Andrew
banner
marshalldotpizza.bsky.social
Andrew
@marshalldotpizza.bsky.social
Written stuff for McSweeney's and elsewhere: www.marshall.pizza
Oh no...these are happening. *Of course* it starts with Trump and "The Wharton School of Using the R-Word in Business Again"
December 1, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Reposted by Andrew
In this Ohio diner, the parliamentarian still means George Clinton. But they do know this: Senate Republicans need to fire any and all pesky bureaucrats that try to stop them from tearing the roof off the motherfucker.
June 29, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Reposted by Andrew
Lots of talk today about the demise of BlueSky. For whatever it's worth, it's been a boon to indie publishers like us. Twitter and Facebook have pretty much silenced us, so the engagement here has, and continues to be, wonderful.
June 8, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Reposted by Andrew
This is so good. KABAB.
GRAPE - Gift Received, Announced Pardon Early

PORK - Presidential Order Rewarding Kleptocracy

BACON - Barron Accepted, College Officially Normalized

MILK - Maliciously Ignorant, Like Kennedy

MACKEREL - Musk Around: Conceal Ketamine, Ecstasy, Ritalin, Ephedrine, LSD
Other Trump White House Food Acronyms
“The term ‘TACO,’ short for Trump Always Chickens Out, has been used to describe how markets tumble on the president’s tariff threats, then rebound...
buff.ly
May 30, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Reposted by Andrew
"MILK - Maliciously Ignorant, Like Kennedy". 🥛

Maybe I'll start using this. 🤣 When the world feels like a dumpster fire, sarcasm is self-care. ❤️
#EpiSky #IDSky
Other Trump White House Food Acronyms
“The term ‘TACO,’ short for Trump Always Chickens Out, has been used to describe how markets tumble on the president’s tariff threats, then rebound...
www.mcsweeneys.net
May 30, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Reposted by Andrew
McSweeney's has been doing marvelous work!
GRAPE - Gift Received, Announced Pardon Early

PORK - Presidential Order Rewarding Kleptocracy

BACON - Barron Accepted, College Officially Normalized

MILK - Maliciously Ignorant, Like Kennedy

MACKEREL - Musk Around: Conceal Ketamine, Ecstasy, Ritalin, Ephedrine, LSD
Other Trump White House Food Acronyms
“The term ‘TACO,’ short for Trump Always Chickens Out, has been used to describe how markets tumble on the president’s tariff threats, then rebound...
buff.ly
May 30, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Our earlier draft successfully used "K-Hole" in an acronym, but we decided it was too dark. Making fun of Musk should be joyous!
GRAPE - Gift Received, Announced Pardon Early

PORK - Presidential Order Rewarding Kleptocracy

BACON - Barron Accepted, College Officially Normalized

MILK - Maliciously Ignorant, Like Kennedy

MACKEREL - Musk Around: Conceal Ketamine, Ecstasy, Ritalin, Ephedrine, LSD
Other Trump White House Food Acronyms
“The term ‘TACO,’ short for Trump Always Chickens Out, has been used to describe how markets tumble on the president’s tariff threats, then rebound...
buff.ly
May 30, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Reposted by Andrew
May 2, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Reposted by Andrew
I mean.
April 22, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Reposted by Andrew
They get it.
- Nestlé-Glaceau Institute for Public Fluoridation Research

- Caltech Jet Propulsion Laboratory: A Subsidiary of SpaceX

- The University of Texas Football Team, LLC
US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
1. Florida Intranational University 2. Johns Hopkins School of Remunerative Medicine 3. Facebook.edu/DeVry 4. Colorado School of Mines—Nuuk 5. Mich...
www.mcsweeneys.net
April 11, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Reposted by Andrew
Amazing. McSweeney’s nails it again😂

14. Caltech Jet Propulsion Laboratory: A Subsidiary of SpaceX

15. The University of Texas Football Team, LLC

16. Georgetown Weaponized Law School

17. The Wharton School of Using the R-Word in Business Again

www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/us-...
US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
1. Florida Intranational University 2. Johns Hopkins School of Remunerative Medicine 3. Facebook.edu/DeVry 4. Colorado School of Mines—Nuuk 5. Mich...
www.mcsweeneys.net
April 9, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Reposted by Andrew
McSweeney's nails it. As always.

Among my favorites:
12. Penn State School of International but No Longer Our Affairs
15. The University of Texas Football Team, LLC
27. Texas Christian Nationalist University
US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
1. Florida Intranational University 2. Johns Hopkins School of Remunerative Medicine 3. Facebook.edu/DeVry 4. Colorado School of Mines—Nuuk 5. Mich...
www.mcsweeneys.net
April 9, 2025 at 5:41 PM
I wrote this for @mcsweeneys.net. You may want to check if your safety school made the list.
April 9, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Feedback is, as they say, a gift. If any of my followers wish to provide feedback on this account, my DMs are open! What would you like to see more of? Less of?
April 8, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I love my followers! 🙏
November 26, 2024 at 10:37 PM
48 65 72 65 20 77 65 20 67 6f 2c 20 61 6e 6f 74 68 65 72 20 73 6f 63 69 61 6c 20 6d 65 64 69 61 20 70 6c 61 74 66 6f 72 6d 2e 20
August 29, 2023 at 4:52 AM