Robert
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mrrobert.bsky.social
Robert
@mrrobert.bsky.social
300 followers 600 following 37 posts
dad. daca recipient. i.t. guy. bicycle rider.
🇲🇽 No human being is illegal.

It's the journey
It's the getting there to where you're going to

Going through hell, but still,
you're gonna make it through

It's the fire that they can't put out inside
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Reposted by Robert
safelyendangered.bsky.social
October 6, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Reposted by Robert
steviesubrizi.bsky.social
my castaway chair speaks for us all
a folding chair leaning against a fence with a sign on it that says "be careful; i'm unstable."
August 28, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Reposted by Robert
nedroid.com
In my experience there are three kinds of fantasy magic novels:
"There are three kinds of magic," said Wizzler, handing us each a balloon. "You can control tigers, you can shoot tornadoes from your fingers, or you can fly by holding your breath. The color of confetti inside your balloon will reveal which kind of power you have." I felt the panic rising in me. What if my confetti turned yellow, indicating that I was a Tiger-Talker? My family, a long line of proud Tornado-Fingers, would disown me. Could I ever return home, bearing such shame? I tried to calm myself as I readied the ceremonial safety pin. Green, I thought, willing my hopes into reality. Please be green. I popped the balloon, involuntarily shutting my eyes. When I opened them, would I see the green I hoped for? The yellow I feared? What if, gods forbid, the confetti were blue? I opened my eyes, seeing shock on the faces of my classmates. Wizzler himself stared at me, wide-eye. Looking down, I saw myself covered in confetti... purple confetti. “I don’t understand,” I growled, my body trembling with pain. “I combined eighty percent Earth-elemental mana with twenty percent Fire-elemental mana (Type B), focused through a twenty-four-sided icositetragon made of yellow topaz. This, in conjunction with my blood type, star sign, sense of humor, and nickname, should have produced a blazing column of lightning to vaporize my enemies. Instead, it made a big bubble that smells like fresh laundry. Why?” Skullgrumbler began to laugh. “You fool! You don’t even realize…” he squealed. “You’re facing east!” “It’s whatever you want,” explained Magemaster Grampledog. “Magic is just whatever you want.” I knew he was speaking in riddles, but I couldn’t grasp his hidden meaning. “So the rules are…” Grampledog lit a sliver of smokereed. “No rules. You say some words and you wave a stick and whatever you want just happens. You don’t even need the stick.” His wisdom still eluded me. I stared into his face, trying to decipher what he was really saying. “No, listen.” Grampledog snapped his fingers and his desk turned into a pile of chicken nuggets. “I didn’t even know that would happen.” His hat then came alive and began to yodel. “It’s pandemonium,” he explained. “It’s complete nonsense.”
July 28, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Reposted by Robert
dumbbeezie.bsky.social
We need the FTP party

Fuck these putos
July 2, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Reposted by Robert
annaghughes.bsky.social
this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake
June 5, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Reposted by Robert
petermanseau.bsky.social
Star Wars Intro Scroll Episode IV It Was All So Stupid Seriously, you would not believe how stupid it was. Every day, unrelentingly, just the dumbest stuff by the absolute worst people. And what made it worse was knowing that we’d brought this on ourselves.
May 4, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Reposted by Robert
mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social
Mom just suggested that I march right up to the Vatican, introduce myself to the guy in charge, hand him a printed copy of my resume and tell him confidently and forcefully that I’m the right person for the job.
April 22, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Reposted by Robert
tylerfromtheinternet.com
NYT: Gandalf the Grey claims that the Dark Lord Sauron wants to cover all the land in a second darkness: in reality, were Sauron to win a new term, it would still be daytime the same amount. Our experts say that while days would be dimmer, calling it total darkness is alarmist propaganda.
August 20, 2024 at 5:55 PM
mrrobert.bsky.social
I'm a DACA recipient in southern California, protected with my work permit for another 18 months, but have kept my head on a swivel for ICE enforcement because its fucking traumatic to endure when you're in my shoes.

I also work in Riverside county, and have had to drive
February 7, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Reposted by Robert
mrlovenstein.bsky.social
the illusion of choice
January 20, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Reposted by Robert
sande0724.bsky.social
Still screaming 😱😱😱
December 23, 2024 at 1:49 PM
Reposted by Robert
makeitunclear.bsky.social
finally finished downloading my limewire wrapped after 20 years
LimeWire Wrapped 1. sistem_of_a_dowm_Zelda_song.flac 2. Nirvana - Glycerine.flv 3. track_8_(1)_(1)c.mp3 4. weird_al_Bert_and_Big_Bird_smoking_weed_FUNNY(parody).wav 5. jay-z_the-blueprint_FULL ALBUM_REAL.mp3.exe
December 4, 2024 at 9:11 PM
Reposted by Robert
leftbobgolfer.bsky.social
Happy Sunday!!! :)
December 1, 2024 at 3:12 PM
mrrobert.bsky.social
All I want is a girl that would wear some Mike Tyson lingerie for me
November 30, 2024 at 1:06 AM
Reposted by Robert
hausofdecline.bsky.social
A man says "I have amnesia..." He looks in his front pocket and says "what's this? there's a letter in my pocket." He opens is and says "this could be a clue as to who I am." He opens the letter and it just says "You Have Amnesia." The man looks pissed.
November 7, 2024 at 2:46 PM
Reposted by Robert
illumi.meme
elon at every single trump rally
a man with a cast on his leg is laying on a lounge chair in a backyard .
Alt: stuart from mad tv jumping while saying look what I can do
media.tenor.com
October 29, 2024 at 8:25 PM
Reposted by Robert
benedictsred.bsky.social
I miss the days when you could go in Hot Topic and see a clinically depressed person wearing a corset and top hat
September 27, 2024 at 12:33 PM
Reposted by Robert
shutupmikeginn.bsky.social
confession time now that Biden seems to be through: I’ve been warging into Major while I sleep and attacking the secret service agents
July 19, 2024 at 5:50 AM
Reposted by Robert
hammancheez.bsky.social
Crowdstrike : its fine u just have to manually visit the PC boot it into safe mode and remove a sys file

US Organization with 50,000 pcs and a completely outsourced IT department in Bangalore : what
July 19, 2024 at 11:34 AM
Reposted by Robert
nachonachoman.net
Whale Porn Noise!
June 27, 2024 at 4:45 PM
Reposted by Robert
hammancheez.bsky.social
*Farnsworth voice* good news everybody
Roadside sign reading “our blowjob robots no longer murder”
June 10, 2024 at 10:40 PM
Reposted by Robert
jongraywb.bsky.social
Evergreen Image
A tiny mouse screaming “Please give a bitch a break”
June 7, 2024 at 5:14 PM
Reposted by Robert
hausofdecline.bsky.social
An old Butthead says "Dammit Beavis Huhuhuh." Beside him on a couvh is an urn with Beavis' face on it labelled "remains of Beavis." Butthead picks up the urn and starts to cry. He says "I miss him every day." He sobs while cradling the urn and going "huhuhuh huhuhuh"
June 6, 2024 at 2:41 PM