oh well he’s obsessed with Greggs vegan sausage rolls. Him & Kim both are. But he isn’t vegan”.

I’ve taken to wearing long socks in bed. Couldn’t cope with any type of sock in bed up until this year but now I’m a proud and happy long sock wearer. This is all I have to share at this time.

"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil."

Thomas Mann