Anna Nonymous
@notsoplain.bsky.social
I was on Twitter, now I’m here. It can’t be any worse.
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
The three stages of married sex:
1) Tri-weekly
2) Try weekly
3) Try weakly
1) Tri-weekly
2) Try weekly
3) Try weakly
February 2, 2025 at 3:38 PM
The three stages of married sex:
1) Tri-weekly
2) Try weekly
3) Try weakly
1) Tri-weekly
2) Try weekly
3) Try weakly
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
My plant isn’t dead, it’s resting
January 15, 2025 at 11:09 PM
My plant isn’t dead, it’s resting
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
You can’t break an empty promise.
January 29, 2025 at 1:11 PM
You can’t break an empty promise.
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
A house divided against itself is 1 with no remainder.
January 30, 2025 at 1:04 PM
A house divided against itself is 1 with no remainder.
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
I'd like to be alone now please sign out.
February 1, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I'd like to be alone now please sign out.
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
I signed the Pledge for Canada but really it's for spite.
January 31, 2025 at 8:31 PM
I signed the Pledge for Canada but really it's for spite.
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
I just bought all the maple syrup at Aldi, just in case
February 2, 2025 at 5:09 AM
I just bought all the maple syrup at Aldi, just in case
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
“You are the reason I screen my calls,” he flirted.
January 30, 2025 at 2:35 AM
“You are the reason I screen my calls,” he flirted.
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
people who pull the bed covers anywhere up above the neck are pretending to be uncircumcised dicks when they go to sleep prove me wrong
February 2, 2025 at 6:08 AM
people who pull the bed covers anywhere up above the neck are pretending to be uncircumcised dicks when they go to sleep prove me wrong
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
- OK, tell me what he said and I’ll try to manterpret it.
- “You’ll always have my shoulder to cry on.”
- His shoulder = 🍆
- “You’ll always have my shoulder to cry on.”
- His shoulder = 🍆
February 1, 2025 at 12:06 AM
- OK, tell me what he said and I’ll try to manterpret it.
- “You’ll always have my shoulder to cry on.”
- His shoulder = 🍆
- “You’ll always have my shoulder to cry on.”
- His shoulder = 🍆
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
Should rename this place ButtholeSky
February 1, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Should rename this place ButtholeSky
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
If you spell favourite then spell neighbor, I can't tell what country you're in
January 31, 2025 at 11:50 PM
If you spell favourite then spell neighbor, I can't tell what country you're in
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
The basic skills of management include:
• Decision making
• Problem solving
• Blaming literally anyone else for your catastrophic fuck up
• Decision making
• Problem solving
• Blaming literally anyone else for your catastrophic fuck up
January 30, 2025 at 1:00 PM
The basic skills of management include:
• Decision making
• Problem solving
• Blaming literally anyone else for your catastrophic fuck up
• Decision making
• Problem solving
• Blaming literally anyone else for your catastrophic fuck up
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
I often think about how quickly I’d die if I was told to run for my life.
July 30, 2023 at 5:25 PM
I often think about how quickly I’d die if I was told to run for my life.
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
Husband: So we’re that couple that sits around staring at our phones?
Me: Sure, I could eat.
Me: Sure, I could eat.
January 1, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Husband: So we’re that couple that sits around staring at our phones?
Me: Sure, I could eat.
Me: Sure, I could eat.
Fuck it, I’m getting bangs
February 2, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Fuck it, I’m getting bangs
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
ACAB includes the dream police.
January 31, 2025 at 11:23 PM
ACAB includes the dream police.
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
Birthday Hack: write “happy birthday” on their car air bags, then crash into them
January 17, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Birthday Hack: write “happy birthday” on their car air bags, then crash into them
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
- I don’t like seeing you like this.
- Like what? I’m fine.
- In person.
- Like what? I’m fine.
- In person.
January 27, 2025 at 2:40 AM
- I don’t like seeing you like this.
- Like what? I’m fine.
- In person.
- Like what? I’m fine.
- In person.
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
Pot. Kettle. Black.
You were driving just as fast as I was, officer.
You were driving just as fast as I was, officer.
January 14, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Pot. Kettle. Black.
You were driving just as fast as I was, officer.
You were driving just as fast as I was, officer.
Reposted by Anna Nonymous
“What do you mean you know where I live?” he flirted.
January 13, 2025 at 5:36 PM
“What do you mean you know where I live?” he flirted.