Rubber Ptarmigan
rubberptarmigan.bsky.social
Rubber Ptarmigan
@rubberptarmigan.bsky.social
Alaskan comics putting on stand up shows and spreading the good word of comedy
Home of the Ptarmigan Ptimes, Alaska’s favorite loosely-reliable parody news source.
As Thomas Jefferson once wrote, the White House is like a hydra: cut off one of its wings and it’ll grow a dozen more — with a side of bleu cheese dressing.

You can read this, and more articles from the Ptarmigan Ptimes, on our website.
White House Unveils Plans to Replace East Wing with Buffalo Wild Wings — Rubber Ptarmigan
President Trump announced last week that the historic East Wing would be entirely demolished and replaced. Most of the 90,000-square-foot-expansion will be occupied by a Buffalo Wild Wings franchise w...
www.rubberptarmigan.com
October 29, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Following Prince Andrew's renunciation, the title Duke of York is up for grabs. Rubber Ptarmigan's founder Norman Peanut will travel to Buckingham Palace this week for an interview. The Dukedom was in fact held by the Peanut clan centuries ago, until it was stolen by Thomas the Heckler. Boo him!
October 20, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Want to try stand-up comedy but don't know where to start? This is where! Rubber Ptarmigan is launching our first-ever workshop series.

Join us at The Writer's Block on the dates listed. Participation is free!

More info --> www.rubberptarmigan.com/events/rp-st...
October 19, 2025 at 9:08 PM
It's about time somebody showed those Norwegians what peace looks like.

You can read this, and other articles from the Ptarmigan Ptimes, on our website.
Trump Deploys National Guard to Oslo to Find Out Why He Lost Nobel Peace Prize — Rubber Ptarmigan
The 2025 Nobel Peace Prize was awarded on Friday to Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Carina Machado. The decision was praised by advocates of democracy and human rights worldwide. Less enthusiastic ...
www.rubberptarmigan.com
October 12, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Keep your yuk bucket full by coming to our Halloween themed comedy show. Alaska's funniest comics will be dispensing advice about the best, worst, and weirdest places to trick-or-treat -- across all time and space.

Tix are $15 in advance, $20 at the door.

tickettailor.com/events/rubberptarmigan
October 11, 2025 at 6:11 PM
We all know it and no one wants to say it... The first frost is coming. It can take your crabapples but it can never take your freedom! Exercise your right to stay warm by coming out to hang by the comedy embers.

www.rubberptarmigan.com/events
October 6, 2025 at 8:49 PM
The movie tie-in isn't dead. It just smells like it.

You can read this, and other articles from the Ptarmigan Ptimes, on our website.
Tie-In Merch Alert: Yankee Candle Co. Just Announced a Candle That Smells Like Dwayne Johnson in The Smashing Machine — Rubber Ptarmigan
Indie powerhouse film studio A24 is throwing its full weight into promotion for the upcoming wrestling biopic The Smashing Machine with a 22oz scented candle that smells like the film’s protagonist,...
www.rubberptarmigan.com
September 30, 2025 at 10:03 PM
This ain't no mock October. It's the real thing, and the first four days are packed with bona fide, non-artificial live comedy. Remember your training and you'll be fine.

Also welcome the return of our monthly open mic at the Whale's Tail! This Thursday at 7pm.

www.rubberptarmigan.com/events
September 29, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Update: Canada, France, and the UK have now officially recognized that it is this reporter's birthday.

You can read this, and more articles from the Ptarmigan Ptimes, on our website.
New York Times Reporter Can’t Help Mentioning It’s Her Birthday Over and Over in Front-Page Article on Gaza — Rubber Ptarmigan
Today is a devastating moment for humanitarian efforts in Gaza after bomb strikes this morning destroyed over $50 million worth of critical aid supplies in the region, as reported by the New York Tim...
www.rubberptarmigan.com
September 24, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Think you're seeing double? It's pretty early on a Monday for that, but you are! Sam Miller and Mike Glazer are starting their Alaska tours apart, then coming together for a dome-blowing double-header at Koot's -- Alaska's ground zero for comedy (among other things).

www.rubberptarmigan.com/events
September 22, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Whether or not you are afraid of no ghost, there's a comedy show for you in Alaska this week. One of the upcoming headliners, Roz Hernandez, is a bona fide ghost hunter on the side. Not your thing? Whatever you do, you gotta laugh to keep them ghosts at bay!
www.rubberptarmigan.com/events
September 15, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Say what you will about the benefits, I'll never get over the fake pink color of farmed demons.

Special thanks to our friends at the Spruce Tip for their help reporting on this story. Read more news at thesprucetip.com and rubberptarmigan.com/news
Gov. Dunleavy Promotes Alaska-Based Demon Farming — Rubber Ptarmigan
The governor has repeatedly stressed the significance of salmon in Alaskan business and recently spoke in favor of abolishing the 1990 statewide ban on fish farming. Soon after, he pledged to spend th...
www.rubberptarmigan.com
September 3, 2025 at 10:10 PM
White House love guru about to be fired.

You can read this, and other articles from the Ptarmigan Ptimes, on our website.
Russia-U.S. Summit Ends Early When Trump Goes In for Kiss Too Soon — Rubber Ptarmigan
Anchorage, AK – Presidents Donald J. Trump and Vladimir V. Putin met face-to-face on Friday to discuss matters of state including a potential path to peace in Eastern Europe. It was their first date i...
www.rubberptarmigan.com
August 20, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Missed Weird Al Yankovic at the Alaska State Fair last weekend? That is truly awful for you. Please consider going to one of these upcoming stand-up shows to heal yourself. We cannot promise accordion virtuosity, but we can promise comedy.
August 18, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Old dog seeks new trick.

You can read this, and other articles from the Ptarmigan Ptimes, on our website.
Dog Fakes Excitement Around Owner, Doesn’t Want to Admit Spark Is Gone — Rubber Ptarmigan
Valdez, AK — When Jack Lederer, 39, gets home from work, he is greeted each day by the same sight: an exuberant cheer routine of mammalian yips and curlicue leaps from his pet terrier, Sherman. Little...
www.rubberptarmigan.com
August 6, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Week 30 of the year is here!
Is it a weak week?
No!
Is it a wack week?
Maybe!
Is it a wink week?
You tell me...
Is it a work week?
Not if you walk out to see some of the wicked comedy shows on offer all week long. Which you should! It's what Wick would want.

www.rubberptarmigan.com/events
August 4, 2025 at 7:48 PM
If you’re filing taxes in Luxembourg, spare yourself the embarrassment and only tip 5% maximum!

You can read this, and more articles from the Ptarmigan Ptimes, on our website.
Huge Relief: Trump’s New Policy Still Allows Tips on Taxes — Rubber Ptarmigan
Americans should rest easy knowing the longstanding and cherished tradition of tipping one’s tax examiner may continue…
www.rubberptarmigan.com
July 29, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Mario Kart World has something for everyone.

You can read this, and more articles from the Ptarmigan Ptimes, on our website.
New Mario Kart Features Game Mode Where You Can Park in a Quiet Lot and Cry — Rubber Ptarmigan
Mario Kart World renders a freshly retooled iteration of the competitive, all-ages kart racing gameplay that made previous games runaway successes around the globe. One of the most notable addition...
www.rubberptarmigan.com
June 19, 2025 at 5:45 PM
The state of Alaska received its first-ever heat advisory this week -- specifically, for the searing hot comedy shows about to go down. Come out and laugh till your skin bubbles concerningly!

www.rubberptarmigan.com/events
June 16, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Life is a highway. And you should pull off at the nearest comedy venue because driving on it is hard and stressful and nobody uses their blinkers and gas is expensive and it's better to be indoors laughing at stuff. Take the off-ramp to these comedy shows this week!

www.rubberptarmigan.com/events
June 10, 2025 at 2:28 AM
A stirring report from a concerned citizen.

Want to contribute an op-ed article to the Ptarmigan Ptimes? Send us a message or an email to rubberptarmigan@gmail.com (no serious journalism please).
Opinion: I See Your Dirty Looks But I Will Never Mow My Lawn — Rubber Ptarmigan
I’m not blind you know. I’m an empathetic person. So yes, I see the glances, I notice when you walk on the other side of the street when you pass. I see that, when you think I’m not looking, you allow...
www.rubberptarmigan.com
June 4, 2025 at 9:17 PM
June has joined the chat. That means this week is gonna be heavy on light, and light on comedy. Get away from that dastardly sun for an hour or two of laughs. Or hey, get onstage yourself at an open mic -- like the new monthly one at Lat 65 in Fairbanks that launches tonight!
June 2, 2025 at 8:28 PM
The Sun: through it all things are possible. Like the first-ever comedy show at Naptowne Brewing! It's gonna be lit, and hot, and only fractions of a lightsecond away. Come double-fist beers and sunscreen with us as we celebrate Sol.

Tix here: www.tickettailor.com/events/rubbe...
June 1, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Sad.

You can read this, and other articles from the Ptarmigan Ptimes, on our website.
Ambient Noise at Local Cafe Too Distracting to Write Funny Articles In — Rubber Ptarmigan
Anchorage, AK — Readers will be disappointed to learn that the cafe where we chose to write today’s article has failed to provide favorable conditions for writing comedy. The situation is hopelessly b...
www.rubberptarmigan.com
May 30, 2025 at 8:19 PM
It's a Memorial Manifest! All today's remembering can really take it out of you. Save this list of upcoming shows so you don't have to commit the details to memory. But don't forget: comedy is one of the best ways to keep your brain active and un-demented. Come out and laugh -- for your health!
May 26, 2025 at 9:11 PM