Mr. Delicious
@misterdelicious.bsky.social
Hello, I'm Mr. Delicious, the man who took Rax Roast Beef to strange new places, like bankruptcy court. Dickety-dee! (Not affiliated with the real Rax.)
The Rax intimacy coordinator will try to balance your desire to eat your meal in peace with Mr. D's desire for a no-holds-barred, triple-X hedonistic throwdown with the entire dining area at once.
December 7, 2025 at 12:27 PM
The Rax intimacy coordinator will try to balance your desire to eat your meal in peace with Mr. D's desire for a no-holds-barred, triple-X hedonistic throwdown with the entire dining area at once.
We're suing the manufacturers of the Manwich, because we're pretty sure there's more man in our sandwiches than theirs, and we have better claim to the name.
December 5, 2025 at 11:28 PM
We're suing the manufacturers of the Manwich, because we're pretty sure there's more man in our sandwiches than theirs, and we have better claim to the name.
Did you know that during World War II, the British were forced to subsist off of Rax (or, as it was popularly called, "The King's Brown Porridge")?
They eventually air-dropped it on Germany to force their surrender.
They eventually air-dropped it on Germany to force their surrender.
December 5, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Did you know that during World War II, the British were forced to subsist off of Rax (or, as it was popularly called, "The King's Brown Porridge")?
They eventually air-dropped it on Germany to force their surrender.
They eventually air-dropped it on Germany to force their surrender.
You might think you can escape the horrors by unfollowing Mr. D. But there's no forgetting the sight of a Personal Plopper sandwich; the stale cigarette odor of the Rax solarium; or the cold, clammy feel of Mr. D's sticky handshake.
Rax: As much a part of you as that parasite we gave you.
Rax: As much a part of you as that parasite we gave you.
December 4, 2025 at 8:21 PM
You might think you can escape the horrors by unfollowing Mr. D. But there's no forgetting the sight of a Personal Plopper sandwich; the stale cigarette odor of the Rax solarium; or the cold, clammy feel of Mr. D's sticky handshake.
Rax: As much a part of you as that parasite we gave you.
Rax: As much a part of you as that parasite we gave you.
Hopefully none of our staff was expecting a Christmas bonus this year. Or at least, one not involving Mr. D's tongue.
December 3, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Hopefully none of our staff was expecting a Christmas bonus this year. Or at least, one not involving Mr. D's tongue.
The only thing on Mr. D's Spotify Wrapped list this year is "Screams of the Foresaken Volume LXIX." But in his defense, it's when the series really found its groove, and some of it was recorded right here in our restaurant bathroom.
December 3, 2025 at 10:46 PM
The only thing on Mr. D's Spotify Wrapped list this year is "Screams of the Foresaken Volume LXIX." But in his defense, it's when the series really found its groove, and some of it was recorded right here in our restaurant bathroom.
Rax may have lost the Franchise Wars, but we won the race to the bottom!
Rax: It can't get any worse. Can it?
Rax: It can't get any worse. Can it?
December 1, 2025 at 11:23 AM
Rax may have lost the Franchise Wars, but we won the race to the bottom!
Rax: It can't get any worse. Can it?
Rax: It can't get any worse. Can it?
We don't have any Michelin stars, but we did steal the toilet paper and light bulbs from the bathroom of a nearby tire store.
November 28, 2025 at 9:13 PM
We don't have any Michelin stars, but we did steal the toilet paper and light bulbs from the bathroom of a nearby tire store.
It's okay that we serve sanitary napkins as regular napkins. They're sanitary! Unlike the vast majority of things that cross our tables.
November 27, 2025 at 9:42 PM
It's okay that we serve sanitary napkins as regular napkins. They're sanitary! Unlike the vast majority of things that cross our tables.
Mr. D doesn't technically need to crawl inside the turducken, it's just the best way to be borne unto meaty new worlds by renacting his own birth, and also satisfy his sick psychosexual desires.
November 27, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Mr. D doesn't technically need to crawl inside the turducken, it's just the best way to be borne unto meaty new worlds by renacting his own birth, and also satisfy his sick psychosexual desires.
Can we legally staff this place with chimps? What if we pinkie-swear they won't rip anyone's face off?
November 26, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Can we legally staff this place with chimps? What if we pinkie-swear they won't rip anyone's face off?
We're never going to get rid of this Star Wars Holiday Special Life Day merch, are we? Because that would require having customers.
November 26, 2025 at 9:16 PM
We're never going to get rid of this Star Wars Holiday Special Life Day merch, are we? Because that would require having customers.
Our food cannot be digested. It can only be cast back into the fiery chasm of Mount Doom, from whence it came.
Rax: An Unexpected Journey
Rax: An Unexpected Journey
November 25, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Our food cannot be digested. It can only be cast back into the fiery chasm of Mount Doom, from whence it came.
Rax: An Unexpected Journey
Rax: An Unexpected Journey
Mr. D has sculpted a new meat wife who's superior to Mrs. Delicious in every way, especially by being much cooler about his barely-suppressed lust for her sister. And thanks to Rax's preservatives, it will last forever!
November 23, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Mr. D has sculpted a new meat wife who's superior to Mrs. Delicious in every way, especially by being much cooler about his barely-suppressed lust for her sister. And thanks to Rax's preservatives, it will last forever!
You ever get stuck beneath the floorboards of your sister-in-law's bedroom, hiding after trying to steal her undergarments for auction to fuel your raging Flintstone vitamin habit? Um, neither has Mr. D. Just asking, that's all.
November 17, 2025 at 11:56 AM
You ever get stuck beneath the floorboards of your sister-in-law's bedroom, hiding after trying to steal her undergarments for auction to fuel your raging Flintstone vitamin habit? Um, neither has Mr. D. Just asking, that's all.
Rax invented the slop bowl concept, when we invited diners to feed from one large trough. And then served them actual slop rejected by our livestock.
Rax: Mmm... Wet!
Rax: Mmm... Wet!
November 9, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Rax invented the slop bowl concept, when we invited diners to feed from one large trough. And then served them actual slop rejected by our livestock.
Rax: Mmm... Wet!
Rax: Mmm... Wet!
Well, Proposition 20 passed in a landslide, banning Mr. D from coming within three miles of schools, houses of worship, funeral homes, massage shops, delis, and cockfight arenas. Thankfully, since we're based in southern Ohio, there was nothing within 100 miles of us to begin with.
November 5, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Well, Proposition 20 passed in a landslide, banning Mr. D from coming within three miles of schools, houses of worship, funeral homes, massage shops, delis, and cockfight arenas. Thankfully, since we're based in southern Ohio, there was nothing within 100 miles of us to begin with.
Our Buffalo sauce is packed with flavor, made with real gutter runoff and street debris from Buffalo's sketchiest and ripest neighborhoods.
November 4, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Our Buffalo sauce is packed with flavor, made with real gutter runoff and street debris from Buffalo's sketchiest and ripest neighborhoods.
All the redrawn Congressional maps are routed around Rax locations, since no one wants them as part of any political or geographic entity.
November 4, 2025 at 5:24 PM
All the redrawn Congressional maps are routed around Rax locations, since no one wants them as part of any political or geographic entity.
We're hoping to someday expand Rax to more accessible and attractive franchise locations, like acid plains, ice floes, bottomless chasms, and the Bermuda Triangle.
November 3, 2025 at 11:26 PM
We're hoping to someday expand Rax to more accessible and attractive franchise locations, like acid plains, ice floes, bottomless chasms, and the Bermuda Triangle.
Mr. D's biggest personal flaw is that he frequently girlbosses too close to the sun.
October 28, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Mr. D's biggest personal flaw is that he frequently girlbosses too close to the sun.
Mr. D keeps asking our marketing department to film some commercials where the camera is inside the toilet, but they stopped responding to his emails.
October 28, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Mr. D keeps asking our marketing department to film some commercials where the camera is inside the toilet, but they stopped responding to his emails.
One man's toxic waste is another man's Rax Blob Throbber with Artificial Cheese.
Rax: We'd Like to Speak to Our Attorney
Rax: We'd Like to Speak to Our Attorney
October 28, 2025 at 12:23 AM
One man's toxic waste is another man's Rax Blob Throbber with Artificial Cheese.
Rax: We'd Like to Speak to Our Attorney
Rax: We'd Like to Speak to Our Attorney
Many women make their way to the exit when Mr. D asks if he can Wellington them. But believe him when he says it's by far the tamest request he'll make of them during their time dining here.
October 26, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Many women make their way to the exit when Mr. D asks if he can Wellington them. But believe him when he says it's by far the tamest request he'll make of them during their time dining here.
Mr. D is going to start branding his deposits down at the sperm bank as "Mr. Seedlicious by Mr D." You may begin tripping over yourselves to get in line, ladies.
October 25, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Mr. D is going to start branding his deposits down at the sperm bank as "Mr. Seedlicious by Mr D." You may begin tripping over yourselves to get in line, ladies.