Lauren
@laurilizabeth.bsky.social
semi permanently exhausted hedgehog 🦔. still reasonably hydrated & reasonably happy. the answer is ALWAYS flowers.
Pinned
Lauren
@laurilizabeth.bsky.social
· Mar 6
I’m considering a Pokémon style evolution from hedgehog to porcupine, given the current state of, well, everything.
I’m just saying… gifting me a full set of colored sharpies is the quickest way to my heart.
Its like I’m finally heard again
Its like I’m finally heard again
August 17, 2025 at 8:12 PM
I’m just saying… gifting me a full set of colored sharpies is the quickest way to my heart.
Its like I’m finally heard again
Its like I’m finally heard again
Signing a new lease on a whole ass house and not that shitty condo for just me and my son (and the dog and cat) and my heart has never felt so lifted
August 7, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Signing a new lease on a whole ass house and not that shitty condo for just me and my son (and the dog and cat) and my heart has never felt so lifted
You’re on your own kid. You always have been.
July 27, 2025 at 5:40 PM
You’re on your own kid. You always have been.
I literally do not know what UPS is supposed to deliver to me today (bc I got the notification and I haven’t purchased anything lately) and I am terrified
July 13, 2025 at 2:05 PM
I literally do not know what UPS is supposed to deliver to me today (bc I got the notification and I haven’t purchased anything lately) and I am terrified
The best part about a crock pot dump is NOT GIVING A SHIT WHAT YOU JUST DUMPED IN IT GO WITH WHAT FEELS RIGHT
which also breaks my heart/brain when it comes to cooking
Anyway. Let’s try these viral swamp potatoes. Let go and let god, I guess (I did not stick to a recipe)
which also breaks my heart/brain when it comes to cooking
Anyway. Let’s try these viral swamp potatoes. Let go and let god, I guess (I did not stick to a recipe)
July 12, 2025 at 7:13 PM
The best part about a crock pot dump is NOT GIVING A SHIT WHAT YOU JUST DUMPED IN IT GO WITH WHAT FEELS RIGHT
which also breaks my heart/brain when it comes to cooking
Anyway. Let’s try these viral swamp potatoes. Let go and let god, I guess (I did not stick to a recipe)
which also breaks my heart/brain when it comes to cooking
Anyway. Let’s try these viral swamp potatoes. Let go and let god, I guess (I did not stick to a recipe)
Gently rejecting my snotty child’s offer of half eaten tortilla thank you very much I love you and I love your sharing but I’m good not hungry thank you
(He’s so polite and sweet I can’t stand it)
(He’s so polite and sweet I can’t stand it)
July 12, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Gently rejecting my snotty child’s offer of half eaten tortilla thank you very much I love you and I love your sharing but I’m good not hungry thank you
(He’s so polite and sweet I can’t stand it)
(He’s so polite and sweet I can’t stand it)
He just said “well, what if y’all just tag along?”
Nay nay, that sounds actually horrendous. The logistics, fuck me.
Just gonna sit here patiently waiting for my flowers and wine from @fadedtimes.bsky.social 😘
Nay nay, that sounds actually horrendous. The logistics, fuck me.
Just gonna sit here patiently waiting for my flowers and wine from @fadedtimes.bsky.social 😘
July 2, 2025 at 5:32 PM
He just said “well, what if y’all just tag along?”
Nay nay, that sounds actually horrendous. The logistics, fuck me.
Just gonna sit here patiently waiting for my flowers and wine from @fadedtimes.bsky.social 😘
Nay nay, that sounds actually horrendous. The logistics, fuck me.
Just gonna sit here patiently waiting for my flowers and wine from @fadedtimes.bsky.social 😘
BRB gonna go make a peach cobbler so I can calm my tits
July 2, 2025 at 5:17 PM
BRB gonna go make a peach cobbler so I can calm my tits
Tell me that you need to work on communication in your marriage I’ll go first
My husband told me a month ago he had <insert here professional training> coming up. Sounded like something he’s done before, in town, at a hotel.
Last night, reminds me. Oh it’s in Baton Rouge but only 2 days, ok
(1/3)
My husband told me a month ago he had <insert here professional training> coming up. Sounded like something he’s done before, in town, at a hotel.
Last night, reminds me. Oh it’s in Baton Rouge but only 2 days, ok
(1/3)
July 2, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Tell me that you need to work on communication in your marriage I’ll go first
My husband told me a month ago he had <insert here professional training> coming up. Sounded like something he’s done before, in town, at a hotel.
Last night, reminds me. Oh it’s in Baton Rouge but only 2 days, ok
(1/3)
My husband told me a month ago he had <insert here professional training> coming up. Sounded like something he’s done before, in town, at a hotel.
Last night, reminds me. Oh it’s in Baton Rouge but only 2 days, ok
(1/3)
Today seems like a nice day to go to Lowe’s & spend a fuck ton of money just to piss my husband off on shit like lightbulbs, batteries, AC filters, Drano, a new door knob, a new mailbox lock…Just to remind him that I’m the only one gets that gets shit done around here
Think I’ll buy a new plant too
Think I’ll buy a new plant too
June 30, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Today seems like a nice day to go to Lowe’s & spend a fuck ton of money just to piss my husband off on shit like lightbulbs, batteries, AC filters, Drano, a new door knob, a new mailbox lock…Just to remind him that I’m the only one gets that gets shit done around here
Think I’ll buy a new plant too
Think I’ll buy a new plant too
“You know what this needs? Some muthafuckin RED WHITE AND BLUE. Fuck these muted modern shades, this is motherfuckin’ TEXAS”
- me pep talking myself
- me pep talking myself
May 5, 2025 at 7:46 PM
“You know what this needs? Some muthafuckin RED WHITE AND BLUE. Fuck these muted modern shades, this is motherfuckin’ TEXAS”
- me pep talking myself
- me pep talking myself
T can always call it when I’m not happy with a design; while he can never point out exactly what it is, he knows when it’s not cohesive. I’m glad he calls me out on this because it forces me to step away.
But now I’ve had time to think & now I know what it needs & I’m back to beauty base zero 😭
But now I’ve had time to think & now I know what it needs & I’m back to beauty base zero 😭
May 5, 2025 at 7:41 PM
T can always call it when I’m not happy with a design; while he can never point out exactly what it is, he knows when it’s not cohesive. I’m glad he calls me out on this because it forces me to step away.
But now I’ve had time to think & now I know what it needs & I’m back to beauty base zero 😭
But now I’ve had time to think & now I know what it needs & I’m back to beauty base zero 😭
Because would it even be a project if I weren’t stress chewing a bag of haribo goldbears and a movie theater box of bit o’ honey? RIP my jaw muscles
May 5, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Because would it even be a project if I weren’t stress chewing a bag of haribo goldbears and a movie theater box of bit o’ honey? RIP my jaw muscles
Good morning to everyone except me because every single one of my in-laws is in town today.
This seems like a real good time to go anon on every social platform.
This seems like a real good time to go anon on every social platform.
April 18, 2025 at 10:41 AM
Good morning to everyone except me because every single one of my in-laws is in town today.
This seems like a real good time to go anon on every social platform.
This seems like a real good time to go anon on every social platform.
And so, jury, I ask you
Would i really be playing in a golf tournament if i hadn’t hacked away at my legs with a razor and half assedly slapped some self tanner on?
No, no i would not. I’d be be in bed lazy AF
Gentleman Only GTFO
(I’m playing golf today for the first time in two years fml)
Would i really be playing in a golf tournament if i hadn’t hacked away at my legs with a razor and half assedly slapped some self tanner on?
No, no i would not. I’d be be in bed lazy AF
Gentleman Only GTFO
(I’m playing golf today for the first time in two years fml)
April 17, 2025 at 11:15 AM
And so, jury, I ask you
Would i really be playing in a golf tournament if i hadn’t hacked away at my legs with a razor and half assedly slapped some self tanner on?
No, no i would not. I’d be be in bed lazy AF
Gentleman Only GTFO
(I’m playing golf today for the first time in two years fml)
Would i really be playing in a golf tournament if i hadn’t hacked away at my legs with a razor and half assedly slapped some self tanner on?
No, no i would not. I’d be be in bed lazy AF
Gentleman Only GTFO
(I’m playing golf today for the first time in two years fml)
Why am I dressed like a counselor at Camp Anawana today
April 15, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Why am I dressed like a counselor at Camp Anawana today
I keep apologizing for my bad attitude this morning by blaming it on hormones and allergies but let’s just be honest, I’m hung over
Also, hormones and allergies
Also, hormones and allergies
April 15, 2025 at 2:07 PM
I keep apologizing for my bad attitude this morning by blaming it on hormones and allergies but let’s just be honest, I’m hung over
Also, hormones and allergies
Also, hormones and allergies
Confirmation bias does not have to be rooted in negativity.
Cherry pick the happy.
Seek out the good.
Live intentionally.
Cherry pick the happy.
Seek out the good.
Live intentionally.
April 11, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Confirmation bias does not have to be rooted in negativity.
Cherry pick the happy.
Seek out the good.
Live intentionally.
Cherry pick the happy.
Seek out the good.
Live intentionally.
First of all, my kid had the AUDACITY to wake up with a fever. So no daycare today, whomp whomp.
Second of all, he REFUSED my offering of a chicken strip with country gravy, preferring instead to swipe his otherwise delicious nugget in his own waterfall of snot before devouring.
Fucking toddlerhood.
Second of all, he REFUSED my offering of a chicken strip with country gravy, preferring instead to swipe his otherwise delicious nugget in his own waterfall of snot before devouring.
Fucking toddlerhood.
April 8, 2025 at 6:28 PM
First of all, my kid had the AUDACITY to wake up with a fever. So no daycare today, whomp whomp.
Second of all, he REFUSED my offering of a chicken strip with country gravy, preferring instead to swipe his otherwise delicious nugget in his own waterfall of snot before devouring.
Fucking toddlerhood.
Second of all, he REFUSED my offering of a chicken strip with country gravy, preferring instead to swipe his otherwise delicious nugget in his own waterfall of snot before devouring.
Fucking toddlerhood.
I was speeding through The World’s Greatest Grocery Store pissed off at the world because of all the literal shit I’m juggling right now and then Neil Young’s “Cinnamon Girl” came on overhead and I remembered who I am so it’s all over for you motherfuckers now.
April 5, 2025 at 1:14 PM
I was speeding through The World’s Greatest Grocery Store pissed off at the world because of all the literal shit I’m juggling right now and then Neil Young’s “Cinnamon Girl” came on overhead and I remembered who I am so it’s all over for you motherfuckers now.
Hi. Good morning. Happy Sunday. Fuck Greg Abbott. That is all.
March 16, 2025 at 10:11 AM
Hi. Good morning. Happy Sunday. Fuck Greg Abbott. That is all.
What’s something a “friend” has told you that has traumatized you I’ll go first:
Once on a trip to NYC reconnecting w/ some college girlfriends & going to a Broadway show I asked my former roommate to help me w/ my eyeshadow & she muttered “you have very small eyelids”. FFS I think about it everyday
Once on a trip to NYC reconnecting w/ some college girlfriends & going to a Broadway show I asked my former roommate to help me w/ my eyeshadow & she muttered “you have very small eyelids”. FFS I think about it everyday
March 14, 2025 at 10:16 AM
What’s something a “friend” has told you that has traumatized you I’ll go first:
Once on a trip to NYC reconnecting w/ some college girlfriends & going to a Broadway show I asked my former roommate to help me w/ my eyeshadow & she muttered “you have very small eyelids”. FFS I think about it everyday
Once on a trip to NYC reconnecting w/ some college girlfriends & going to a Broadway show I asked my former roommate to help me w/ my eyeshadow & she muttered “you have very small eyelids”. FFS I think about it everyday
all hail the mighty coffee nap
March 13, 2025 at 6:54 PM
all hail the mighty coffee nap
I’m considering a Pokémon style evolution from hedgehog to porcupine, given the current state of, well, everything.
March 6, 2025 at 9:39 PM
I’m considering a Pokémon style evolution from hedgehog to porcupine, given the current state of, well, everything.