Mostly Dumb Essays
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Mostly Dumb Essays
@mostlydumbessays.bsky.social
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Essays, that are dumb. Mostly.
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“The Battle for Halifax: Democracy, Bike Lanes, and Strong Mayor Shenanigans”

#nspoli #novascotia #deadpool

thebigchill.substack.com/p/the-battle...
The Battle for Halifax: Democracy, Bike Lanes, and Strong-Mayer Shenanigans
“I've been through Nova Scotia, Sydney to Halifax, I'll never take any pictures cause I know I'll just be right back” – City and Colour [1]
thebigchill.substack.com
July 22, 2025 at 8:06 PM
mostlydumbessays.bsky.social
“Who is the funniest character in the NBA universe? [Media Chaos Lords Edition]

mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com/2025/06/30/w...

#nba #comedy #essays #basketball
Who is the funniest character in the NBA universe? [Media Chaos Lords Edition]
“I don’t care what people think. People are stupid.” – Charles Barkley On January 29, 2023, the Boston Celtics hosted the Los Angeles Lakes for a regular season tilt. For one glorious evening, the …
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
July 1, 2025 at 1:19 AM
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“Comedy is the Blues (for people who can’t sing”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #moe #daddyshome2 #willferrell #adamsandler #davidletterman
Comedy is the Blues (for folks who can’t sing)
“They called me Kid Gorgeous. Later on, it was Kid Presentable. Then Kid Gruesome. And finally, Kid Moe.” – Moe Szyslak Everyone does something to feel alive. That sweet stench of exhilaratio…
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 26, 2025 at 8:23 PM
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“Charmin Soft Law”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #law #farts #court #Brooklyn99 #TerryCrews #StarWars #Charmin
Charmin Soft Law
Charmin Soft Law”It’s not a scarf; it’s one of the world’s finest pashminas.” – Louis Litt I spent the better part of seven years working as a personal injury law…
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 26, 2025 at 1:02 AM
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“How to fix the NBA I: All-Star Shame”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #nba #allstar #shame #barkley #shaq
How to fix the NBA I: All Star Shame
“Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.” -Dennis Rodman When I was growing up, I was a loose basketball fan. Gro…
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 25, 2025 at 4:01 PM
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“Pop Culture Punch-up I: Teenage Mutant Ninja Goats”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #popculture #TMNT #Arthur #Magicschoolbus #Pooh #seasamestreet
Pop Culture Punch-up I: Teenage Mutant Ninja Goats
“Booyakasha!” – Michelangelo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I sometimes like to think that I’d make a good television or movie writer. I know, the hubris of a thirty-something lawyer with a po…
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 25, 2025 at 2:38 AM
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“Killer Cats and Carrot Glazes”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #cats #birds #family
Killer Cats and Carrot Glazes
-By Tom Champion “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” – Ace Ventura Everyone has their own little, weird lore. Their own timeline of inside jokes, strange milestones, and transcende…
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 23, 2025 at 7:53 PM
mostlydumbessays.bsky.social
“Darth Deadbeat Dad”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #darthvader #deadbeat #frozen #elsa #pokemon #ashketchum
Darth Deadbeat Dad
-By Tom Champion “Sleep when your baby sleeps, everyone knows this classic tip. But I say, why stop there? Scream when your baby screams, take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl, and walk aroun…
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 23, 2025 at 7:52 PM
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“Who gets the Canadian Tire Money?”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #law #funny #canadiantire
Who gets the Canadian Tire money?
-By Tom Champion “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” – Willam Shakespeare Everyone has a mental image of what ‘the law’ looks like – and by extension, what lawyers act like. …
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 23, 2025 at 7:38 PM
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“Tournament of Chumpions I: Eggs v Oatmeal”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #eggs #oatmeal #breakfast #chump
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 23, 2025 at 7:37 PM
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“Shower Thoughts I: The Hubris of Google”

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#mostly #dumb #comedy #essays #hubris #google #shower #chalamet
Shower Thoughts I: The Hubris of Google
-By Tom Champion “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” — Patches Houlihan, Dodgeball Like many people, I do some of my best thinking in the shower. Why? I have no idea. Deep thinking i…
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 23, 2025 at 7:35 PM
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“Jurassic Liabilities”

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#comedy #essays #law #lawsuit #civil #jurassicpark
Jurassic Liabilities
-By Tom Champion “I’d love to stand here and talk with you… but I’m not going to.” – Phil Connors, Groundhog Day In 2018, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom hit theaters as the sequel to 20…
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 23, 2025 at 7:33 PM
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“Do I just have one of those faces?”

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#comedy #essays #beard #printcredits #face #weird
Do I just have one of those faces?
-By Tom Champion “I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.” – Jimmy Kimmel Dear reader, something has been on my mind lately. Something has …
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 23, 2025 at 7:31 PM
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“Friar Laurence Sucks”

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#comedy #essays #comedyessays #shakespeare #dumb #friarlaurence
Friar Laurence Sucks
-By Tom Champion “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Gary Scott, The Office Fiction is a beautiful thing. It transports us. It changes us. It consoles us when we stumble …
mostlydumbessays.wordpress.com
May 23, 2025 at 7:29 PM