Fake Muriel Bowser
@notmurielbowser.bsky.social
As your Mayor, my top priority is making sure that every business gets a Fair Shot. You can read more about my accomplishments in my 136-Month Progress Report, coming to your mailbox May 2026.
This account is 100% corporate PAC funded and 100% satire.
This account is 100% corporate PAC funded and 100% satire.
Pinned
Good morning! Every day I wake up excited and honored to have the opportunity to help my constituents: business owners who may or may not live here.
Will Lewis will print whatever you want if you send him a text asking him how he & Bezos feel about having to write “Mayor-elect Lewis George” next year
Hey @notmurielbowser.bsky.social, did you see your puff piece in the comPost today? How much did you pay to get this piece placed?
www.washingtonpost.com/investigatio...
www.washingtonpost.com/investigatio...
November 13, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Will Lewis will print whatever you want if you send him a text asking him how he & Bezos feel about having to write “Mayor-elect Lewis George” next year
Reposted by Fake Muriel Bowser
This is the most underappreciated poster on DC BlueSky
Hell yeah the ribbons at my ribbon cuttings say “RIBBON CUTTING” on them
November 13, 2025 at 12:33 AM
This is the most underappreciated poster on DC BlueSky
Hell yeah the ribbons at my ribbon cuttings say “RIBBON CUTTING” on them
November 13, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Hell yeah the ribbons at my ribbon cuttings say “RIBBON CUTTING” on them
Sports betting is all over the news lately. Reminds me of the time my administration “negotiated” a $215 million no-bid contract to operate a sports gambling app that generated 1/20 of promised revenues and didn’t work for an entire Super Bowl.
November 11, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Sports betting is all over the news lately. Reminds me of the time my administration “negotiated” a $215 million no-bid contract to operate a sports gambling app that generated 1/20 of promised revenues and didn’t work for an entire Super Bowl.
A Safe DC is a Prosperous DC
November 9, 2025 at 2:04 PM
A Safe DC is a Prosperous DC
Please note, collaboration with our Federal law enforcement partners will operate as normal.
In observance of Veterans Day, DC Government services and office hours will be modified on Tuesday, November 11.
Note that DC Government services will be on their regular schedule for Monday, November 10.
For more information about ongoing District operations ➡️ tinyurl.com/DCVeteransDayServices
Note that DC Government services will be on their regular schedule for Monday, November 10.
For more information about ongoing District operations ➡️ tinyurl.com/DCVeteransDayServices
November 9, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Please note, collaboration with our Federal law enforcement partners will operate as normal.
Let’s be clear: My receptiveness to having the President’s masked goons and MPD terrorize my constituents and the DOJ investigating me for bribery have absolutely nothing to do with one another, and it is a scurrilous lie to say otherwise.
November 7, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Let’s be clear: My receptiveness to having the President’s masked goons and MPD terrorize my constituents and the DOJ investigating me for bribery have absolutely nothing to do with one another, and it is a scurrilous lie to say otherwise.
Janeese will take away our low-number tags, this is a 5 alarm fire folks
November 6, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Janeese will take away our low-number tags, this is a 5 alarm fire folks
I was standing up to Trump before it was cool.
November 5, 2025 at 10:11 PM
I was standing up to Trump before it was cool.
I don’t see anything tonight to show that people aren’t still looking for a pragmatic, pro-growth Democrat to stay the course in uncertain times.
November 5, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I don’t see anything tonight to show that people aren’t still looking for a pragmatic, pro-growth Democrat to stay the course in uncertain times.
I don’t see eye-to-eye with President Trump all the time, but one thing we are in lockstep on is the knowledge that if you, in word and deed, tell the people with the most power to stop you to fuck off into the sun, they will dutifully comply.
October 29, 2025 at 3:59 PM
I don’t see eye-to-eye with President Trump all the time, but one thing we are in lockstep on is the knowledge that if you, in word and deed, tell the people with the most power to stop you to fuck off into the sun, they will dutifully comply.
Maryland and Virginia drivers, you spoke and we listened—the DC streetcar is being taken out of service ahead of schedule! 🎉
October 28, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Maryland and Virginia drivers, you spoke and we listened—the DC streetcar is being taken out of service ahead of schedule! 🎉
My approach to policymaking is straightforward: Are you a working class person in need of some help? Well you can get fucked.
Do you own a business? Here are a range of options to bolster your bottom line, let us know what what works best for you.
Do you own a business? Here are a range of options to bolster your bottom line, let us know what what works best for you.
October 27, 2025 at 4:59 PM
My approach to policymaking is straightforward: Are you a working class person in need of some help? Well you can get fucked.
Do you own a business? Here are a range of options to bolster your bottom line, let us know what what works best for you.
Do you own a business? Here are a range of options to bolster your bottom line, let us know what what works best for you.
unquestionably the 2nd best thing about running DC is that the worse things get for ordinary people, the more we bend over backwards to favor the wealthy and connected (the best thing will be the obscenely lavish sinecure I get when this is over)
October 21, 2025 at 6:40 PM
unquestionably the 2nd best thing about running DC is that the worse things get for ordinary people, the more we bend over backwards to favor the wealthy and connected (the best thing will be the obscenely lavish sinecure I get when this is over)
The Council debate on exempting 2-4 unit buildings from TOPA is going exactly how I like it: with minimal data & public involvement and an outcome that favors corporate landlords
October 21, 2025 at 6:21 PM
The Council debate on exempting 2-4 unit buildings from TOPA is going exactly how I like it: with minimal data & public involvement and an outcome that favors corporate landlords
There’s only 1 king I acknowledge—the local business community!
October 18, 2025 at 1:17 PM
There’s only 1 king I acknowledge—the local business community!
If you’re a landlord having trouble evicting a tenant, please reach out—the DC Government is here for you!
October 12, 2025 at 8:24 PM
If you’re a landlord having trouble evicting a tenant, please reach out—the DC Government is here for you!
Good news stories are so hard to find these days
Evictions in DC hit record levels last year, with 1,869 households removed from their homes. We don't have final numbers for this year yet but avg. monthly evictions are the highest they’ve been in six years. New investigation from @51st.news @streetsensedc.bsky.social 51st.news/record-evict...
Evictions rising in DC as housing costs increase
New data shows evictions have surged past pre-pandemic levels, fueled by shrinking aid, high rents, and weakened tenant protections.
51st.news
October 11, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Good news stories are so hard to find these days
I KNOW they did not cut a ribbon in the District of Columbia without me
Today we got to celebrate the opening of the Park Morton apartments and that 15 former residents—so far—have moved back into their neighborhood. Many people worked thru a lot of challenges to get us here. Part of the Ward 1 housing production success story!
brianneknadeau.com/park-morton-...
brianneknadeau.com/park-morton-...
October 10, 2025 at 9:32 PM
I KNOW they did not cut a ribbon in the District of Columbia without me
With 700,000 potential customers, DC is a great place to locate your business!
September 29, 2025 at 11:39 PM
With 700,000 potential customers, DC is a great place to locate your business!
Love to see a great DC business in the news!
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/20/u...
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/20/u...
September 21, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Love to see a great DC business in the news!
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/20/u...
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/20/u...
ngl the thought of jamming that golden shovel into the earth at RFK is downright erotic
September 17, 2025 at 11:53 PM
ngl the thought of jamming that golden shovel into the earth at RFK is downright erotic
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
September 17, 2025 at 11:50 PM
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You see an occupying force. I see a bunch of new customers for Downtown DC’s great fast-casual dining spots.
September 15, 2025 at 4:39 PM
You see an occupying force. I see a bunch of new customers for Downtown DC’s great fast-casual dining spots.
Sick of hearing that I am missing in action when I have cut 3 ribbons this month *so far*
September 12, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Sick of hearing that I am missing in action when I have cut 3 ribbons this month *so far*