elly’s scream hole (PRIVATE)
@neurovore.bsky.social
vent account for posting through bad brain days and mommy issues (BlueSky please allow private/locking accounts, I’m BEGGING YOU)
TW: dysfunctional family, emotionally and financially abusive parent, complex trauma, ableism, homophobia, and transphobia
TW: dysfunctional family, emotionally and financially abusive parent, complex trauma, ableism, homophobia, and transphobia
Reposted by elly’s scream hole (PRIVATE)
You're not struggling to feel better because you'e "bad" or "not trying hard enough." You're struggling because you've been injured, & that injury has been reinforced for years. Healing psychological wounds is complex. You're not "doing it wrong."
Easy does it. Patience. Grace.
Easy does it. Patience. Grace.
November 15, 2025 at 3:19 AM
You're not struggling to feel better because you'e "bad" or "not trying hard enough." You're struggling because you've been injured, & that injury has been reinforced for years. Healing psychological wounds is complex. You're not "doing it wrong."
Easy does it. Patience. Grace.
Easy does it. Patience. Grace.
Reposted by elly’s scream hole (PRIVATE)
Acknowledging something hurt exactly as much as it did is not a sign of "weakness."
It's a sign that a survivor is serious about reckoning with what actually happened-- & that our abusers' & bullies' attempts to get us to ignore & minimize their harm have failed.
It's a sign that a survivor is serious about reckoning with what actually happened-- & that our abusers' & bullies' attempts to get us to ignore & minimize their harm have failed.
November 15, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Acknowledging something hurt exactly as much as it did is not a sign of "weakness."
It's a sign that a survivor is serious about reckoning with what actually happened-- & that our abusers' & bullies' attempts to get us to ignore & minimize their harm have failed.
It's a sign that a survivor is serious about reckoning with what actually happened-- & that our abusers' & bullies' attempts to get us to ignore & minimize their harm have failed.
every time I come back to my apartment from a visit to my parents’ house, I feel this heavy grief and desire to cry
partly because I don’t like leaving my dog, but also the pain of knowing that I won’t feel free of that place until both of them die
partly because I don’t like leaving my dog, but also the pain of knowing that I won’t feel free of that place until both of them die
November 16, 2025 at 10:21 PM
every time I come back to my apartment from a visit to my parents’ house, I feel this heavy grief and desire to cry
partly because I don’t like leaving my dog, but also the pain of knowing that I won’t feel free of that place until both of them die
partly because I don’t like leaving my dog, but also the pain of knowing that I won’t feel free of that place until both of them die
one of the parishioners at my church went on a mission trip to South African orphanages and women’s shelters with his mother, who’s a Methodist minister
she nearly broke down crying when describing the conditions under the USAID cuts
I s2g I will curse the Boer Devil to my last dying breath
she nearly broke down crying when describing the conditions under the USAID cuts
I s2g I will curse the Boer Devil to my last dying breath
November 10, 2025 at 1:52 AM
one of the parishioners at my church went on a mission trip to South African orphanages and women’s shelters with his mother, who’s a Methodist minister
she nearly broke down crying when describing the conditions under the USAID cuts
I s2g I will curse the Boer Devil to my last dying breath
she nearly broke down crying when describing the conditions under the USAID cuts
I s2g I will curse the Boer Devil to my last dying breath
my mother’s been bitching about my sister all morning and it’s seriously getting on my nerves
I’m definitely gonna check in with my sister when I get home tonight
I’m definitely gonna check in with my sister when I get home tonight
November 2, 2025 at 12:35 PM
my mother’s been bitching about my sister all morning and it’s seriously getting on my nerves
I’m definitely gonna check in with my sister when I get home tonight
I’m definitely gonna check in with my sister when I get home tonight
I knew it was coming and I was dreading it but I more or less got told by my supervisor that I need to start learning how to use generative AI 🫠🫠🫠🫠
October 21, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I knew it was coming and I was dreading it but I more or less got told by my supervisor that I need to start learning how to use generative AI 🫠🫠🫠🫠
good news though, my four month old nephew got baptized today and I’m one of his godparents 👶🕊️💕
October 19, 2025 at 9:59 PM
good news though, my four month old nephew got baptized today and I’m one of his godparents 👶🕊️💕
according to a reliable source close to my parish who attended the diocesan convention yesterday, they’re leaving in late January, but are staying between now and then to help with the transitional process
I’m still very sad about it, but at least there’s a few months left where he’s still here
I’m still very sad about it, but at least there’s a few months left where he’s still here
just learned through the parish newsletter that my rector and his husband will soon be leaving the parish
I kinda sorta felt like it was coming, but I really am not handling it well
I kinda sorta felt like it was coming, but I really am not handling it well
October 19, 2025 at 9:55 PM
according to a reliable source close to my parish who attended the diocesan convention yesterday, they’re leaving in late January, but are staying between now and then to help with the transitional process
I’m still very sad about it, but at least there’s a few months left where he’s still here
I’m still very sad about it, but at least there’s a few months left where he’s still here
just learned through the parish newsletter that my rector and his husband will soon be leaving the parish
I kinda sorta felt like it was coming, but I really am not handling it well
I kinda sorta felt like it was coming, but I really am not handling it well
October 18, 2025 at 2:34 AM
just learned through the parish newsletter that my rector and his husband will soon be leaving the parish
I kinda sorta felt like it was coming, but I really am not handling it well
I kinda sorta felt like it was coming, but I really am not handling it well
had an extremely fucked up version of a recurring nightmare, as one does on their 34th birthday
October 17, 2025 at 11:44 AM
had an extremely fucked up version of a recurring nightmare, as one does on their 34th birthday
like clockwork, I got eight ranting early this morning lmaooooooooo
I’m like one more childish anti-woke rant away from losing it on her, and like
any dopamine hit I get from actually saying something rational is followed by the deep dread I have of a long text rant from her days or weeks later
any dopamine hit I get from actually saying something rational is followed by the deep dread I have of a long text rant from her days or weeks later
October 12, 2025 at 11:24 AM
like clockwork, I got eight ranting early this morning lmaooooooooo
it brings me no joy whatsoever to feel this way about my own mother, but I really can’t be around her unceasingly for too long
and not having my brother there will definitely make visits feel a bit more strained, ugh
and not having my brother there will definitely make visits feel a bit more strained, ugh
thankful to the Nor’easter for sparing me from being around my mother for one extra day
my brother’s moving out over the next two weeks and she’s been more insecure (read: making me feel insane) than usual
my brother’s moving out over the next two weeks and she’s been more insecure (read: making me feel insane) than usual
October 11, 2025 at 11:39 PM
it brings me no joy whatsoever to feel this way about my own mother, but I really can’t be around her unceasingly for too long
and not having my brother there will definitely make visits feel a bit more strained, ugh
and not having my brother there will definitely make visits feel a bit more strained, ugh
thankful to the Nor’easter for sparing me from being around my mother for one extra day
my brother’s moving out over the next two weeks and she’s been more insecure (read: making me feel insane) than usual
my brother’s moving out over the next two weeks and she’s been more insecure (read: making me feel insane) than usual
October 11, 2025 at 8:37 PM
thankful to the Nor’easter for sparing me from being around my mother for one extra day
my brother’s moving out over the next two weeks and she’s been more insecure (read: making me feel insane) than usual
my brother’s moving out over the next two weeks and she’s been more insecure (read: making me feel insane) than usual
signed up for NorthSky, but everything from the mod crashouts to Link’s perma-ban are making me super cynical
it seems like the ATProtocol might be tainted to some degree by the ppl who developed it, but idk
it seems like the ATProtocol might be tainted to some degree by the ppl who developed it, but idk
October 6, 2025 at 6:20 PM
signed up for NorthSky, but everything from the mod crashouts to Link’s perma-ban are making me super cynical
it seems like the ATProtocol might be tainted to some degree by the ppl who developed it, but idk
it seems like the ATProtocol might be tainted to some degree by the ppl who developed it, but idk
after on-and-off condescension and beating around the bush, my mother finally outright said she thinks I might get ripped off + my insurance rates will go up
you could have told me this outright instead of patronizing me whilst I groped around in the dark, but okay!
you could have told me this outright instead of patronizing me whilst I groped around in the dark, but okay!
never tell your emotionally unstable parent anything about your car problems
biggest mistake of my life
biggest mistake of my life
October 2, 2025 at 1:23 AM
after on-and-off condescension and beating around the bush, my mother finally outright said she thinks I might get ripped off + my insurance rates will go up
you could have told me this outright instead of patronizing me whilst I groped around in the dark, but okay!
you could have told me this outright instead of patronizing me whilst I groped around in the dark, but okay!
I did get to talk to the lady from church about the incident two weeks ago + the possibility that money/church finances interfered with acknowledging G@z@
she was really sweet and validated a lot of my feelings, and helped balance my own thoughts so that I wasn’t coming at this purely out of anger
she was really sweet and validated a lot of my feelings, and helped balance my own thoughts so that I wasn’t coming at this purely out of anger
October 1, 2025 at 6:36 PM
I did get to talk to the lady from church about the incident two weeks ago + the possibility that money/church finances interfered with acknowledging G@z@
she was really sweet and validated a lot of my feelings, and helped balance my own thoughts so that I wasn’t coming at this purely out of anger
she was really sweet and validated a lot of my feelings, and helped balance my own thoughts so that I wasn’t coming at this purely out of anger
never tell your emotionally unstable parent anything about your car problems
biggest mistake of my life
biggest mistake of my life
October 1, 2025 at 5:17 PM
never tell your emotionally unstable parent anything about your car problems
biggest mistake of my life
biggest mistake of my life
one of the things that really sucks about having a parent whose brain got super cooked from years of right-wing websites: it crosses into ‘directly involves my marginalizations or those of ppl I care about” territory
oh dear, my mother found out about the Br!dg!tt3 M@cr0n conspiracy theory
September 25, 2025 at 11:21 PM
one of the things that really sucks about having a parent whose brain got super cooked from years of right-wing websites: it crosses into ‘directly involves my marginalizations or those of ppl I care about” territory
oh dear, my mother found out about the Br!dg!tt3 M@cr0n conspiracy theory
September 25, 2025 at 11:12 PM
oh dear, my mother found out about the Br!dg!tt3 M@cr0n conspiracy theory
he cut his hair again after tons of encouragement, I think he’s really gonna go for it this time!!!
I’m so happy for him and how many people are being supportive
I’m so happy for him and how many people are being supportive
watching one of my favorite antifascist journalists openly struggling with being a dysphoric, deeply closeted trans man is so fucking heartbreaking
September 25, 2025 at 9:48 PM
he cut his hair again after tons of encouragement, I think he’s really gonna go for it this time!!!
I’m so happy for him and how many people are being supportive
I’m so happy for him and how many people are being supportive
watching one of my favorite antifascist journalists openly struggling with being a dysphoric, deeply closeted trans man is so fucking heartbreaking
September 24, 2025 at 10:13 PM
watching one of my favorite antifascist journalists openly struggling with being a dysphoric, deeply closeted trans man is so fucking heartbreaking
got to do Zoompline for the first time in ages yesterday
today I had a fun conversation about milk tea flavors with a trans girl barista at the campus cafe housed in the library
my mood has been mostly shit this week, but there have been so many interactions that have made it more bearable
today I had a fun conversation about milk tea flavors with a trans girl barista at the campus cafe housed in the library
my mood has been mostly shit this week, but there have been so many interactions that have made it more bearable
September 24, 2025 at 5:23 PM
got to do Zoompline for the first time in ages yesterday
today I had a fun conversation about milk tea flavors with a trans girl barista at the campus cafe housed in the library
my mood has been mostly shit this week, but there have been so many interactions that have made it more bearable
today I had a fun conversation about milk tea flavors with a trans girl barista at the campus cafe housed in the library
my mood has been mostly shit this week, but there have been so many interactions that have made it more bearable
my mother really gets up in the morning once every few days and thinks, “know what I should talk to my one autistic child about? anti-vaccine bullshit pushed by RFK Jr.”
September 23, 2025 at 10:14 PM
my mother really gets up in the morning once every few days and thinks, “know what I should talk to my one autistic child about? anti-vaccine bullshit pushed by RFK Jr.”
feeling significantly less shitty today
no more headache, still disappointed and angry, but a lot calmer
also got to train an adjunct who is a retired teacher and an old Boomer Catholic Democrat, who was very sweet and lovely. so that helped me feel a lot better
no more headache, still disappointed and angry, but a lot calmer
also got to train an adjunct who is a retired teacher and an old Boomer Catholic Democrat, who was very sweet and lovely. so that helped me feel a lot better
September 22, 2025 at 4:49 PM
feeling significantly less shitty today
no more headache, still disappointed and angry, but a lot calmer
also got to train an adjunct who is a retired teacher and an old Boomer Catholic Democrat, who was very sweet and lovely. so that helped me feel a lot better
no more headache, still disappointed and angry, but a lot calmer
also got to train an adjunct who is a retired teacher and an old Boomer Catholic Democrat, who was very sweet and lovely. so that helped me feel a lot better
me: [spiraling over my church capitulating to genocide deniers who donate fat tithes]
some distant mutual I don’t talk to: [going on a long rant about how Trumpism proves that there’s no such thing as a good American Christian]
me: I’m sorry, but you are NOT helping my crisis of faith rn
some distant mutual I don’t talk to: [going on a long rant about how Trumpism proves that there’s no such thing as a good American Christian]
me: I’m sorry, but you are NOT helping my crisis of faith rn
September 22, 2025 at 12:24 AM
me: [spiraling over my church capitulating to genocide deniers who donate fat tithes]
some distant mutual I don’t talk to: [going on a long rant about how Trumpism proves that there’s no such thing as a good American Christian]
me: I’m sorry, but you are NOT helping my crisis of faith rn
some distant mutual I don’t talk to: [going on a long rant about how Trumpism proves that there’s no such thing as a good American Christian]
me: I’m sorry, but you are NOT helping my crisis of faith rn