smoking a really big bowl of weed then asking chatgpt for what I should be scared of

im a two drink autist but instead of caffeine and hydration its cold caffeine and warm caffeine

I would get back into magic if we found a practical way to chemically castrate guys like this

okay i'm so tired of having to explain this every time the chiefs play in front of a national audience. yes, all the chiefs players are married to each other. no, they DO NOT all have sex with each other at halftime. they're more professional than that, and there's a lot more to marriage than that

there are no more traditional families, every family unit now is just 2 gay fathers-twink son- transexual daughter- and a bunch of weird pets

currently 3-0 in a little modern challenge, have thrown countless times but kitties is too powerful to simply punt matches away, the little critters will support and heal you while the deck plays itself 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

itchy itchy itchy, doing some truly revolutionary thinking, im living on levels that would scare you to consider, urza's saga is better than mana confluence bc it doesn't cost a land to tap for mana

wife hurredly excuses herself from the family festivities and darts upstairs, returns back seemingly satisfied. hours later I see this:

life is literally so hard for those of us built like an R Crumb drawing of american women

Somewhat freed from the prison of magic since despite cool new formats and whatever I don't think I have the noble restraint to allow myself to be around magic players anymore

Huge perk of the twink-wife, free weighted squats if i just have her climb on top of me

*feeding my secular zillenial faggot wife cold fancy feast from the can “we used to make this for potlucks, back when i was a kid! hahaha. num num num num. good job :)”

bellowing "TOO RICH FOR MY BLOOD!" and standing up from a poker table 0.4 seconds after sitting down

you vs the big illegible reverb I told you not to worry about,,,,, why are you making this weird?? I told you not to worry------ why are you always ruining things I can't belive you, I've really given you so many chances to be more to me than a burden I just.... I dont know.....

I fucking love being a hot woman who is completely insane and stupid. I'm literally better than everyone, I can say the most inane bullshit and still have bitches acting like Pepè Le Pew

I live every moment of my life drowning in fear

I owe literally my entire life to millenial trans women. yas please tell me about your experiences with pirate bay and and voting for obama queen, your a pillar of the community

constantly reminded that I really should be spending more of my time using my looks to manipulate men before i rot away :/

on the witness stand with ten bucks worth of big old gumballs in my mouth: mmmmmmmph mmmph