Not Carl
notcarl.bsky.social
Not Carl
@notcarl.bsky.social
I'm Not Carl. Abolish ICE
Pinned
Hope everyone comes out to see my band OCD/C this weekend. We cover AC/DC and if we miss a note we have to start the whole show over
Transferred my Spotify library to Apple Music and it seems to have matched the censored version of every song how do I fix this
December 1, 2025 at 2:50 AM
The phrase that stirs the soul of the most stoic of drivers: "a tailgating blonde"
December 1, 2025 at 1:36 AM
I think the Vanderbilt Commodores should score a few more here just for fun
November 29, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Who else got to fuck the turkey?
November 28, 2025 at 12:46 AM
I only use golf balls that are named after shampoo. Pro V1? Sure. Fructis X? I'll take a dozen. Best Golf Balls That Last Forever And Fly Really Far? Fuck right off
November 27, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Trying to convince the in-laws that they should not refer to the dog's little half-barks as "boofing"
November 27, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Some of the best handjob narration I've ever seen
November 26, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Never go full Discover tab
November 26, 2025 at 6:24 AM
Who are these people
November 25, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Eating my favorite sandwich for lunch today: the fluffernutter, or as I like to call it, a backstage handie
November 25, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Turned off the game when the Eagles went up 21 and only just learned they lost!
November 24, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Pretty fucked up SEC heavyweight Vandy scheduled FCS cupcake Kentucky the next to last week of the season
November 23, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Margarine Tyler Green Noble Peece Prize
November 22, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Wives love to buy dutch ovens that are way too heavy for them to comfortably handle
November 21, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Make sure to buy your turkey today so it'll be good and dead by Thanksgiving
November 20, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Uhhhh so Gio's definitely going to the world cup
November 19, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Urubad?
November 19, 2025 at 12:50 AM
It's insane that they aren't doing Inside The Episode clips for The Chair Company
November 18, 2025 at 3:05 AM
Confused how they designed the CBS graphics to flash yellow every time they update even if there's no flag
November 17, 2025 at 12:27 AM
It's not a bulge it's two balls and a DICK
November 16, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Gio hat trick coming
November 15, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Carb loading for wife's big race on Saturday
November 14, 2025 at 3:57 AM
The fuck is this team
It turns out Darnell Mooney had a broken collarbone this whole time, helping to explain the WR's struggles.

What it doesn't explain is why the Falcons, knowing that, did little to address a WR room that has been a massive 2025 disappointment

www.thefalcoholic.com/atlanta-falc...
Darnell Mooney broke his collarbone on the first day of training camp, per Raheem Morris
Mooney’s injury was more serious than the team let on, and the offense has paid the price.
www.thefalcoholic.com
November 13, 2025 at 3:26 AM
The South Carolinians simply must be kept out of North Carolina
Trump administration plans to send border patrol to Charlotte and New Orleans

The Trump administration plans to further expand the presence of immigration agents in U.S. cities, deploying the Border Patrol to Charlotte, North Carolina, and New Orleans, according to a government document and a fe...
Trump administration plans to send border patrol to Charlotte and New Orleans
The Trump administration plans to further expand the presence of immigration agents in U.S. cities, deploying the Border Patrol to Charlotte, North Carolina, and New Orleans, according to a government document and a federal official with knowledge of the plan.
www.wral.com
November 12, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Reposted by Not Carl
This is Russian company "Idol" with their anthropomorphic, AI robot being shown for the first time

It takes a few steps and immediately falls over

The sound only makes it funnier
November 12, 2025 at 12:42 AM