natalie “joke nicholson” beech
@reallancebass.bsky.social
writer. comedy lady. senior ride operator at america’s only Hell themed amusement park. 📍LA
https://medium.com/@natcbeech
https://medium.com/@natcbeech
r u mad at us
September 25, 2025 at 6:58 PM
r u mad at us
if you cook jigglypuff is that pork
September 10, 2025 at 6:02 PM
if you cook jigglypuff is that pork
she has a knife!
August 22, 2025 at 11:49 PM
she has a knife!
guy who came up with emergency alerts:
we should make the phones shriek when there's a life threatening emergency. i'm talkin' tornadoes. earthquakes. hurricanes. tsunamis. wildfire. volcanic eruptions. landslides - what else?
dave in the back:
missing elderly folks
we should make the phones shriek when there's a life threatening emergency. i'm talkin' tornadoes. earthquakes. hurricanes. tsunamis. wildfire. volcanic eruptions. landslides - what else?
dave in the back:
missing elderly folks
August 20, 2025 at 3:18 PM
guy who came up with emergency alerts:
we should make the phones shriek when there's a life threatening emergency. i'm talkin' tornadoes. earthquakes. hurricanes. tsunamis. wildfire. volcanic eruptions. landslides - what else?
dave in the back:
missing elderly folks
we should make the phones shriek when there's a life threatening emergency. i'm talkin' tornadoes. earthquakes. hurricanes. tsunamis. wildfire. volcanic eruptions. landslides - what else?
dave in the back:
missing elderly folks
don’t worry everyone i am yelling at god he knows we are mad
August 17, 2025 at 5:30 PM
don’t worry everyone i am yelling at god he knows we are mad
33 years old, reflecting on my youth with horror,
32 years old, reflecting on my youth with horror,
August 14, 2025 at 3:54 PM
33 years old, reflecting on my youth with horror,
my toxic trait is when someone posts a photo with the caption “felt cute might delete later” i always comment “delete now”
July 21, 2025 at 4:50 AM
my toxic trait is when someone posts a photo with the caption “felt cute might delete later” i always comment “delete now”
gonna buy a yo-yo and get really good at it so i can travel to every school across the country performing yo-yo tricks onstage in their auditoriums as a thinly veiled way to indoctrinate the youth with the word of christ
July 11, 2025 at 4:34 PM
gonna buy a yo-yo and get really good at it so i can travel to every school across the country performing yo-yo tricks onstage in their auditoriums as a thinly veiled way to indoctrinate the youth with the word of christ
don't move to LA unless you've visited during the month of june to make sure the jacarandas aren't poisonous to your little bitch baby body
reflecting on my life with horror, realizing i have become the very thing i once feared: the neighbor who scream sneezes by their open window
June 19, 2025 at 5:54 PM
don't move to LA unless you've visited during the month of june to make sure the jacarandas aren't poisonous to your little bitch baby body
reflecting on my life with horror, realizing i have become the very thing i once feared: the neighbor who scream sneezes by their open window
June 19, 2025 at 5:49 PM
reflecting on my life with horror, realizing i have become the very thing i once feared: the neighbor who scream sneezes by their open window
two angels
June 17, 2025 at 4:58 PM
two angels
uh oh, mama sprained her ankle this weekend :-]
June 2, 2025 at 5:30 AM
uh oh, mama sprained her ankle this weekend :-]
you know how people are like “i always wished I could eat the pizza from the goofy movie” or like, the creme de la creme from aristocats? well mine’s the metal from the leg braces that fall off when forrest gump starts running. what vitamin deficiency is that
May 31, 2025 at 5:54 PM
you know how people are like “i always wished I could eat the pizza from the goofy movie” or like, the creme de la creme from aristocats? well mine’s the metal from the leg braces that fall off when forrest gump starts running. what vitamin deficiency is that
i think all my problems would probably disappear if i owned a pair of bitchy little sunglasses
May 27, 2025 at 10:02 PM
i think all my problems would probably disappear if i owned a pair of bitchy little sunglasses
wh*t the fuck
May 20, 2025 at 5:39 AM
wh*t the fuck
don't you dare judge me until you've walked a mile in my Strappy Stiletto Heels Square Open Toe Heeled Sandals For Wedding Bridal Prom Party Evening Funeral Dress Shoes For Women Comfortable Sexy Dressy Cute Ankle Strap Zip Up Strappy Slingbacks (orange)
May 14, 2025 at 1:53 AM
don't you dare judge me until you've walked a mile in my Strappy Stiletto Heels Square Open Toe Heeled Sandals For Wedding Bridal Prom Party Evening Funeral Dress Shoes For Women Comfortable Sexy Dressy Cute Ankle Strap Zip Up Strappy Slingbacks (orange)
just purchased a gun off of temu
May 11, 2025 at 7:25 PM
just purchased a gun off of temu
the new pope should have been daniel radcliffe. no clue if he's catholic but i know that little man loves doing weird shit
May 8, 2025 at 4:20 PM
the new pope should have been daniel radcliffe. no clue if he's catholic but i know that little man loves doing weird shit
i can’t believe they took away the curly cords on phones. “but natalie,” you DARE to challenge, “technology evolves!” okay??? you took away my fidget rope. now what am i supposed to finger fuck while the person on the other end drones on about their dipshit day????
April 24, 2025 at 5:04 PM
i can’t believe they took away the curly cords on phones. “but natalie,” you DARE to challenge, “technology evolves!” okay??? you took away my fidget rope. now what am i supposed to finger fuck while the person on the other end drones on about their dipshit day????
my therapist cancelled on me today. time for mama to do something reckless and unwise that unnecessarily complicates her life for the next 6-12 years 😎
April 22, 2025 at 8:21 PM
my therapist cancelled on me today. time for mama to do something reckless and unwise that unnecessarily complicates her life for the next 6-12 years 😎
just got the worst phone call of my life. i'm no longer allowed at the movie theater on account of my evil bird companion
April 17, 2025 at 8:28 PM
just got the worst phone call of my life. i'm no longer allowed at the movie theater on account of my evil bird companion
horrible news i took a selfie
April 12, 2025 at 3:42 AM
horrible news i took a selfie
this thought woke me from a deep slumber last night and I just HAD to write it down so I wouldn’t forget to share it
April 11, 2025 at 8:42 PM
this thought woke me from a deep slumber last night and I just HAD to write it down so I wouldn’t forget to share it
sharing a little bit of my diary :-]
April 11, 2025 at 8:41 PM
sharing a little bit of my diary :-]